Nobody Knows
by Darley1101
Summary: Picks up where Season 2 left off. Follow the interns down a path much different from the one on show as they deal with love, marriage, babies, death and divorce. Mostly Alex/Izzie, with some Meredith/Derek, Cristina/Burke and George/others
1. Five Minutes

Title: Nobody Knows

Author: Darley1101

Rating: Mature Readers Only (Adult Themes and Content)

Pairings: Alex/Izzie, Meredith/Derek, Addison/Mark, Cristina/Burke, George/Callie, George/OC, George/Lexie., George/Olivia

Pairings Mentioned/Hinted at: George/Meredith, Meredith/Mark, Izzie/Denny, Alex/OC, Addison/Derek

Premise: Picks up where Season Two left off. Follows the interns down a path very different from the one Shonda took them on. A rather fluffy tale of love, babies, marriage, death, divorce, and much, much more.

Author's Note: This is the very first fan fiction that I ever wrote. You will find that most of the time each chapter reads much like an episode would play out. You will also notice the writing style isn't as in depth as the style I use now. I apologize for that. As the story progresses you will notice a change in that though. I hope everyone enjoys reading this as much I enjoyed writing it.

Chapter One

5 Minutes to Figure It Out

_The funny thing about life is that five minutes seems so in coincidental. Just five minutes. You wouldn't think that it would matter. Just five minutes. Not to much damage can be done in so short time frame, right? Wrong! In five minutes you can see your life flash before your eyes._

The night air was heavy. Partially from the coating of rain that mingled with a semi cool temperature to form a swirling of fog across the parking lot of Seattle Grace hospital. Partially from the fear Preston Burke had heard in the voice over the phone.

Slamming the door to his car shut, Preston hurries toward the front entrance. Izzie had done something. What that something was, he had no clue. He had to find out though. He had to see if he could fix things before she went to far.

A man pacing the front of the hospital slowed his entry. The man seemed agitated, out of control, and kept messing with something that was clutched in his hands. Preston's first instinct was to ask the man if he was alright. The words formed on the tip of his tongue as he slowly approached. The crunch of his shoes on the side walk drew the man's attention.

Preston's heart lurches as he stopped a mere two feet from the man. The something in his hand wasn't just something, it was a gun. As the man raises his hand, time seems to still. The crack rings out in the night, followed by a numbing pain. He doesn't feel the ground as he crumples, yet he knows he must have fallen as the night sky dances above him. Another gun shot sounds in the darkness.

As he lay there, images of all he had yet to do flashing before his eyes, he can hear Bailey telling him to stay with her, to be strong.

_In five minutes you can make a decision that changes that path of not only your life but that of another._

The bandage scissors felt like dead weight in her hand. The monitors became a distant sound as her blood roared through her head. Heart pounding Izzie fought to remain in control. Now was not the time for second thoughts or regrets.

She heard Denny saying he loved her, that he trusted her. It was the boost of encouragement she needed. Closing her eyes, Izzie ignored the voice in her head telling her this went against everything she believed in, against everything she was taught. She blocked the voice out, letting the sound of Denny's declaration of love ring out over it. Pressing as hard as she can she severs the LVAD cord.

_In five minutes you can do something you never thought you would do._

The need outweighed the sense of it all. Any form of rational thought Meredith Grey might have had fled the moment Derek's hot mouth descended upon her neck. Her head arched back, giving him better access. She had longed for this for so long. Had longed to feel Derek's hands once more grazing the planes and valleys of her body.

Meredith's slender hands grasped his shoulders as he lift her onto the exam table. A moment later she felt his hands slide up her legs, then the tug of her panties coming down. Her mouth parted in a moan as he thrust into her. She should care that it was wrong. Later, she would care later she told herself as she gave herself over to the pleasure of having Derek love her once more.

_In five minutes, you can re exam who you are._

It wasn't real. It was just a bad dream. Except, she knew that it wasn't. Cristina was to much of a realist. What she wouldn't give to live in fantasy land right now.

Heedless of her dress, she climbed onto the edge of the hospital bed where Preston lay recovering. She had almost lost him. The thought that he might have died drags one lone tear from her eye. It streaked down her cheek, leaving a trail of eye liner in its wake. Needing reassurance, she lay her hand over his heart. She can feel it beating, strong and steady. It offers a small amount of comfort.

_So much can happen in five minutes. So much._


	2. Whoa Baby

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and review the start of this story. I noticed in a couple reviews there was a time line confusion. I thought I mentioned the story picked up at the end of Season Two. For a refresher on how things ended: Meredith slept with Derek in an exam room while Addison was downstairs at Prom. George and Callie became a real couple. Denny had just died and Izzie had a melt down. If you need a more detailed refresher let me know, I will see what I can come up with. The last chapter basically set all that up. This chapter picks up one month after the finale. I hope I cleared up any confusion you might have had.

Chapter Two

_Whoa Baby_

_One month later_

The tile was cold. That fact registered faintly as Meredith lay there, staring up at the ceiling. There were water spots in the plaster, she noticed. Funny, that she would notice something like that while laying on a cold bathroom floor, fully dressed in her old Dartmouth shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants Derek had left. "It could be wrong," she said, breaking her dead stare with the water marks. Her gaze locked on Izzie. Izzie who was leaning against the bathroom door, her face as pale as Meredith's.

"It could be," Izzie agreed. Her chin dropped against her chest as she plucked at the cream colored camisole she wore. There was a small dark spot where her coffee had splashed from her mug. "You know, they say if they sit to long a shelf they're no longer accurate. Maybe that's what happened. It sat to long and now it's no good." The fingers stopped plucking at the stain, and raised to her mouth. Nervously she chewed on the side of her thumb nail.

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Meredith stared at the offensive bit of white and purple plastic that lay a foot away from her. Two light blue lines. Positive. Just what every woman wanted to see first thing in the morning; a positive pregnancy test. "Exactly," she whispered, forcing herself to nod.

Izzie shakes her head, chewing her thumb nail a moment longer before yanking her hand away from her mouth in disgust. "Right." Sarcasm dripped from her tongue, followed by a short laugh. "It sat on the shelf to long and its just wrong. Just like the others are all wrong!"

The others. Both women looked toward the small stack of pregnancy tests that sat on the edge of the bathroom sink. Every last one of them read a glaring positive. No faint lines on any of those tests.

Meredith pushed her hair off her face, uncertainty etched across her face. "Maybe they're a bad batch. Like, the company messed up something and no matter what those tests are going to read positive. You know those things happen. You see those kind of things on the news." Her gaze darted over to the toilet, where Callie sat on the edge, plucking with the hem of her red t shirt. "You bought them all at the same store right?"

"Well yeah. I mean, why wouldn't I? Made more sense to just grab them all in spot than to cruise around Seattle looking for different stores to buy pregnancy tests in." Callie scowled a bit, her annoyance stamped across her face.

"It doesn't matter. What matters is staying calm about this. I mean, yeah, it looks bad right now…really bad, but you never know. They could be wrong." Izzie forced a bright smile of reassurance. Meredith and Callie both stare at her. She sighed. "Well, they could be."

Callie rolled her eyes and muttered something under her breath. "If it was just one, maybe two tests, I would agree. But we're talking about six tests here Izzie. Six of them. Six tests aren't wrong."

'They could be." Meredith's confidence was slowly dwindling. She had never been overly confident to begin with, so working up a false sense of disbelief and fantasy wasn't working for her. "Maybe you just need a different brand or something?" The question was directed toward Callie. She couldn't deal with this. Not right now. Yet, in typical Meredith fashion she felt as though she must.

"Me? Oh no. Uh uh. I'm not the one who was stupid here, okay? I was nice, went and got the first round of tests for you. Which was incredibly embarrassing I'll have you know. They looked at me like they thought I was opening a free clinic or something."

Heat crept up Meredith's cheeks, turning them a pale pink. "I'm sorry. Really. I am. I would do it, but I can't. You know that I can't. You know why I can't."

Izzie held both hands up, the tension on her face doubling. "I can't either. I'm under such a microscope right now…I don't need anymore gossip." The tension was replaced with sadness as she slid her slender body to the floor.

"I should say no. I should just walk out of here. Let the two of you figure this out on your own," Callie sighed, shaking her head.

"But you won't?" Izzie asked hope shining from her dark eyes.

"No. I won't. You guys owe me though. You owe me big time."

The door was closed. A quick jiggle of the doorknob proved it to be locked. The muffled voices coming from the other side insinuated some sort of female conference. This did not bode well for George, or his bladder. He could pound on the door, demand that they let him in or else. He wouldn't though. The urge to want to know what the hell was being said behind the closed door was stronger than the call of nature.

"Dude, if you're not going to go in then move so the rest of us can." The rumble of Alex's voice startled him. Eyes narrowed he turns to look at the unwanted roommate. Meredith had let him move in. All in the name of helping Izzie. Oh sure Karev paid Izzie's part of the bills, but in what way was his presence helping Izzie?

George shot him an annoyed look. "They're in there. Whispering."

"So? They're probably talking about tampons or some other equally disgusting chick product." Alex mused as he came to stand beside George. A moment later he chuckled. "Maybe you should be in there. Aren't you an expert tampon buyer?"

"You think you're so funny…well…you're not!" Scowling, George jiggled the door knob again, harder this time. "Come on guys, I really need to use the bathroom. And Alex is being an ass!"

"And you wonder why they call you Bambi," Alex shook his head in disgust before raising a fist to pound on the wooden door. "Come on girls, party times over. Bambi needs to take a piss and I need the shower!"

Panic was starting to creep in. Izzie had tried to keep it in check, to remain calm, cool, and optimistic. She had done a fairly good job of it, to. Until the pounding on the bathroom door. With a startled look, she scooted away, staring back at the rattling door. As Alex shouted again for them to unlock the damn door her gaze flew to the pregnancy tests. She dove for them the same moment Meredith did. "Ow!" Grimacing she rubbed the spot where her head had whacked against Meredith's.

"You two are hopeless, you know that right?" Callie shook her head. Unrolling a bit of toilet paper, she gingerly scooped the tests up, wrinkling her nose. Using the toe of her black Converse sneakers, she opened the cabinet under the sink. Unceremoniously, she tossed them in, then kicked the door shut. "There. Let the whine bags in."

Grasping the still jiggling door knob, Izzie yanked the door open. "There you go!" Making a sweeping motion with her arms she gestured for them to enter the bathroom.

"Move!" George grabbed her by the shoulders, moving her into the hallway. He almost collided with Meredith. Placing both hands on her back, he shoved Callie out the door before slamming it shut.

Blinking, Callie stared at the door. "What's gotten into him?"

A chuckle from Alex has them looking in his direction. He shrugged. "Bad Mexican?" Callie let out a disgusted groan, smacking him on the arm. "What? Oh come on, I didn't mean anything toward you. He ate a lot of those greasy tamales Grey brought home last night."

Izzie shook her head, glancing away from where he stood. She couldn't look at him. Not right now.

The relief as undeniable. It was all he could do to keep from sighing. Reaching for the roll of toilet paper he discovers it is empty. "Dammit," he muttered. Carefully he inched toward the sink. Meredith always kept extra rolls under there. He would have to mention the empty roll when he was done. The way the girls were always ragging on him, or Alex, about empty toilet paper rolls was going to stop. It wasn't just the males in the house.

Using the tips of the hand he hadn't used to hold himself steady he opened cabinet beneath the sink. His eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh my God," he whispered. There, right before him, lay a small mountain of pregnancy tests. Every last one of them positive.

The knots kept forming in her stomach. It wasn't in her nature to be deceptive. Yet, what choice was there really? Meredith lay a hand on her stomach, willing the knots to untangle themselves.

"You okay Grey?" Alex eyed her closely, his forehead wrinkled in concern. The knots tangled even further. She sucked at this. She really did. Why had she ever let herself get dragged into the mess that was starting to form?

"I'm fine. Just peachy," Meredith lied. She wasn't sure how much longer she could do this. Stand here making idle chit chat when she was carrying a secret that would explode when it came out.

"It's those tamales," Izzie injected quickly. "You know how greasy they were. Nothing a little pepto won't cure. Anyways, we have to be going. Big plans for the day. All girls day!" The overly peppy voice grated across Meredith's nerves, but she could deal.

"Oh yeah. Got ourselves a real nice all girls day planned," Callie smirked. Meredith shot her a look, the other woman shrugged. Meredith shot Alex a tight smile before turning to hurry down the hallway, Izzie and Callie on either side.

Without thinking twice, George pulled the tests out from under the sink. A sense of horror and dread started to creep in under his skin. Still clutching them in one hand he unlocked the bathroom door. Alex was still standing there, his gaze focused on something above Meredith's door. "Alex!"

The other man jumped, cursing. "What the hell? Jesus, O'Malley put that thing away!"

George glanced down, realizing that he was still exposed. Cheeks red, he adjusts himself, half zipping his pants. "Look!" He held up the hand with the tests in it. Alex frowned. "She's pregnant!"

"What?" Alex looked closer at the tests, then shuddered. "Where did you get those?"

"In the bathroom. Under the sink. She's pregnant. Callie's pregnant. It has to be Callie. I mean, Meredith isn't…you know…picking up guys anymore…and Izzie's…well Izzie. That leaves Callie."

Alex chuckled, then clapped George on the back. "Congratulations…Daddy!"

George stared back down at the tests, a small whine escaping his lips.

The woman had left him no choice. Derek had tried to be patient. He really had. He had mailed her a signed copy of his divorce papers. Had given her space when she asked for it. Yet, she still refused to talk to him. As pathetic and desperate as it was, he had little choice but to enlist the aide of her friends.

Yang was out, all she did was send nasty, cold looks his way. Stevens was gone, leaving O'Malley and Karev. Both were on the schedule for the day. He had passed the several times during rounds. With rounds almost over he lay in wait for them next to the nurses station. With the ding of the elevator came his two new allies, whether they knew it or not. "O'Malley. Karev." The two interns looked him. George was a bit green around the edges, and there was an unsettling smirk on Alex's face. "I was thinking the two of your would enjoy scrubbing in on a hemispherectomy."

"Seriously?" Alex raised one brow, his arms crossing. There was a look of skepticism on his face. Damn. It wouldn't be as easy as he first thought.

"Really? Wow! Thank you sir!" George grinned at him. Perhaps not so difficult. One just had to know which nut would crack. O'Malley was the cracked nut. "I always knew you were a decent guy, even if…" A look from Alex had George pressing his lips shut.

"Even if…what, George? May I call you George?" Derek offered the intern a reassuring grin. He would be damned if he let Alex seal his cracked nut up.

George licked his lips, looking toward Alex. "Uh...sure."

"How's life treating you, George? Good, I hope. Anything new going on?" The kid would crack wide open. The key was to ply him with kindness and surgical time. They all caved for time with the knife.

"The only thing new O'Malley has going on is he is going to be a dad." Alex smirked. There was a smugness there that made Derek want to slap the younger man across the face. The news of George's impending fatherhood stopped him though.

"Really? You're going to be a father? Congratulations!"

"We don't know that!" George shot Alex a dirty look, then turned a desperate gaze on Derek. "We don't know that!"

Alex shrugged. "Sure we do. Meredith hasn't slept with anyone in God knows how long. You said it yourself, she hasn't been bringing home any of her…friends…from the bar. And its been a almost three months since Izzie and I…" A pained look crosses his face as he trails off.

Derek frowns. He had assumed…oh what did it matter what he had assumed? He was confused as hell. "I'm sorry…what does Meredith or Izzie have to do with George being a father? Or not?"

George rubbed the back of his neck. "We…I…found some pregnancy tests in the bathroom. Positive pregnancy tests. We," he shot a hard look in Alex's direction, "don't know whose they are."

"Yeah, man, we do. Like I said, Meredith hasn't gotten laid in a while and Izzie…it's not Izzie, okay? That leaves Callie." Alex's smirk increased. It was clear he was enjoying the torture George was going through.

"Maybe they belong to someone else!" George defended. "Cristina was over last night!"

Once the idea was planted, George ran with it, his face brightening a bit.

Alex shook his head. "Why don't you just accept it? You're gonna be waist high in baby poop and formula. You're gonna be a dad."

Derek cleared his throat. It had occurred to him during their bickering that neither of them knew of prom night, nor where they certain who the tests belong to. It was quite possible that they did belong to Meredith. "Actually, Meredith and I…" What was he doing? He should be discussing this with her. Talking to her, asking her, finding out from her.

A blank look came over George's face. "You and Meredith…what?"

Where George looked lost, Alex looked in the know. "Really?" Derek nodded. "When?"

"Prom. Meredith and I…during prom." A bit of fear seeped through his veins. Some of the tension and fear had eased from George's face, while the smug, superior grin on Alex's only grew even more.

The chairs outside Addison's office had to be the most uncomfortable things ever made. Callie shifted around, trying to find some semblance of comfort on the hard, plastic and metal piece of furniture. "Remind me again why I'm here," she sighed. To her left sat Meredith, chewing her nails. It was amazing that Meredith and Izzie had any nails left. Both had chewed all morning long.

Izzie peeked around Meredith, her long blonde hair falling over her shoulder. "Because you're family?" There was a bit of hesitancy in her voice and her smile was shaky at best.

"That's right. You're George's, and George is our's. That makes us family. And family sticks together." Meredith managed around working what was left of her left ring fingernail.

Callie smiled. She wasn't sure if they were sincere or not, but it was start. She would take what she could get right now where they were concerned. She starts to say something in response but doesn't get the opportunity. Addison had walked up to them, lab results in hand.

"We could do this in my office…" Addison looked past her. Why wouldn't she? She wasn't the one who had stupidly gotten herself knocked up by a man who was her ex-boyfriend, lover, whatever.

Izzie shook her head, looking at Meredith. "You can just say what you need to say out here."

Meredith nodded. "That's right. Just…get it over with. Rip the band aid off." Izzie elbowed her.

"Well, alright. If that's…" Addison cleared her throat. Her discomfort over having to do this was apparent. Nobody could blame the woman. Her's was not an easy job. "Well, the home tests were right. You are pregnant."

The locker room was as silent as tomb. They had thought it best to move their discussion there to avoid gossip. Alex can't help the smirk that still lingers on his mouth. The two men seated on the bench in front of him looked pitiful. He leans back against the lockers, then wishes he hasn't. A familiar perfume drifts from the locker behind him. Izzie's locker. God, he missed her. Missed the way her smile would send tingles through his body, or the warm feeling he got when she was asleep in his arms.

"If we wait it out, they're bound to tell us. They kinda have to, you know?" George didn't exactly sound very sure. Then again, George rarely did sound sure.

Derek shook his head. "No. They might not. You never can tell with women. They are a tricky bunch. The best thing to do is confront them. Demand to know."

"I don't envy you guys," Alex chuckled as the two bicker back and forth a bit longer. The bickering came to a halt when the locker room door opens. A moment later Callie, followed by Meredith and Izzie, walked around the corner. "I really don't envy you."

"Don't envy who what?" Callie looked at him. He doesn't know why the look bothers him. It does though. Perhaps it was how intently she stared, as though measuring him to see what sort of man he really was.

George jumped to his feet, coming to stand in front of Callie. "Well…uh…you see…this morning there was no toilet paper, so I had to get a new roll. Only…instead of finding toilet paper under the sink, I found the tests." There was no need to say which tests he was talking of. They all knew.

A groan from Meredith swings everyone's attention in her direction. "Oh George," she cried. Her eyes find Derek, then narrow. "What is he doing here?"

"I work here!" Derek defended. The man was impressive when riled, Alex would give him that. There was almost something regal about the older man when he stood, shoulders back, chin raised.

"What did you do, George? Tell everyone?" The anger in Izzie's voice surprised him. Alex stared at her. She looks pale, tired. She had for a while now. His heart aches for her. She had taken the loss of Denny hard, making herself physically ill. He couldn't count the number of mornings he had heard her in the bathroom throwing up.

"I'm not the one who told Derek! That would be him!" George's finger pointed in his direction. Alex shook his head. Good ole George. Never willing to take it like a man.

"Thanks, Alex. Thanks a lot!" Meredith reached over, smacking his arm. It stung a bit but not enough to rub or frown.

Callie looked at him, brows raised, then looked at George. "George.."

The little bit of coloring that had returned to George's face left the moment she said his name. "It's okay Callie. Really. I mean, I'm not sure I'm ready to be a father, but…I can get there. I can get ready.:

"What?" Callie frowned. "George, what are you talking about?"

George frowned. "You. Being pregnant."

"I'm not pregnant!" Callie laughed, rolling her eyes. She laughed harder when George threw his arms around her. "Okay. Enough. I can't breath!"

There seemed to be a stare down of sorts between Meredith and Derek. Alex's mouth opened a bit, ready to suggest that the rest of them leave so the two could talk alone when Meredith said the words that were like a sucker punch to his guts. "Don't look at me that way Derek. We're done. Over. There's nothing between us. I'm not pregnant, and…if for some reason I had been…I still would be done with you."

Derek frowned. "If you're not…"

Before she answered, Alex knew. Deep in his gut, he knew. "I am," Izzie said softly.


	3. He Said She Said

Author's Note: Thanks again for the support and reviews! I really, really appreciate it. I hope any confusion you had has been cleared up. I also want to point out that when I first wrote this I usually wrote it while at work and some updates seem to end abruptly. I'm not sure why and I have really had the extra time or patience to finish them. They do work with the flow of the story though.

Chapter Three

Two Sides To Every Story

_There is this saying that there are two sides to every story. _

A myriad of emotions coursed through Alex's body as he sat on the edge of Izzie's bed. He had been to stunned, too angry, to deal with the pregnancy yesterday. Hell, today he was still angry. Partially over the irony that he was the dumb fuck who had gotten the girl pregnant, not Derek or George. Partially because how the hell could she not have known?

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Alex let out a ragged breath. "I'm trying here, Iz. I really am. I'm just…I don't understand. How the hell didn't you know?" Turning his head slightly he stared at her.

Izzie let out a sigh, an odd look on her pretty face. She leaned her hip against the top of her dresser, chewing her lower lip. "I missed my period, and…I did notice. I just…I don't know! I figured it was from stress. I convinced myself that it was stress. I mean, there was a lot going on. The whole Meredith and George thing. Then there was all that stuff with Denny-"

"Don't," Alex snapped. "Don't bring him into this. This isn't about him. He doesn't have any place in this conversation. None!"

_On one side you have what you think you know. _

The raised voice drifted from behind Izzie's closed door. Hearing it, George glanced over his shoulder. Rationally, he knew Alex had every right to be pissed off. If he was in the other guy's shoes he would be pissed as hell. It didn't stop him from worrying about Izzie though. "Do you think we should…" He stopped. Should what? Go up there? Get involved in something that wasn't their concern?

"Its not our business George," Callie reached for his hand, clasping it in her own. Her fingers meshed with his and squeezed gently. Another voice raised made them look over their shoulders again. It was Izzie this time.

"I know. You're right. Not our business." Both jumped as a loud crash echoed throughout the upstairs. The hell with it not being his business now. Scowling, George charged up the stairs.

_And on the other, what really happened._

The second crash coincided with the exact moment Izzie yanked her door open. Wide eyed, she stood there for a moment. "What was that?"

"Are you okay?" George demanded

"Why wouldn't she be?" Alex snapped from behind her. He stood close enough that she could feel the heat off his body and his breath in her ear. They both jump again as a third crash ricocheted throughout the hall.

_I'm not sure if it is human nature, or just the delicious feeling you get when you see some one else at their "lowest"_

The sound had come from Meredith's room. Callie was almost certain of it. Striding purposely down the hall, she headed directly there. Twisting the knob she shoved Meredith's door open. "I…" Her mouth droppe open as Meredith let out a shriek. Stunned didn't begin to cover how she felt.

Her body lurched forward a bit as George stumbles into the back of her. "Oh my God," she heard him whisper hoarsely. "Meredith…how…why? Why!"

"Is she okay?" Izzie wedged up next to George, peering over Callie's shoulder. Her large dark eyes blink. "Wow. Really…I'm just….wow!"

"Is that Sloan?" Alex asked in a stunned voice. Stunned. Shock. It was how they all felt.

"It's not as bad as it looks," Meredith said weakly. She tugged a maroon sheet up around her naked breast, not caring that in doing so she revealed more of Mark's anatomy than George or Alex wanted to see. The bed was sitting cockeyed, the front half broken down.

_Most of time we all want to believe the worse._

Oooooooo

Friends were nothing but trouble. Her life had been peaceful before she made the idiotic decision to have friends. She could do whatever…whoever…she wanted, without fear of judgment. Those were the days. The friendless days. Yup. Those were the good days.

Meredith used the tines of a plastic fork to rearrange the salad she had bought with not intention of actually eating. She looked up as she heard the chair across from her scrapping against the tiled floor. Her gaze met that of Cristina.

"So," Cristina yanked the chair out even further before dropping down onto it. Her body automatically slouched. She was fishing. It was so unbelievably crystal clear that she was fishing for Meredith's side of the debacle. She would have to come up with a better word than so if she wanted the juicy details of how Meredith ended up naked in a broken bed with Mark Sloan.

"They say it is a fruit," Meredith stabbed a grape tomato, raising it up to eyes level. Forcing a smile as fake as her interest in her lunch she twisted the fork one way, then the other.

Cristina raised her brow. "What is?"

"The tomato," Meredith answered, still twisting the fork.

"Hm. Yeah, that's real interesting Meredith. You know what, let's talk about interesting things…you have anything interesting you want to share? Anything interesting that you want to tell me?" Cristina crossed her arms, her gaze never leaving Meredith's face.

Meredith stared at her friend for a moment then forged on in her feigned interest of tomatoes as a fruit. "What I don't get is why is it a fruit? What makes it part of the fruit family?"

Cristina let out a sigh. "Hell if I know. It just is."

Chewing her lip, Meredith twisted the fork some more. "Maybe it's because it's so juicy."

The widen look she got from Cristina spoke of her friend's tried patience.

Cristina was on the brink of imploding. It was a bit comical, the red cheeked look she was achieving in her attempt to remain calm. "Maybe. Speaking of juicy-"

"I bet that's it," Meredith mused. "Its because their so full of…juice."

"I heard something interesting," Cristina cut in, her annoyance clear in her tone.

Sucking in one cheek, Meredith once again ignored Cristina's efforts to obtain information. "I just don't get it. I mean, if it really is a fruit…and I'm not convinced that it is…then why do they put it in the vegetable section?"

That seemed to be the catalyst of Cristina's mock calm. Reaching across the table the pried the fork from Meredith's hands and bit the tomato off of it before tossing the fork down. "I don't give a rat's ass about the not so interesting question of is a tomato a fruit or vegetable. What I do give a rats ass about is how the hell your bed got broken. With a naked McSteamy in it."

"I was going to eat that myself…and he wasn't naked. Not entirely. He had boxers on." Meredith defended, crossing her arms. So she looked like a petulant child, so what? "And…what does it matter any way? I'm damned no matter what. You know, just once I would like to actually do something worthy of being damned."

"Seriously? Did you just seriously say that?" Cristina stared at her, shaking her head. "Look, this is me, Meredith. Me. Cristina. Your person. I don't judge. I'm not going to judge. I understand. You had needs. There is nothing wrong with needs, except….I don't know….maybe you could start picking up men who aren't the She-Shepherd's left over's."

That burned. It burned deeply. Meredith scowled. She wasn't picking up the She-Shepherd's left over's. Was she? Last night, or rather early this morning, was a bit of a blur to her. She didn't want to try and revive any of the memories, as some of them were a bit embarrassing. "I am not picking up She-Shepherd's left over's. I'm still abstaining, remember? Knitting. No sex. That's me. No sex knitter!"

Cristina snickered. "So I'm guessing that anything that occurs in an exam room doesn't count?"

Mouth slackened in shock Meredith stared at her, hating the heat that slowly crept up her cheeks. "Who told you?" She asked in a low voice.

"Oh please. Like I need some one to tell me. I know all." Cristina sighed when Meredith lifts one eyebrow. "Fine. George told me."

George. She should have known. "He's worse than a girl," Meredith grumbled.

"Who? Bambi or McSteamy? Cause, if it's McSteamy, don't tell me. Let me live in my lust filled dream world where he is all that is hotness." Cristina smirked.

That was it. That did it. Letting out a little shriek, Meredith slapped her hands on the table, then stands up. "I did not have sex with McSteamy!"

Ooooooooooo

It wasn't that she was a gossip. She wasn't. Usually, she steered clear, left it to the nurses. In this case, after what she had seen this morning, and just overheard in the lunchroom, Callie couldn't help herself. As she stepped off the elevator her eyes quickly scan the area, spotting Alex and George leaning against the nurses station.

"I hate gossip. I think women who gossip have no lives. That being said…You are never going to believe what I seen in the cafeteria, or rather overheard. Meredith went all insane on Cristina. Like, got in her face and screamed at her insane. And, get this, she denied having sex with Sloan." Callie sucked in her lips, waiting for them to respond.

George stared at her for a moment, digesting her words. "He was naked in her bed, though."

"I've heard about denial, but this…" Alex shook his head chuckling. If he was going to elaborate he never got the chance. The dark glower of the Nazi had them all silenced.

Crossing her arms, Bailey looked from one to the other and then the other. "The only people who seem to be in denial are the three of you. Denial over what your true purpose here is. Torres, you have interns of your own. Find them. Teach them. Torment them. Leave mine the hell alone so they can get something done. O'Malley, get your ass to the Pit. Got an ambulance coming in. And Karev…where the hell did Karev go?" Bailey narrowed her gaze, catching him before he can duck into the men's restroom. "If you so much as step one toe in there, Karev I will permanently assign you to Dr. Shepherd. She-Shepherd, not the one with the over moussed hair who thinks he is a God."

George's mouth formed a small smile. "I think he would like that."

"Shut it Bambi," Alex growled.

"Stop calling me that," George ground out from clenched teeth.

"Are you done now children?" Bailey crossed her arms, one foot tapping. "If so…O'Malley get your ass to the Pit. Now. Karev, you come with me."

Callie leaned back against the nurses station, a bemused look on her face.

oooooooooooo

It wasn't funny. The smirky laugh Cristina had just snorted out threw gasoline on her fire. Meredith scowled, smacking the table with her hands again. "Feel better?" Cristina asked, her voice full of amusement.

Meredith's scowl darkened. "Not really. I'm just so sick of…" She stopped. What was the use? She could ask people to stop talking about her, it wouldn't do any good. If she had just been some random intern they wouldn't care. But no. She had to have Ellis Fucking Grey for a mother. Like having Ellis for a mother was some big accomplishment or something to be proud of. If they all thought she was so wonderful they could have her.

"Of what? What are you sick of? People talking about you? Sorry, but I don't think there's a cure for that. Besides, you haven't led the chaste life of the pure, and you were found naked…in a bed…with a known man whore."

"Not you to," Meredith groaned. She had expected some sympathy from Cristina. Some sign that she had at least one person in her court.

"Who you shag is your business. The only time it becomes mine is when it is just so phenomenally good you have to share details so that I can hate you for having an orgasm while I'm stuck get my jollies all by my lonesome." Cristina made a face.

"I'm not getting any, phenomenal or otherwise…" She was cut off by the vibrations of her pager. Grimacing, she checked it. When she looked up she noticed Cristina checking her's as well. "Third floor nurses station. You?"

"ICU. Bet that old guy we did the valve replacement on decided to croak." Cristina stood up, stretching a bit. They weaved through the maze of tables toward the elevator at the far end of the cafeteria. Once inside, Cristina leaned against the back wall. "Okay, so if McSteamy didn't make you open up and say ah, what was he doing in your bed…with you…naked?"

"You're not going to let it go, are you?" Meredith knew better than to even ask. This was Cristina. Her person.

"Would you let it go?"

She had a point. Meredith sighed. "Okay. Fine."

_The regulars had left, leaving Meredith to sit by her lonesome, stewing over the fact that she was, once again, alone. Cristina had Burke; George had Callie; and whether she admitted it or not, Izzie had Alex. _

_She reaches over the bar, wrapping her fingers around the neck of the tequila bottle. "Just gonna help myself," she calls to Joe who was on the other end attempting to sooth a disgruntled customer. The amber liquid splashes over the shot glass onto the scarred wooden bar as her shaky hand attempts to pour it. _

"_Need some help there, Grey," a familiar voice rumbled in her ear. Mark's hand cover's her's and helps her to pour the shot. It was the first of many shots. To many to remember. Joe had ordered them out around 4 a.m. when he was done cleaning the place. She wasn't sure who suggested going back to her place, him or her. His hands and mouth had just felt so good on her body. _

"Wait. I thought you said you didn't have sex with him," Cristina cut in.

"I didn't!" Meredith affirmed.

"Strange. I'm not sure I believe you at this point," Cristina sniffed.

Meredith shrugged. "Fine. Don't believe me. See if I care. I'm not going to tell the rest of my story to someone who doesn't believe me though!" She raised her a chin a bit, stepping out of the elevator the moment the doors opened.

ooooooooo

This wasn't the best day for Bailey to throw anything heavy at him. His mind was boggled down with Izzie, the pregnancy, and this smidgeon of doubt that the baby was even his. Yeah, so Duquette had been hooked up to machines and on a lot of medications known to make it hard to perform sexually, but that didn't mean something hadn't happened. Except, Izzie wouldn't have told him the baby was his if it wasn't. Would she?

Alex fought the urge to groan. Instead, he clenched his jaw, following behind Bailey like a lost puppy. Hell, right now he was a lost puppy. No matter what way he looked at it, whether the baby was his or not, Izzie had made it clear she was counting on him. She might not have come out and said that, but he had seen it in her eyes. That begging for him to make it okay. Not for the first time he wondered if she even realized she did that.

"This man came in," Bailey said as she stopped outside a conference room. A man was inside, drumming his fingers on the table. "He says he's your father."

A gut wrenching anger burned through Alex's veins. He had thought he was past the sort of rage he felt welling up, but standing there, staring at the man who had made his life a nightmare, he can feel it threatening to over come.

"Alexander," Daniel Karev said breathlessly. He stood up, his green eyes blood shot.

"I don't know this man," Alex said a moment later. There was no way in hell he was letting Daniel Karev and all his horridness back into his life.

Bailey looked at him, searching his face. It was clear that she knew something wasn't right. She didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer the information. She gave him a slight nod, then looked toward Daniel. "I'm sorry sir, but I think it best that you leave." There was no room for argument in her tone.

Daniel nodded. He reached into his pocket, pulling a small piece of paper out. As he passed by he slipped it into the pocket of Alex's scrub top. "I'll be here for a week."

Not saying a word, Alex watched as his father slowly walked down the hallway. "Wanna tell me why you lied about him being your father?" Bailey demanded.

Alex looked at her. "I don't have a father," he answered coldly.

ooooooooo

The walk down the hall started out quietly enough, no begging for the rest of the story, no dirty looks for not giving it. Just quiet. It was more than Meredith could take. "It was good. At first. He does this thing…with his tongue…anyways. That isn't the point. The point is, it was getting really good and then…."

"_I've missed you," he breathed into her ear. Missed her? Meredith frowned for a moment then let it go when he covers one breast with his mouth. She buries her fingers in his hair, biting her lip to keep from moaning aloud. Izzie's door had been ajar when they had snuck past. "God, Addie, I missed you so much." _

_Addie? Meredith pulls back. Even in her drunken haze something didn't sit right. "Did you just call me Addie?" _

_Surprise creased Mark's face. "I…Did I?" She nods, crossing her arms over her bare breasts. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, pulling her close again. He gently kisses her mouth. Her lips part, allowing his tongue access. She finds the buckles of his belt, fumbling with a bit. She tugs it loose, tossing it aside. He breaks the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head and to shove his pants, as well as his boxers off. Traveling the length of his body, her eyes widen a bit. The man was a God. His body practically perfect in everyway. She giggles slightly when he tosses her back on the bed. She grabs his hips, tugging his body down on top of her's. They both gasp when the bottom left half of the box spring creaks then lets out a loud thump as it hit's the floor._

"Wait. He called you Addie? And you still got naked with him?" Cristina hissed.

Meredith groaned. "I know, okay. I know. And…I'm not exactly certain that happened, okay? Now, can I finish this? Before you have to deal with maybe dead valve replacement guy and I have to deal with Nurse Debbie and her brigade of nosey nurses?"

_They lay there for a moment. Meredith shrugged, then inched her way toward the upper portion of her bed. He followed a grin on his face. His mouth once again covered her's. She closed her eyes, relishing the feel of his body close to her's, of his hand cupping her breast. "Derek," she whimpered. Her eyes fly open. She clapped a hand over her mouth. _

"_This is a mistake," Mark groaned, moving away from her. He flops back next to her. The weight causing the other half of the box spring to break, another resounding thump echoing through the room._

"And that is when everyone walked in. So, you see. I did not have sex with McSteamy, and I wasn't going to. Okay, maybe at first I was, but then I realized I'm not over Derek. And sleeping with someone else is just…why are you laughing?" Meredith's neck snapped in the direction of Cristina.

"I think I just peed myself," Cristina gasped, still chuckling.

Meredith scowled. "It's not funny."

"Oh please. That has got to be the funniest thing since…well…since George fell down the stairs!"


	4. A Couple Truths

_Everyday we wake up. How our day is going to go depends on exactly how we are woke up, and our mood when we climb from that warm nest of covers. If the sun is shining, metaphorically speaking, then everything is just hunky dory_.

Today was going to be a good day. There was no real reason for it. It was just a feeling she had. Meredith had learned to go with her feelings. Feelings were usually right.

Smiling, she flings the thick maroon damask comforter from her slender body. Her bare feet hit the floor with a soft thud. Today was a day to do nothing. Unless she counted the visit to the dentist. Her nose wrinkled. She wouldn't let something like a root canal ruin her day. Nothing was going to ruin this day.

Humming slightly Meredith tugs her Dartmouth shirt off, tossing it over her shoulder. It landed in the middle of her bed. The dark green boxer shorts she had worn with it soon land a few inches away. She giggles slightly when she looks down after donning a bra. It actually matched her bronze colored boy cut panties. She tugs a dark brown ballet necked top on, then shimmied into a pair of dark washed blue jeans.

_However, if the clouds are hanging low, then you can just kiss a good day bye. It just isn't going to happen. Not with that dark cloud over head._

Faded a pale blue, some spots worn to a white and bordering on thread bare, they were her favorite pair of jeans. She had worn them for her first modeling shoot, paired with a sexy white halter top. Izzie loved those jeans. They fit her body like they were made for her. Or, rather, they had.

Frowning, Izzie tries once more to button the low rise jeans. An inch separated the metal button and the slender hole it was suppose to go it. She sucks in her stomach, her chest burning from the lack of oxygen. It only bought her half an inch. Not nearly enough.

Not one to be discouraged, she lays back on her bed. A smile starts to form when she able to get the zipper up. If the metal cut into her skin just a bit, well she could live with that. The smile fades when the button is still unable to reach the hole. Letting out a small shriek she bolts off the bed, shoving the jeans down her hips. Once free of them she kicks them across the room.

_Dark clouds, and the people they are following, should come with a warning. _

The denim smacked against his leg. Glancing down, Alex finds a pair of faded blue jeans laying at his feet. A yard or so away Izzie stood wearing a yellow t shirt and a pair of green panties. He couldn't help staring at the small rounding of her stomach. It wasn't much, if a person didn't know any better they would simply assume Izzie had a bit of a gut. He knew better though.

"You okay?" Her response was to chunk a flip flop at him. The blue plastic and foam shoe hit his chest then fell to the floor. "What was that for?"

"Nothing fits!" Her dark eyes shimmered with tears. He couldn't help it, Alex let's gaze travel over her body. Aside from the small pudge he couldn't see where her body had changed any. "I'm fat. Fat. Fat. Fat."

"You're not fat." This was not how he wanted to start the day. He had stopped by her room to see if she was feeling okay. He had heard her in the bathroom, paying tribute to the porcelain god. "And, isn't that suppose to happen? The clothes not fitting thing?"

_Something to let the rest of the world know that there is a dark cloud and grouchy person en route. _

"No. Yes. No. Yes. Maybe. Yes. Damn it. This is your fault!" Izzie scowls. It was all Alex's fault. There had been a moment last night when she had thought about giving him a get out of jail free card. He had asked if the baby was his. It had been on the tip of her tongue to lie, to tell him the baby belonged to Denny. When it had come right down to it, she couldn't do it. She couldn't bring herself to lie. Not to Alex. Especially not when he was trying to be a good guy. He had had the right to ask, given their history and the way they had broken up. Once she had said yes, once she had admitted the baby was his, there had been no going back.

"My fault? You're blaming me because your pants don't fit?" He leans against her dresser, arms crossed and a bemused smirk on his face.

"My pants don't fit because I'm getting fat. With your baby. So, yes, I'm blaming you!" A dam of tears she had been holding back starts to seep. One, then two, slip down her cheeks.

_Because, let's face it, there is nothing worse than having some dark cloud person ruining our bright and shiny day. _

"It's not my fault you're pregnant," Alex grumbles. That wasn't entirely true. He was partially to blame. He wasn't in a charitable mood though. Not after having a shoe smack him in the chest. " 'Oh Alex, it's fine that you don't have a condom, I'm on the pill.' Does that ring any bells?"

Her eyes narrow. Damn. He shouldn't have brought that up. "Are you saying I got myself pregnant?" Her lips press together in a thin white line. She bends down, her hair a golden curtain shielding her expression from view. When she straightens her body there is a maroon ballet flat in her hand. He dodges to the left as the shoe flies through the air towards him.

_And they do ruin it._

Something hard hits her in the thigh. Meredith lets out a small yelp. She grabs up the object. A rather cute ballet flat in a dark maroon color with brown piping around the edge. "Everything okay?"

"No," Izzie sobs. "I'm not okay. I'm pregnant, which apparently I got that way all on my own. Which I thought that was physically impossible. But hey, what do I know? The man I loved and thought I was going to marry died. Because of me. I have no job. My mom keeps calling me. Wanting money. Which I don't have!" The last bit came out as a small wail. A high pitched one at that. "And, none of my clothes fit!" Meredith's gaze met Alex's. Poor guy. He was in for one bumpy ride the rest of this pregnancy. He shrugs, then starts to step around her. He doesn't get far. "Don't you dare walk out of that door Alex Karev!" The mate to the shoe held in Meredith's hand sails through the air.

"These are cute," Meredith muses, reaching out to catch the shoe before it could hit anyone. Balancing herself with one hand on the door jam, she slips one, then the other, shoe on. A tad bit big, but they still looked nice. Almost a perfect match for the top she wore. "Izzie, you're not fat. You're pregnant. Which," she look pointedly at Alex, "you didn't do on your own. As for the job, well…I don't know about the job thing. Sorry. And stop answering the phone when you see your mom's number come up. You know that she's just going to upset you. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date." She frowns when she notices the looks on their faces. "With a dentist. To get a root canal."

"Whatever you say," Alex winks. Meredith gives a disgusted grunt, then waves them both off as she hurries down the stairs.

[i]Sometimes, for the sake of the rest of the world, we have to take one for the team. [/i]

Pulling his phone from his back pocket, Alex dials a familiar number. "What are you doing?" Izzie snaps.

"Calling in," he answers, not looking up.

"Why?" There was suspicion in her voice.

"So you don't have to be alone," Alex replies. A moment later his back is to her as he talks to a nurse.

ooooooo

The arms were all around. Fingers outstretched, as though they were reaching for him, waiting for the perfect moment to grab. George shifts uneasily on the mattress, gulping a bit. Callie lived here. Here. With the creepy hands reaching out to grab. "Hey, Callie, I was thinking, maybe we could go look at some apartments sometime. Maybe tomorrow?"

An odd look wrinkles up Callie's face. "Why?" George shrugs, toying with the cording around the hot pink and black comforter that was spread across the mattress and box springs. How the hell she had gotten them in, along with the television set, he hadn't a clue. "Are you asking me to move in with you?" Her large dark eyes widen a bit, she scoots closer. He gulps again. Moving in together was the farthest thing from his mind. "If you are, I would be cool with that. I would totally say yes." Oh hell. He had really backed himself into a corner this time. "And, if you're not, I'm cool with that too."

Thank God. He hopes his relief doesn't show on his face. "Actually, I was thinking maybe you would like something….more spacious. More visitor friendly. More…legal."

The odd look is back. "I'm fine here." Callie lays back on the bed, one leg hanging off the edge of the bed.

George sighs. He should have known this was how she would react, as though it was perfectly fine for her to be living in the prosthetics room. It was only a matter of time before she was caught. He was a bit shocked that she hadn't been already. "Why? Why here?" He was treading on thin ice. He couldn't help asking though. He had to know. He needed to know. If he was going to commit to this relationship, invest time and emotion into it, then he had the right to ask and be answered.

"I don't know. It's convenient." Callie frowns, twisting one dark curl around her finger. "Plus, I like it."

How the hell could she like it? There were creepy arms and legs all over the place. "I just…Why?"

"I just told you. I like it. It's convenient. I have everything I need, plus I am close to work." A small chuckle brings a smile to her face.

"Don't you want to invite people over?" This conversation was pointless. She wasn't going to answer his questions with anything other than she liked it and it was convenient.

"Who would I invite over? The only friends I have are your friends. I see them when I go to your house." Callie sat up, facing him.

"What about your parents?" He persisted. Something had to get her to answer.

Her face closed up. Her jaw tightened. "My parents won't be coming see me. Ever."

oooooo

Dentists were evil. They were nothing more than evil bastards who shouldn't be allowed to lure unsuspecting patients in by telling them minimal pain. Minimal pain her ass. Her whole mouth hurt.

Slamming her locker shut, Meredith hurriedly changed into her scrubs. This wasn't how her afternoon was suppose to go. Root canal, followed by a visit with Ellis. Then home to nurse her throbbing mouth. Instead, she was changing into scrubs. All because of Izzie's baby fat freak out. Bailey had left a rather snide message saying she needed to get her ass in ASAP to cover for Alex.

"You're drooling." She looks up to find Cristina leaning against the locker next to her's. "Like a Saint Bernard. You have it running down your chin. You did know that right?"

Hell yes she knew. She didn't need, nor did she want, anyone pointing that out to her. "Eave me awone."

Cristina stares at her for a moment before chuckling. "Oh Lord." The chuckle turns into a full blown laugh.

"Sheet oop." Meredith growled, sucking in a bit of spittle that was making its way past her lips. This was ridiculous. She felt like a moron.

"Sorry." Cristina cleared her throat, making an attempt to compose herself. "Can you say Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers?" She burst into laughter once more.

Sucking in a bit more spittle, Meredith narrows her eyes. She realized she was funny sounding, maybe even funny looking with her cotton packed cheek, but still. "You dink you awre dust so funny don't you?" It wasn't much better, but it was an improvement. At least most of what she had said had made sense.

Lifting one shoulder, Cristina smirks. "I know I am." She moves away from the locker. "By the way, little heads up, the She Shepherd knows about your non-fling with McSteamy."

Meredith groans. Could this day get any worse? This was Izzie's fault. Izzie with her early morning bad mood. Bad Karma vibes. "Great." She digs the cotton loose from her cheek, grimacing. It was gummy with spots of blood. Lovely. She flicks it into the trash can but not before she debated on tossing at it Cristina. The moment the bit of nastiness leaves her fingertips her cell phone lets out a peal. "Hello?" A scowl mars her face when the director of Ellis' home snaps out a return salutation. "What? No. I had a root canal done." Her eyes close. "I can't. I know that I said I would. I just…can't. I got called into work." Her eyes fly open, she stares at Cristina, making a face. "I can't! I just told you. I got called into work. No, I don't think my job is more important than my mother. Look, she would understand. If she was lucid, she would…I know that!" Her mellow temper was starting to flare. Nobody, especially not some stuck up bitch like Mrs. Smythe, was going to tell her how to care for mother. "What are you talking about? I don't break my promises. I don't make promises." She was close to screaming. Cristina raised one brow. "Oh yeah, well you do that!" Not bothering with a goodbye she snaps the phone shut. "That bitch!"

ooooooo

Things had not gone well after his little series of why's. Callie had clammed up, asked him to leave. He had honored the request. It wasn't like he had much of a choice. Not unless he wanted to sit there with her glaring at him and those damn limbs reaching. He did the only sensible thing. He left. Physically. Mentally, his mind refused to let the subject go. There was something not right. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but he had a feeling, and his feelings were usually right.

Sighing, George scrubs a hand down his face. When his hand falls away he spots Callie walking ahead of him. "Callie." He calls her name. She doesn't stop or acknowledge that she heard him. Damn. She moved fast. "Callie will you please wait up!" He breaks into a slow job, gaining on her. "Can we talk?"

"Why? So you grill me again?" She stops, grabbing his arm. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm happy here? That maybe, just maybe, as wrong as it is, I like where I live? Oh, and the reason I don't have my parents over…we don't talk. We haven't talked in a long time. I don't like discussing it, so please…stop asking me why. Can you do that George?"

George hesitates. "I just want to understand." She stares at him, shaking her head, then walks off, her pace quicker this time than before. Yet again he is forced to jog after her. "Callie I just want to understand. Is that too much to ask?"

"I've explained my reasons. It's not my job to make you understand something you don't want to understand!" Callie snaps, her dark eyes flashing. The look she sent his way left no room for further discussion. He stops in the middle of the hallway, staring after her.

oooooooo

Sunlight filtered through the open kitchen windows, catching in Izzie's hair and turning it a into liquid gold. Her face still held a rather childish sulk. Sulking was better than screaming though, Alex supposed. Nothing in her closet had fit. While he couldn't see any changes, aside from slightly fuller breasts and a thickening of her waist, she has apparently put on enough weight to put her in a bit of a bide clothing wise. The light gray t shirt and black sweat pants she wore had come from his dresser drawer. For some reason the soft cotton material of the shirt emphasized the gentle swell of her belly. It was barely there, just enough to be noticed. It scared the shit out of him. In medical school there had been a close call when his ex had come up pregnant, but they had both made the choice not to have the baby.

The sound of an egg cracking against the counter draws his attention away a stomach that would only keep growing as the life inside grew. They hadn't really discussed the baby much. Instead, they had talked about things they felt the other should know. It had blown him away, learning about Hannah. He was still digesting that bit of information. He had traded tit for tat though, letting the whole ugly truth of his parents come spilling out. Including the bit about his father showing up.

"So, did you call him?" Several drawers scrape open. A moment later Izzie is whisking the eggs into a yellow froth.

"Called who?" He knew exactly who she was referring to. His father. They had talked about whether or not he should call. She had been in favor of it, had said it might help him heal. He didn't need to heal. He just needed the old man to stay out of his life.

Izzie glances up at him, her dark eyes staring at him intently. "You know who. You're dad."

Alex sighs, propping his head up in his hands. "I'm not going to call him." There is a bit more banging around, then the sound of cast iron clanging against the stove top.

"Why not?" The sizzle of eggs frying fills the room.

"Do you really have to ask that?" Alex frowns.

Shrugging, Izzie stirs the slowly cooking eggs. "Maybe he's changed. Maybe that's why he came to find you. Maybe he wants to make up for…"

The old anger was welling up. The anger that was attributed to his father. "He can't make up for what he did Izzie! He made my mother's life hell. He made my sisters and me feel like we were nothing. He is a worthless drugged out drunk. He always has been, and he always will be."

"Alex…" He looks away from the sad look she gives him. He didn't want or need her pity. He didn't want or need to see or talk to his father. Ever.

ooooooo

It was pathetic, the way she was scurrying around the hospital. Hiding in doorways, pausing beside plants, avoiding elevators. Meredith mutters a curse under her breath. She really did not need this today. It was Izzie's dark cloud. It had infected her. First with the painful root canal, then the horrid call from the bitch Mrs. Smythe, and now, this, hiding from Addison. She pops her head around a corner. Nothing. She lets out a sigh of relief.

"Dr. Grey."

Her body stiffens. Forcing a smile, Meredith turns to face Addison. "Dr. Montgomery Shepherd."

Addison smiles. Meredith forces her own smile to widen. "I was just looking for you." Great. Just great. "How about we step into my office."

"Do I have a choice?" Meredith asked, shifting around nervously. Her tongue darts out to run across her lips. This was not going to go well.

"No. Not really," Addison responded smoothly. Meredith grudgingly follows behind the taller woman, hating the fabulous black pencil skirt and the mary jane style stilettos. She herself could never pull them off. She always fell over. "After you," Addison holds the door to her office open, waiting for Meredith to pass through first. When the door closed, Meredith jumped. She now knew what a caged animal felt like. No. She now knew what the meal for the caged animal felt like. "So, did he?"

Meredith blinks. "He? Who?"

Nails tap against the smooth wood of the desk. "Don't play coy with me Meredith. We both know which he I am referring to."

Sighing, Meredith nods. "Yeah. Okay. See, I do know who you're referring to, it's just…I'm not sure…well…that is…Things are a bit fuzzy." This whole conversation sucked. It sucked the big one. Taking a deep breath, she lets it out slowly. "Okay. Fine. He called me your name. Happy?" She doesn't bother to wait for Addison's response. Turning on her heel she hurries from the office.

ooooooo

Frustration and George O'Malley were starting to become the best of friends. This day, mostly because of Callie, had been all about cementing his relationship with good ole frustration. Gritting his teeth, he weaves his way through the maze of tables and chairs that crowded the lunch room. His fingers gripped the edge of a tray laden with French fries, a chocolate shake, and some chicken strips. With the way heart and cholesterol problems ran in his family he should have taken the salad.

The tray makes a smacking noise as he slams it down on the table where Cristina and Meredith are sat. Both looked as though frustration was their new best friend as well. "Where have you guys been all day?" This was the first he had seen of either. He could have used a bit of back up when Bailey had sentenced him to the Pit. Nothing but crabby babies, deaf grandmas, and whiny construction workers.

Cristina leans her head back, dropping a grape into her open mouth. There is a smirk on her face when she straightens her neck and looks at him. "Wouldn't you like to know." Her mouth opens, another grape sails into it.

He plops into a chair, squeezing a liberal amount of ketchup over his fries. "Yes. Yes I would. It has to be better than what I've been doing. Which is pissing Callie off and listening to smelly old ladies complain about their wheezing cats. Do I look like a Vet? Don't answer that!"

"It was to easy," Meredith muttered.

"The worse part of it all is I don't remember why I pissed Callie off. I know what pissed her off, but I can't remember why." He stuffs a dripping fry into his mouth, chewing profusely.

Holding up a hand, Cristina grimaces. "Do I look like Dear Abby? No. So save the sob story for someone who actually cares. Like Meredith."

"What?" Meredith's head jerked ups. She had a startled look on her face, as though she was just now becoming aware that a conversation had been going on. True, she had inserted her little snide remark about it being to easy. Aside from that she had seemed intent on picking imaginary lint from her scrub top.

"I was just telling Cristina about my bad day," George grumbles.

Meredith scowls. "Oh George. Seriously. You haven't had a bad day. Not compared to mine. I've had shoes thrown at me." Cristina and George look at her. "Don't ask! I've had a root canal. Which wasn't suppose to hurt, but like most men my dentist is a lying bastard. And, to top it all off the director of the home my mother is in thinks I am an unfit guardian."

She was right. Compared to her day, his was a walk in the park.

oooooo

Despite their history, or perhaps because of it, Izzie's heart strings were being yanked. The misery on Alex's face was enough to break her heart. She sets a plate of scrambled eggs and thickly buttered toast in front of him. Pulling out the chair next to his, she sits down. "You have to let it go, Alex."

"No, actually I don't." The dark look he sends her way warns her to let it drop. She can't. In less than six months they would be parents. The baby gave her a reason to care what happened to him.

"You need to. If not for yourself, then you need to do it for our baby." Impulsively she reaches for his hand, laying the palm across the small bulge under the t shirt he had loaned her. "You're going to be a father…" He yanks his hand away.

"If being a father means forgiving that bastard, then maybe I'm just not cut out to be one," he snaps.

It felt like a slap in the face. Izzie stared at him, not bothering to hide the hurt that shone in her eyes. "You don't mean that." He couldn't mean that. He couldn't. She needed him. Their child needed him. She could raise this child alone, but she didn't want to. She knew what it was like to grow up without a father, it wasn't fun. She didn't want that for her child. Especially not when their father was someone with the potential to be a wonderful father. "You don't mean that," she repeated.

"I'm not that guy, Iz." Alex's voice was low, pinched sounding.

"You're not that guy?" Izzie snorts. "Alex, if you weren't that guy you wouldn't be here. The moment you heard the words 'I'm pregnant' you would have ran. You didn't. You stayed. Whether you like it or not, you're that guy." Plucking half of a piece of toast from his plate she takes a small bite. Food was still an issue with her in the morning. It was gradually getting it better; she still couldn't eat anything before noon though. "You know what I think, I think you're going to be an amazing father."

Alex lifts a brow, staring at her. It was hard to read his expression; there was nothing there. "Iz.."

"I'm serious. You're going to be a great father!" She had never noticed his insecurities before. She had never looked passed the easy going grin and smart ass comments to see that it was a façade. Scooting her chair closer to his, she presses a soft kiss to his cheek. She draws back, a partial smile on her lips. He stares at her intently, his light brown eyes searching for something. He seemed to find it, a certainty shining in his gaze. His face loomed closer, closer still until his mouth captured her's in a kiss.

oooooo

Meredith shifts around in her seat, uncomfortable with the stares George and Cristina were sending her way. She should have kept her mouth shut. This wasn't their problem. It was also something she didn't particularly want spread around.

"How the hell are you unfit?" Cristina frowns, crossing her arms.

Slouching in her chair, Meredith shrugs. She wasn't exactly sure on the answer to that question herself. She tried her hardest. What more did they want? "I don't know. Mrs. Smythe says I make promises that I know I can't keep." She shakes her head. She never made promises. She only ever said she would try. What more did they want? "She claims that I have no interest in my mother's care or how she is progressing. In short, I'm an unfit caretaker."

A burst of laughter from Cristina startles her. "Seriously? That's just…She doesn't even live with you. How the hell can you be an unfit caretaker of someone who doesn't live with you?"

Excellent point. Meredith wondered that very thing herself. "I have no idea. All I know is that I've got enough going on without some woman who doesn't even know me telling me what a horrible person I am."

"You're not a horrible person, Meredith. If anyone's horrible it's Ellis. If you're a bad caretaker it's only because she was such a horrible mother." George said. Meredith stares at him, stunned. Next to her Cristina stares as well, a bemused look on her face.

ooooooo

Mark had called Meredith by her name. It shouldn't have brought a smile to her face, yet as Addison exits Seattle Grace Hospital she has a rather large, and somewhat silly, grin on her face. A blast of damp air hits her in the face as she makes her way across the parking lot. Not even that is enough to sway the smile from her lips. The smile brightens a tad bit more when she finds Mark leaning against the side of her car. She shouldn't be happy to see him, yet she is. Blame it on loneliness, the divorce, or whatever. She was just glad to see someone who didn't call her Satan or whisper that she was the ruiner of Meredith Grey's life.

He pushes his long, lean body away from the car. "Addie." That was all it took. Just him saying her name in that husky bedroom voice. It was all she could do to keep a straight face as she said his name in return. "So, I hear you have an apartment now. All by your lonesome."

Ha. Showed what he knew. She wasn't all by her lonesome. She lifts her shoulders in a delicate shrug. "I'm not alone." It was worth it. Saying those words out loud, seeing the look on his face. "I have a cat."

He snickered. "You have a cat? You?"

Addison crosses her arms. "Yes. I have a cat. I'm rather fond of her. Besides, I got use to having a pet when…well I'm sure you know all about the dog arrangement…seeing how you and Meredith are such good friends. Tell me Mark, are you going to be a gentleman and buy her a new bed?" It was low, she had no call to say it, yet she wanted him to know that she knew all about his little tryst with Meredith. The stunned silence and the flabbergasted look on his face was priceless. She puckers her lips, sending him a silent air kiss before opening the door to her car. The grin from before returns as she pulls out of the parking lot.

Ooooooo

_Dark clouds are a bit like an airborne virus. They pass from one person to the next. Infecting everyone with the nastiness._

George's words seem to follow her the rest of day. Was she really only offering Ellis the same sort of care Ellis had given her? She hoped not. Sighing, Meredith pushed open the doors leading out to the parking lot. If she hurried she would be able to avoid Derek. They would have to talk eventually. Just not today. Not with Izzie's dark cloud following her. This was suppose to be a good day damn it. She had woken up in a decent mood, had planned on having a good day, and then the dark cloud had to taint her. It was just as well, she wasn't a bright and shiny person anyways.

Glancing around, she makes a mad dash for her Jeep. Thankfully she is able to make it across the parking lot unseen. She doesn't let out the breath she is holding until she is pulling out into traffic. She would talk to Derek. Eventually. Just not today. Not when she was infected with Izzie's black cloud nastiness.

_There is no way to really avoid the infection. It just inhabits and takes over._

Kissing Izzie had been a mistake. He wasn't even certain why he did it. She had just been there, so sweet, so close. It had felt a bit like old times. Except this wasn't old times. Alex couldn't pretend they were either. It wasn't fair. Not to Izzie. Not to himself. And, he hesitates a bit, not to the baby.

The baby. God. He wasn't ready for one. He wasn't sure he even wanted one. Did he have a choice though? Not really. Scowling, Alex slams the door to his room shut, leaning against it. His old man had gotten one thing right. He was nothing but a fuck up.

_And no matter how hard you try to stop it, you can't. _

It shouldn't bother her. She shouldn't care. It was a kiss. One simple kiss. It meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. Oh, who was she kidding? The moment his lips had touched her's it was as though someone had sent an electric jolt through her body. Damn him.

Closing her eyes, Izzie settles back in the tub, letting the water cover a body she was starting to no longer recognize. She let's her hands drift over her stomach. The small, hard swelling reminds her that it is no longer just her body, her life. Tears burn her eyes. What sort of mother would she be? She couldn't even manage her own life.

_You just have to weather out the storm, let the dark cloud pass. _


	5. Life Is Unpredictable

_Life is unpredictable. We never know where each day is going to take us. Who we're going to meet. _

If there was one thing Addison would never grow accustomed to it was the nippy morning air. Manhattan had had it's cool starts, but nothing like the almost frigid air of Seattle. Rubbing her arms, she climbs from her car. Across the parking lot she can see Mark slamming his car door shut. When he notices her staring he smiles and winks. She shakes her head in disgust and hurries inside. Alone, which was the story of his life anymore.

_And, once we've met someone, there is no telling how they're going to affect our lives. That alone is enough to make you look at everyone with a new perspective._

Sipping the too hot coffee Cristina stares at Burke from across the glass topped table. As usual he was reading over the newspaper. He was a creature of habit, Burke.

_Like, is the man on the ferryboat Mr. Right? _

Today was a stay at home in bed day. She was a bit late in realizing that though. Dr. Bailey had already eyed her and Derek was parked two cars over. Waiting. Meredith knew exactly what he was waiting on, too. He was waiting on her. He could pretend to be reading over some file all he wanted but she knew that the moment her car door opened his would as well.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith opens her door. Gingerly, she scoots out of the Jeep and quietly shuts the door. Not bothering to check if Derek had left his vehicle she sprints across the parking lot.

_Or is he Mr. Wrong Timing? Cause, let's face it, we're not always in a place that we're able to take on Mr. Right. _

Watching the car back out of the driveway was hard. He had to do it though. If there was one thing Alex had learned it was once Izzie made up her mind there was no changing it. It didn't matter whether or not she was in the right, or if what she was doing was going to turn out bad. Izzie never stopped to think. Nor did she share her reasoning's on why she did the things she did.

Shaking his head, Alex moves away from the window. There was no point in spending the day dwelling on Izzie. She was never going to listen to him. As far as she was concerned, the only place he had in her life was as the father of a child neither of them had planned on.

_What happens when the timing is right? And how do we know?[_

There was something peaceful about a memorial garden. Each plant, each bench, even a few of the animals, had all be donated in the name of someone that had been greatly loved. Take the small curved bench Izzie seated on. A small plaque said it was in loving memory of Cecelia Alistair, loving wife and mother; donated by her husband Earl and her children Emily, Johanna, and Greg. As nice as the bench was, it held little meaning for her. The tree it was next to was another matter. The small dogwood was the Duquette's tribute to Denny. They had thoughtfully included her name on the plaque as a contributor to the donation.

Lifting a slender hand, she gingerly touches one of the almost bare branches. In the spring it would be in full bloom, covered in pale blossoms. He would have loved that, she thought sadly, he would have loved seeing the flowers bloom. Choking back a sob, she tries to get her turbulent emotions in check. She wanted to blame it on pregnancy hormones, except she couldn't. It was her own guilt eating at her. Guilt for not coming here in weeks. Guilt for letting Alex kiss her.

The kiss. That was the real issue. She should have pushed him away. Except she hadn't. On some level she had wanted that kiss. It had been so long since someone had held her, since someone had gently teased her lips with their own. Ironic, Alex had been the last.

"Hey Denny. It's me. Izzie." She smiles sadly, staring down at the little plaque. "I guess you know that, though. I'm sorry that I haven't been coming as often. A lot's happened." One hand flutters to her slightly rounded stomach. It seemed to grow a bit more each day. She still hadn't felt the baby move, though. "I'm going to have a baby. Or well, Alex and I are going to have a baby." Her brow wrinkles. Was this normal? Coming to the memorial of her dead fiance and talking about a baby she was going to have with another man. She wasn't sure what normal was anymore. Her life had been anything but normal. There should be no guilt in telling Denny about a child that would have been part of his life had he lived. "It's kind of weird. Not a bad weird, just weird. I always thought that the next time I would married and the baby would be planned." She glances around, assuring herself that she was alone. Aside from Alex and the one patient she had never spoken about Hannah since giving her up. She would have eventually told Denny, she just never got the chance. And now, when she was about to, in an odd sort of way, she wanted it to be between the two of them. "I never got to tell you about my little girl. I wanted to. I almost did a couple times. I know you would have understood. I was really young when I had her. To young. And the circumstances…I…well…they weren't good one's. I did the right thing. Giving her up. I don't regret it. I just…I kept help but wonder if one day, when she comes to find me, if she's going to understand. You know, about me giving her up but keeping this baby. How do I explain? How do I tell her that I couldn't be her mother but I could be this baby's mother?" She doesn't bother to hold back the sob any longer. She lets it slip out, let's the tears that had been welling her eyes pour free.

oooooo

She was almost home free. Meredith pants a bit as she darts across the hospital lobby, heading straight for the elevator. There was no line. With any luck she could reach it, press the button, and have the doors close before Derek caught up with her. She was certain he was behind her. She had heard his car door slam as soon as she had taken off across the parking lot.

Fingers shaking, Meredith presses the up button over and over again. She lets out a small cry of relief when the doors slide open almost immediately. Smiling in triumph she steps inside the small enclosed area. No sooner had her finger pushed the third floor button when Derek came stumbling aboard, out of breath and red faced. "This is my elevator. Go find your own!"

"This is a public elevator, Meredith," Derek gasped, leaning one hand against the wall, trying to catch his breath. When she would have slide through the closing doors, leaving him to enjoy the ride alone, he grabbed her arm. "No more running."

Yanking her arm away, Meredith glares at him. "I'm not running. Okay, I was running. Only because I don't want to talk to you."

"Tough. We're going to talk." He reaches behind her, pressing the red stop button. The elevator car lurches to a stop, throwing them both off balance. Once she untangles herself from his arm, she situates herself in front of the control panel.

"We have nothing to talk about," Meredith snapped, pushing the start button. She sighs in relief once the car starts moving again. She really should have just taken the stares. Derek Shepherd and elevators were a bad idea. Turning to face him, she mask her face into a stoic expression. "You turned me into a dirty mistress. Then you acted like it was no big deal. And, when I asked you pick me, you picked her. Now, because of some stupid piece of paper you should have signed months ago I'm suppose to just…what? Forgive you? I don't think so, Mr. Sexy Hair and come hither looks. I'm onto your game and I'm not playing!" So there.

"You think my hair is sexy?" She shoots him a hard look. "Will you at least let me explain?"

When he would have touched her arm she brushes him aside, moving to the opposite side as he. "No. No more of your…explanations. I'm done listening to you try and charm me out of my panties. I'm done with your McDreamy looks. I'm done with you!"

"Fine. Be hard headed." Derek smirks, then pushes the stop button once more. "I am going to explain though."

"I don't want your explanations!" Meredith cried, stomping the three steps from her corner to the button panel. Her finger jabs the start button again. "I'm going to be late. Bailey hates when we're late, and I'm not going to spend the day with my fingers up peoples asses just because you suddenly have the urge to explain."

"I'm Bailey's boss. I tell her no rectal's for Dr. Grey and she will have to comply." He smiles that teasing smile. The one that always turned her stomach inside out. Now was no different. "You are going to hear me out. If for no other reason than I'm your boss as well, and I'm ordering you to hear me out."

"You're ordering me?" The gall of the man. He really was an ass. A cute ass, but an ass. She groans when he pushes the stop button again. "Will you stop doing that!"

"No," Derek responds back, a little to cheery. "We're going to talk."

Narrowing her eyes, Meredith presses her lips together. "I told you. We're done. That means no talking. None." Shoving past him, she pushes the start button. Nothing happened. She punches it again. Still nothing. Punching it several times in a row, she sends up a silent plea to the elevator gods. Nothing. "Great. Just great. You broke the elevator. Do you know what this means?"

A lock of dark hair falls over one sky blue eye as he smiles smugly. "Yes. It means we're going to have plenty of time to talk."

oooooooooo

Wiping at the tears that had dampened her face, Izzie let's out a ragged breath. It had been a while since she had let herself cry like that. She tried so hard to put on strong front, to show her friends she was moving on. She wasn't though. It was as though her life had stilled the moment Denny's heart had stopped beating.

"I don't know what to do Denny. I just…I don't want Hannah thinking she wasn't important to me. She was. What happened back then…it wasn't her fault…and I don't want her to ever think…I couldn't love her, Denny. I tried. All those months I was pregnant, I tried to love her. And I just…couldn't. How am I suppose to explain that to her? How do I explain why I had to give her up?" Blinking rapidly, Izzie fights the second round of tears that is threatening to come on. She touches her stomach again, rubbing the small mound gently. "And this baby…will I be able to take care of him? Him…I keep thinking of this baby as a him." She smiles through her tears, a small laugh passing her lips. "Do you think that means something? I have an appointment tomorrow. With Addison…Dr. Montgomery. Alex is going to talk to Dr. Webber. Since I quit, I don't have insurance. He's going to see if I could be added to his. You know, cause of the baby and all." She pauses, chewing her lip for a minute. "About Alex, Denny…I am so confused. I thought…I mean…I know that I loved you. I know we could have been happy. That you would have accepted and loved this baby because you accepted and loved me. It's just…I think I could….I think already…I just…When I'm with Alex…he makes me smile. He makes me laugh. And…we could be happy. Alex, me, the baby…only…I'm not sure I even deserve to be happy after what I did to you."

oooooooo

Meredith crosses arms, purposely looking away from Derek. He had some nerve. Trapping them in an elevator. Then the bastard grinned about it. He grinned! Ha. She would show him. There was no way in hell she was going to talk to him. None. She was done. Done! "Just so we're clear, I'm not talking to you. This is me not talking."

"Really? You're not talking to me?" The amusement in his voice was enough to make her scream. So was the cocky way he had raised his brow.

"Exactly. I'm not talking to you." She tightens her arms across her waist, raised her chin a bit.

"Really?" It was obnoxious, the amusement in his voice. "You know, for someone who isn't talking to me you're awfully vocal."

"I'm trying to make a point. One you're completely missing, by the way." Meredith scowls, hating how close she was to caving. It was his looks. He was always looking. And when he looked it made her not think. "Okay. Fine. You can talk. I'll listen. But make it quick."

Derek stares at her, the wheels in his mind clearly turning. "I was married for eleven years, Meredith. You don't just throw away eleven years. Not without at least trying. I should have picked you. I realize that now. I didn't even try. I was to busy missing you. Loving you." Meredith shook her head. "Yes. I love you. I think I've always loved you. Except, at one time, I loved her to. Which is why I owed it to her to be honest. I didn't want what happened, between you and me, hanging over our heads like some dirty secret."

Meredith pales. "You told her? You told her about what happened at prom?" At prom. It was a silly thought. The whole idea had been silly. Forced on them by a well meaning Dr. Webber.

"Yes. I had to." Derek's crystal blue gaze met her green one.

"No. No you didn't." How was she going to face the woman? Crap. She already had. This was why she needed to be done with him. He complicated life. Her life was complicated enough. She didn't want anymore complications.

ooooooo

She had to do this. She had to tell Denny all of it. Perhaps to some it was unhealthy, this need she had to make a dead man understand. She owed it to him though. "He kissed me. Alex kissed me. I mean…we kissed. I kissed him back. He started the kiss, but I kissed him to. I guess that doesn't matter. What matters is that we kissed and…it confused me. It really, really confused me." Sighing, she shakes her head. She hated this feeling. Not knowing if what she was doing was right or wrong. Not knowing if she even deserved the bit of happiness she was starting to feel. "I don't know what I feel anymore. Its just so confusing, you know? Am I feeling this way because I'm having his baby?" She hoped so. It was cruel to think that way, yet it was how she felt. Alex was an ass, a jerk, little more than a man whore. She couldn't have feelings for someone like that. She couldn't love someone like that. Not when she had loved someone as wonderful as Denny. "Or do I actually care about him?" She had to admit that there was a lot about Alex to love. Not once had he tried to run from the responsibility of being a father. Granted the baby wasn't here yet, but when the baby did come she still couldn't see him running. He wasn't that guy. He didn't just throw people aside when something better and more interesting came along. She paled a bit. She had done that. She had done exactly that with Denny. She had thrown Alex aside for Denny. "I need a sign Denny. I need for you to give some sort of sign that it's okay to love him…because…confused as I am…I think that's what I feel. I think I love him. And I need you tell me that's okay. I need for you to tell me that you forgive me and that…I just need some kind sign."

ooooooooooo

"Why? Why did you tell her?"

Derek lets out a sigh. Nothing he said would truly explain his need to have the air clear between Addison and him. There had been so much between them that was dishonest. He hadn't wanted to add to it. "She deserved to know the truth."

"Couldn't you have given her some other truth? Like, maybe you couldn't get passed what happened with Mark?" The pleading in Meredith's eyes was heart breaking. He hated that she was hurting over this, that she felt as though he had exposed her. In a way he had. It couldn't be helped. If he had kept the exam room tryst from Addison it would have sunk him to the level she had been at when she slept with Mark. He wasn't ready to be on that level.

"I'm sorry for whatever pain or embarassment you feel over this Meredith, but I had to tell her." Derek rubbed his chin, a soft smile forming. "Speaking of Mark and embarassment." She groans. "Oh yes. I know. Or well I've heard. Would you care to share your version of events?" Her only response was another groan.

ooooooooooo

Wrapping her arms around herself, Izzie stares hard at the etching of Denny's name on the small plaque. She had never felt so alone, so in need of comfort. "I'm so scared. Sometimes, I feel like I'm betraying you by having these feelings." Gulping, she wets her lips. "Mostly for wanting Alex to touch me. Then, I think Denny would want you to be happy. He wouldn't want you to spend your life alone. Is that true? Is that what want you want? Can I? Can I be happy with someone other than you?" The tears start streaming down her cheeks again. She buries her head in the palms of her hands. The park was no longer empty and she could feel the eyes of people upon her. She doesn't care. "I just need to know, okay, Denny, so if you can hear me, could you please give me some sort of sign?" Sniffling a bit, she raises her head. There, on one slender branch a butterfly landed, its wings fluttering up and down. She smiles a bit woefully. That was when she felt it. A tiny fluttering, much like the butterfly's wings, in her abdomen.

ooooooooooo

He knew. Derek knew. Meredith could feel the heat flooding her face. It was hard to read his face. He had perfected this blank look that made it impossible to read him. "I'm going to take the silence to mean that you don't care to give me the full list of your activities that night. Which leads me to believe there must be some truth to the tale."

Meredith gulps. "That depends. On what tale you were told." Her voice squeaked a bit.

A small smirk lifts the corners of his mouth. "Hm. Well, I heard that you are in need of a new bed."

"Oh." It was all she could manage. This wasn't good. This wasn't how she wanted to start her day. She really should have stayed home. "Yes, well, that part is true. I do need a new bed."

"Hmm. Then I have to assume the other part is true. You know, the part where you called Mark Derek."

She licks her lips. She had to get out here. She had to get away from his teasing grin, his sexy eyes, and that hair. She was done with him. Sure, the tingling feelings running up and down her body said otherwise, but what did they matter? She could feel herself starting to cave, to move closer to him. Then it happened. Her saving grace. The elevator doors opened with a loud ding. Letting out a strangled cry of relief, she stumbles out before she makes a mistake she cannot afford to make.

ooooooooo

It took a moment for the fluttering sensation to sink in. Her baby had moved, was still moving. It had to be sign. It couldn't just be an odd coincidence. Gently, she touches her stomach with a new sense of awe. She had known all along there was another human being growing inside her, it just hadn't really set in. It did so now. "You moved," she said softly, a smile stretching across her mouth. "Oh, baby, you moved. I'm glad. I needed reminding that my life isn't just about me anymore. I'm going to put you first from now on, I promise. I'm going to be the best mom ever. Just wait. I won't make you take those nasty store bought cookies to school, and I won't let your daddy make you play sports if you don't want to. Unless you want to play sports. Then I'll be at every game, cheering on. I'll even cheer louder daddy. You have a great daddy by the way. You're going to love him as much as I do…" Her smile turns to a look of awe. It had been that simple. She loved Alex. All she had had to do was just accept it. Tilting her head up, she lets the sun hit her face. She watches at the small butterfly flitters away. Watching it go, she says a silent goodbye to the man who would always hold a place in her heart. Life was for the living, and she had a lot of living to do.

oooooooo

She wasn't going to walk away. He wasn't going to let her. Derek follows Meredith towards the stair well. "Meredith."

"We're done, Derek. Done talking. Done…whatever-ing….done!" Meredith called over her shoulder, yanking the heavy door open. He grabs it before it can slam shut.

"We're not done. If we were done I would know. I would see it your eyes. Do you know what I see when I look in your eyes Meredith?" He grabs her shoulder, turning her to face him. She glances away. Cupping her chin, he gently turns her gaze back towards him. "I see someone who loves me just as much as I love them. And I'm not going to let you just walk away from that."

"I have to," Meredith whispers. "Don't you get it? I'm tired, Derek. I'm tired of all this cat and mouse chasing. I'm tired of wondering if each day is going to be the day you decide you want to make things work with your wife."

"She's not my wife. Not legally. Not emotionally. Not anything. Addison and I were through a long time ago. Neither of us wanted to admit it. Who wants to admit that? Who wants to admit that their vows no longer mean a damn thing to them because they can hardly stand to look at the person they made them to? I love you Meredith. You. Just you. You're my everything, don't see that? I need you. Not want. Need. And I'm going to keep chasing you, I'm going to keep telling you this, over and over again until it sinks into that stubborn head of your's." He pauses to take a breath, searching his mind for everything else he wanted to say. He doesn't get a chance. She throws her arms around him, presses her lips to his.

oooooooooooooooooooo

_We never know, we can't know, what a person is going to mean to us. It is a gradual thing, a dawning of the light so to speak. _

Izzie stares into the living room, where Alex sits in the corner of the couch. He glances up, smiling at her before taking a sip of his beer. She smiles back. She wouldn't tell him right now. It was still a new feeling. One day, soon, she would tell him how much he meant to her.

_It is a bit hard to accept at first, that you've really found that person. Once you do though…all I can say is wow…_

_Meredith kissed him. She kissed him with everything she had. She kissed him as though she never wanted to let him go. _


	6. Choices

Author's Note: This chapter is kind of short. I apologize for that. It does contain some very important things though.

_Have you ever been forced to do something? _

Dr. Richard Webber. The plaque was burnished gold, the name etched in black. Alex could tell anyone interested all the details of that plaque. He had been staring at it for the past ten minutes. He had no choice. He had to go in there; unless he wanted a mountain of medical bills to pile on top of his mountain of student loans. Just thinking about the amount of debt he was sitting on was enough to make him short of breath. He wasn't going to dwell on that right now, though. Right now he had to go in there and beg Webber to put Izzie on his insurance.

_Something you know you have to do, but you really don't want to?_

It was cozy. A colorful comforter across the bed. A retro looking Madonna poster taped to the wall. Even the leg she used as a clothing rack added character; in a rather creepy way. Tilting her head, Callie looked her living space over through new eyes. Her mouth turns downward as she realizes there was some truth to what George had been saying. It was creepy. It was time to apartment hunt.

_Or maybe it isn't that you're afraid of doing it so much as the fact that you are afraid of what some other person is going to say_.

This wasn't happening. In the month since she had reunited with Derek she had mannered to avoid being alone, or trapped, anywhere with Addison. Until now. Pushing the third floor button with her right hand, Meredith slides her left one into the pocket of her jeans. She shoots Addison a tight smile.

_It's a scary thing. Having to do something you don't want to do._

She had to go in. There was no way around it. Not unless Addison suddenly made house calls or set up practice someplace other than Seattle Grace; neither of which was going to happen before time for her appointment. She would just have to suck it up.

Izzie let's out a breath she hadn't even realized she was holding. She would simply go straight to Addison's office. She wouldn't go near the surgical floor. Get in. Get out. There. The perfect plan.

_Sometimes though, we have to get past our fears and do those things we don't want to do._

The door to Dr. Webber's office opens. Richard steps out, followed shortly by Alex. Both men wear rather resigned expressions. "I'm sorry Karev. There's just no way around it." They walk down the hall a ways, the older man's hands clasped behind his back. "Hospital policy states only spouses and minor dependents can be insured under and employee. Once the baby is born, you can add him or her. Until then…"

Nodding, Alex scrubs a hand down his face. He had known, deep down, this was the answer he was going to get. He had had to try though. "I understand." He understood all to well. A fine line of swear breaks out across his upper lip as he thinks of the amount of money this baby was going to cost to be born. He could throw up his hands, tell Izzie it was her problem; except he wasn't that sort of man. Alex Karev might be a lot of things but he stood by his word once he gave it.

"If Stevens were to come back, I'm sure I could arrange for her policy to pick back up." Webber offered.

Alex shakes his head. Izzie wasn't going to come back. She had made that very clear. "I don't see that happening. Not any time soon." Not ever if she didn't let go of the guilt she carried around. Denny had died. There was no way she could have known the man would die. True, her actions had been questionable, but Denny's death hadn't been her fault. Nor did he think the other man would want her blaming herself the way she did.

Webber nodded. "I know. To be honest, I'm not even sure the board would let me hire her back."

A quick glance at a clock on the wall behind a nurses station told him it was time for Izzie's appointment. Damn it. "Thank you for your time sir," he holds out his hand, shaking Webber's. The older man reminds him that his office is always open for interns needing to talk. Alex nods, thanking him again before sprinting down the hallway towards Addison's office.

ooooo_

The exam room was quiet. Mostly because neither the tall red haired woman standing, her hip propped against a nearby counter, nor the slender blonde sitting on the exam table, nervously chewing her lip, had anything to say to one another. They had already gone through the polite small chat about the weather, as well as the usual run of first appointment questions. Now, there was nothing left to say, nothing left to do; except wait.

Fighting the urge to sigh, Addison looks up at the clock on the wall. The appointment had run fifteen minutes past the scheduled time. All it took was ten minutes to throw a whole day out of whack. "Izzie, I have other appointments," she reminds gently.

Izzie had the good grace to blush. "Just a few more minutes," she begged. "Please. Alex said he would be here. He promised."

Addison let's out the over due sigh, rubbing her temples. "Five more minutes." She gives the other woman a pointed look. "Then, either you're going to have to let me do the ultrasound, or we're going to have to reschedule."

"Okay." Izzie smiles tensely. They fall into the silence again, only breaking it five minutes later when Izzie admits in a rather crestfallen tone that they had best reschedule. As Addison was going through her PDA, the door creaks open, Alex slipping inside. "Alex!" Izzie smiles.

"Sorry." Alex gives Addison a cursory nod, then moves to stand closer to Izzie. "I was with the Chief."

"And?" Addison doesn't miss the anxious tone, or look, Izzie has, or that Alex averts his gaze and mumbles something about discussing it later.

"How about we get this show on the road?" Addison suggested, smiling. They both look at her, then nod.

ooooo

He was leaning against the nurses station, head bent over a chart, a lock of dark hair flopped over his right eye. Callie couldn't help but smile. Sneaking up, she leaned her chin on his shoulder. He glanced up, surprised, then smiled when he seen it was her. "So, I was thinking," she moved around him, leaning against the counter. "About what you said."

George closed the chart he had been reading. He looked at Callie, slightly confused. "What? What did I say?" The this time was silent.

"You know," Callie laughed. He shook his head. "A while back." Another shake, accompanied by a shrug. "About how it's creepy. Where I live."

George's frown deepened. "I never…"

She cut him off with a sigh. "I know, you didn't' come out and say it, but I could tell." He started to say more, she stopped him. "The thing is, I can't afford to live any where else. I send all my money back home." He still looked confused. She fought the urge to snap at him. Instead, she took a deep breath. "My dad was laid off. My mom only work's part time. I have three little sisters. They need the money. And…they need it. I don't. So, that's why I live here…I mean there…I mean…you know what I mean."

"Okay."

Callie's mouth formed a small, silent oh. "Okay? Seriosly? That's all you have to say? Okay?"

"Yup," George grinned at her, pressing a kiss to her still parted lips before gathering his charts up.

ooooooo

Dropping onto the gurney where Meredith was seated, Cristina let out a disgusted sigh. "Shoot me. Just…" her voice trailed off. She stared at Meredith, as though she had never seen her before. "Wow."

Meredith looked up from the post op notes she had been working on. "Wow what?"

Cristina shrugged. "Take your pick." She stretched her arms over her head, groaning. "Wow, you have that 'I shagged McDreamy' glow." Meredith laughed. "And," Cristina grabbed Meredith's left hand. She looked pointedly ad the large diamond solitaire that was on her ring finger. "wow a full karat."

Laughing, Meredith pulled her hand back. She smiled down at the ring. "Yeah. Wow."

oooooooo

The blue gel spread easily across Izzie's abdomen. Addison placed the ultrasound Doppler on the highest point, then started to move it around. The swishing sound of a heart beat filled the room. "Do we want to know the sex?" Addison asked . She typed a few things in, paused in several places to freeze the image before printing it off. After a while, she turned the screen so Izzie and Alex could see.

Alex stared, mesmerized. He had seen ultrasounds before, had done his fair share even. None of them had hit home like this. He was staring at a tiny person, a person he had helped create. Tiny hands. Tiny feet. Perfectly formed organs, only miniature size. "Yeah. I want to know." He glanced in Izzie's direction. She seemed to be in as much awe as he was. He knew from their conversations that she hadn't paid attention during any of Hannah's ultrasounds for fear she would get more attached and be unable to give her up. "Iz? Do you want to know?" If she said no he would be fine with that.

"Yes. Yes, we want to know," Izzie said softly.

Addison smiled, then started moving the Doppler around once more, stopping when she found what she was looking for. "It's a boy."

Alex had told himself he didn't care. That girl or boy he just wanted the baby to be healthy. He had been lying. He had wanted a boy. A son. Some one he could do the things with he had wanted to be able to do with his father. He grinned, leaning close to Izzie's stomach. "We're going to play football and baseball." His grin broadened. "Maybe even try out that camping stuff people seem to be so crazy about." Izzie groaned his name. "What?"

"He isn't even born yet!" Alex shrugged. It didn't' matter. He was having a son. He wouldn't mess him up the way his dad had messed with him. His son would grow up knowing he was loved.

"Speaking of being born," Addison interjected. "Judging by the size and development of the fetus, I would say your little boy will be here around December 6th. Plenty of time for Christmas." She handed Izzie a wad of tissue to wipe the gel off, then turned back to the monitor. She printed off several more images, then handed half to Alex.

ooooooo

Nothing exciting had happened in Cristina's day. Unless one was to count scrubbing in on an appendectomy with Bailey. Sighing, she stepped up close to Meredith, her hip rubbing up against that of her friend's. Her gaze is instantly drawn back to the ring. She had tried to ask earlier, but Meredith had cut her off. She wouldn't be so lucky this time. Cristina would learn more. "So…"

Meredith doesn't look up from the chart she is writing in. "So…what?" She glances up for a second, then back down.

"Don't give me that crap. You know what I want to know, so don't play games." Meredith sighed. "I want details." One eye brow quirked up. "Okay, not all of them, but this…" Cristina grabbed Meredith's hand, the one carat diamond sparkling in the light. "I want details on this. I mean, it isn't every day that my person gets engaged."

"It's not an engagement ring," Meredith said defensively. She tugged her hand back, then closed the chart.

Cristina grabbed her hand again, this time studying the ring intently. It certainly looked like an engagement ring. When she said as much, Meredith turned defensive and once again told her it was wasn't. "It's an engagement to get engaged ring."

"That is screwed up," Cristina let her hand go, this time for good. "I knew you had commitment issues, but this goes beyond the norm, Mer."

"What's screwed up?" They both turn to find Izzie standing there. Cristina is torn, does she help Meredith hide the ring or does she let the rest of the world in on her person's twisted reasoning. She stepped back, letting Meredith be the one to decide. If it was up to her she would invite Barbie in on it just to see some one else tell Meredith that there was no such thing as an engaged to get engaged ring. Promise rings, which she thought were ridiculous, were as close as anyone got to that, and it was mostly horny teenage boys wanting to get laid who gave those out. "Holy mother of…McDreamy!" Nobody had to ask. They all knew. Izzie had spotted the ring. Like Cristina had, she dove right for Meredith's hand, pulling it up to get a better look. "Seriously. That is one…serious…ring."

"So, you're going to…uh…you know…" All three woman stare at Alex. It was clear he had commitment issues, at least at the moment. Cristina didn't blame him. Secretly, she felt a little sorry for the guy. His girlfriend dumped him for another man, then the other man croaks a short time later. And, if that wasn't enough, said ex girlfriend announces she is pregnant and the kid is his. Much as Cristina liked Izzie, if she was Alex she would be demanding some DNA comparisons when the kid was born.

"It's called marriage," Cristina said when nobody else spoke. "You know, as in 'first comes love, the comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage'." The childhood rhyme drew her gaze to Izzie's stomach. She couldn't resist throwing in "Got it a little screwed up there didn't you Karev?" She knew she had crossed a line when she seen the blood drain from his face and heard Izzie snap her name. "Relax. I'm only messing with him. It's not my fault he's a commitment phobe. Besides I owe you both…and Meredith…a few digs."

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Really? And why is that?"

Cristina scowled. "Because you three, Burke has brought up making our relationship more permenant and starting a family of our own."

ooooooo

Derek stepped off the elevator just as Burke exited his office. "Good morning Burke." When Burke scowled he smiled back and amended the Burke to Preston. They had agreed. They were on a first name basis now. Friends, of sort.

"Derek," Burke answered, his voice still gruff.

"How's the hand?" He asked, walking over to the other man. Burke shrugged, made a low comment about it getting better every day. "Mind if I look?" The other man shrugged again, then lifted his hand. The tremors were almost gone. "Excellent. Should be ready to come back soon."

"So I am told," Burke said smoothly. It wasn't like he had really left. He had taken some personal time off, then come back for consults and such. He just hadn't been allowed back in the O.R.

"Fantastic," he responded.

"Excellent. Fantastic. All these amazing adjectives just for my hand?" Derek shrugged, then smiled. "Or does your good cheer have to do with what we talked about the other night?"

Derek laughed. "Good guess." He hadn't meant to turn Burke into his confidant. It had just sort of happened. He had needed to share his thoughts, his hopes, with some one. Burke had seemed as good as anyone. "I am glad for you, though. I know you miss the O.R."

"You're right, I do. More than I thought possible." Burke scrubbed a hand down his face. "So, how did it go?"

"She wants to take it slow. We are engaged to be engaged." His mind still was unable to wrap itself around that one. He would take what he could get though. "It won't last though. Meredith and I have never been able to go slow."

ooooo

George wasn't sure what Callie expected of him. He was never sure what she expected. He cared about her, had gone out of his way to tell her just how much, and it never felt like it was enough. He shook his head, trying to ward the confusion off. Luckily the other interns were leaned against the nurses station, having what looked to be a lively discussion. Good. It was what he needed to distract himself. As he neared he heard Cristina making mention of her and Burke having a family. "You with a baby?" He can't help but laugh. When Bailey had asked her to hold her newborn son for a short time Cristina had freaked. "That's hilarious."

"Shove it O'Malley," Cristina growled. "If I want to have a baby some day I will." She narrowed her eyes, daring him to laugh. He cut the chuckle he felt forming off. No need to make Cristina angry.

"Speaking of baby's," Izzie cleared her throat. George grimaced. He didn't like thinking about Izzie's baby, didn't like thinking about his best friend tied to a man like Alex Karev. "We had our ultrasound today and we're…"

Alex cut her off, a big grin on his face. "A boy. We're having a boy."

Great, George thought with a grimace. Another Alex Karev in this world.

ooooo

A man stepping out from an exam room catches Alex's attention. His body goes still, his happiness over having a son wanes. The man was his father. It had always been this way. Something good would happen in his life and his father would ruin it.

He wrapped an arm around Izzie's waist. "Let's go," he whispered in her ear. She gave him an odd look. "Please. So we can talk." She frowned, then nodded.

"We're going to go," Izzie told the others, her voice holding the confusion that was written on her face. The others, especially George, gave them odd looks. Once they were a few feet away, she looked at him. "What did you want to talk about?" Alex shrugged, trying to quicken their pace. He groaned when he heard his father call his name. "I think that man wants to talk to you." She glanced over her shoulder. "Alex. That man is calling your name."

"I only have fifteen minutes left on my break. Want to go grab lunch?" He knew he would have to explain later. He owed her that. She had shared so much of her past, even the painful parts, with him.

"Who is that guy?" Izzie looked over her shoulder again when his father said his name once more, this time a little louder.

"No one. Just some guy." Alex snapped.

She blinked. "He knows your name."

"Look, just forget about it." His gaze darted around for some place to hide. He pulled open the nearest door, praying it was an empty on call room or linen closet. As it happened, it was the same linen closet where he had first made love to Izzie. He tried to not laugh at the irony. The baby she was carrying had most likely been conceived there. "Webber says my insurance won't cover you." That much was true. Webber had told him that.

Izzie groaned. "Now what?"

Alex gulped, mulling over the various options they had. He kept coming back to one. He doesn't think about it, he just blurts it out "I think we should get married."

_We're always going to have to do things we don't want to do. Like taking it slow_.

Derek leaned against the hood of Meredith's Jeep and waited. It seemed like that was all he did. Wait for Meredith. He told himself it was worth it, that she was worth it. He would have to keep telling himself that, because there were days he wondered…

_Confronting our past even when we want to ignore it._

Alex stepped into the shadows as his father exited the hospital. He didn't know why the man was there, he didn't really care. He just knew his life was a big enough mess without the mess that inevitably came when his father was around…

_Pretending we want something we don't want._

Callie flipped through the apartment finding guide George had given her. She couldn't' really afford an apartment. She didn't even really want one. She would look and try though, for George's sake…

_Making a decision concerning the future, even though you are not ready to._

Izzie stared out the window of her bedroom. The view wasn't anything special, and it didn't garner her attention. Her mind was too wrapped up in the flippant marriage proposal Alex had thrown at her. Was he right? Should they get married? She just didn't know…

_Doing things we don't want to do...there is no way to avoid it._


	7. Who Is Mr Right

_We meet someone one, think they must be it, decide it is too good to be true, so we end it._

Thoughts of Alex had plagued Izzie ever since he asked her to marry him. She couldn't stop thinking about his marriage proposal. He hadn't pressed her for an answer. Not yet. He would though, and she had no idea what she was going to say.

Sighing, she took another sip of her orange juice. "Izzie?" She looked up when Meredith said her name.

She set the glass of juice on the table and smiled. "I didn't realize anyone was up."

Meredith shrugged. "I need to check a patient." She looked as though she wanted to say something but was unsure. Finally, she took a deep breath. "So, Alex told me. About accidentally asking you to marry him."

The blood drained from Izzie's face. It had been an accident?

_Then, just when we have resigned ourselves to some one safe, if not mediocre, we find ourselves thinking about the one that got away, the one we let go because they made us feel things we didn't want to feel and that scared us._

George took a deep breath, then shoved open the door to the nurses lounge. It was the one place off limits to Doctors. He hated to go in there. He had little choice. His patient was missing and Tyler had been the last person with him.

"Can we help you?" Debbie demanded. Crap. He had hoped for some of the newer nurses. They didn't act so territorial.

"Uh…uh…well…" George licked his lips, scuffling his foot back and forth. "I…well…you know…" Did they all have to stare at him? It was making him nervous. Like they were stray dogs and he was cat. A small, scrawny cat they wanted to rip apart. It didn't help that Olivia was there, staring at him with those big blue eyes of her's.

"No, George, we don't. So, if you could just stop doing that stuttering thing you do when you're nervous and just spit it out." Olivia snapped, flipping her reddish blonde hair back. He scowled, muttered a never mind and stormed out.

_And damned if they don't show back up in our lives. Which makes us start thinking about those feelings again. _

Marriage. Alex hadn't really thought about it until he had accidentally asked Izzie to marry him. It had been an accident. He had meant to ask her if she wanted to try to get her job back. Instead, he had proposed. Why? He couldn't figure it out. He had tried talking to Meredith about it, but had ended up confusing her and pissing her off.

"It was an accident?" Izzie shrieked, shoving his bedroom door open. He stared at her groggily, sitting up. "You accidentally asked me to marry you?"

Crap. Meredith had taken her pissed off confusion to Izzie. "Sort of," Alex admitted slowly. He ducked when Izzie shrieked again, throwing one of his wrestling trophies in his direction. How she had gotten a hold of it so quickly he didn't know. "Hey!"

"Don't hey me," Izzie screamed. "I was this close," she held her fingers a half an inch apart "to saying yes! God, am I stupid or what!" His door slammed shut as quickly as it had opened.

_Only what are we suppose to do with them?_

Pushing her hair off her face, Meredith stared at the tiled floor of the hospital corridor. Alex had just put her through the wringer for interfering in his life. She didn't blame him. She had been wrong though. At least in telling Izzie about her conversation with Alex. She should have kept her mouth shut. She realized that now. He had told her that he loved Izzie. Yes, the proposal had been an accident, but he had meant it. After he said it he had meant it, and thanks to her, Izzie hated him.

"You have to make it right," she muttered, reaching for her cell phone, which was stuffed in her breast pocket. She dialed a familiar number and waited. "Izzie?"

"Yeah," Izzie sniffled from on the other line.

"Are you okay?" It was a silly question. Of course Izzie wasn't okay. Meredith had made a difficult decision impossible, she had stepped into something that wasn't her business. She had, in short, pulled an Izzie. It wasn't a position she liked being in.

"He's such an ass," Izzie choked out. "I can't believe him. If I had hinted at marriage, I could see him feeling like he had to at least offer, but I didn't. He was the one who came up with it. Accidentally, it would seem."

"That isn't entirely true," Meredith confessed. She took a deep breath, said a silent prayer to whoever it was that heard and answered prayers, and forged on with her admission. "It might have accidentally slipped out, but that doesn't mean he didn't mean it. He meant it."

"Right. He meant it about as much as he meant to get me pregnant," Izzie said bitterly.

"No, he meant it. Trust me, he meant it." Meredith tried to sound assuring. She wasn't sure if she pulled it off or not because Izzie let out a snort. "I'm serious. He meant it."

"How do you know?" Izzie demanded. "This morning you said it was all an accident."

"I shouldn't have said that. Alex needed a friend and he picked me. I should have kept what he said to myself. I shouldn't have…said something that wasn't entirely true." She cringed when Izzie shrieked in her ear. "He did accidentally propose, but he meant it." She listened to Izzie let out another shriek before she muttered that she had to go. She had done it again, stepped into something that was none of her business, and she couldn't help but wonder if she had just made things worse. Again.

"Can we talk?" George kept his focus on scanning the people walking to and from the many rooms on the third floor. Anywhere but on the petite red head that stood next to him. "George, come on. Talk to me. You came into the lounge for a reason. What was it?" He still ignored her. Olivia had humiliated him. There was no way in hell he was talking to her. Not now. Not ever. Okay, maybe not ever, there would come a time when they had a patient together and he would have to talk to her. Until then though… "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" George broke his own promise. He scowled down at her. "You humiliated me by telling everyone I stutter."

"And I am sorry. It wasn't on purpose. You do, though. You stutter. When you're nervous. Everyone," she winced when he gasped, "has noticed that by now. Sorry. Sorry. Really. I am." Olivia sighed. "Look, why don't you tell me what you needed?"

"I needed Tyler," George scowled. He caught sight of a short old man in a hospital gown. His hopes brightened. He hurried after him, Olivia in hot pursuit.

"He's already gone home. Maybe I can help?" Olivia kept up with him, her long pony tail flying back and forth.

It wasn't him, George realized as he drew closer to the old man. He wasn't thin enough, not old enough. He stopped abruptly. "I lost a patient," he explained, going back to his continuous scanning.

Olivia stared at her, her blue eyes wide. "George, this is a hospital," she said slowly. "People die. In fact, I would venture to say that at least one third of our patients die. It is just the way things are. I know it is hard, but…"

He shook his head. "My patient didn't die. I meant he's lost. I lost him."

"Oh," Olivia said. "Oh!"

"Never mind," George muttered when he spotted the patient he was looking for sitting in a wheel chair staring off into space.

"That him?" Olivia questioned. He nodded. "Good." She licked her lips. "Well, if that's all…" He assured her that it was. "Okay, well then, I guess that is it. If you need anything else, just, you know, ask." She offered him a sweet smile before turning to head back in the direction they had come from.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

After a grueling shift where he had been vomited on and had Bailey chew him up and spit him out, Alex stormed into the locker room. He yanked his scrub top off. He needed a shower in the worst way, but he wouldn't be taking one here. He would wait until he got home. If he still had a home. Izzie had refused to speak to him, and wouldn't answer his calls. He had ripped into Meredith. Most likely the two had thrown his belongings out onto the lawn and torched them.

"Good God, what is that smell?" Cristina wrinkled her nose as she rounded a section of the lockers. She stopped when she seen Alex. "Oh. It's you."

"Ha ha. Very funny," Alex snapped, tossing the scrub top into the laundry cart. He stomped over to his locker. It took several attempts to get his locker open, when he did he tugged on the red shirt he had worn that morning.

"I thought so," Cristina snickered. He sent her a look, one that dared her to say more. "You can scowl all you want. Nothing is going to ruin my good mood."

"Why are you in such a good mood?" Alex quickly changed into his jeans and pulled on his shoes. He had a vague idea why Cristina was so happy. She had scored some major surgeries that day.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She smiled smugly, then sauntered off.

"Bitch," Alex muttered.

"I heard that," Cristina called over her shoulder. "I'll let it slide today though. I'm in too good a mood to let your childish jibes get to me. Not that they ever do."

"Quit being one, and just tell me what has you so…bright and shiny. Burke give you a little something, something?" He honestly hoped she wouldn't answer that question. He didn't want to know anything about anyone's love life. Not when he didn't have one.

"Oh please," Cristina scoffed. "Like sex would make me this happy. I have screaming orgasms every night." He shot her a dirty look. "Aw, is Alex not getting any? How sad."

"Screw you," Alex shot back, slamming his locker shut. He ignored her parting comment of 'in his dreams.' If there was one person who wasn't, and never had been, featured in his dreams it was Cristina.

His steps faltered as he drew near his car. He didn't really feel up to going home. He wrinkled his brow, then headed across the street to Joe's.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meredith found Izzie sitting in the kitchen. Once again she was staring off into space, sipping a glass of juice. It seemed to be a habit they were forming. Her looking for Izzie and finding her in the kitchen drinking juice. "Iz?"

"What?" Izzie sat the glass down, her dark eyes miserable.

"I really am sorry." She pulled out the chair next to Izzie's. "I spoke without knowing all the facts."

"Like what?" Meredith shrugged. She shouldn't say anymore. Except she had created the mess and she felt compelled to fix it. "Meredith, I'm pregnant. I'm hot. I'm tired. Nothing in my life makes sense anymore. If you know something that could…I don't know…help make things make sense, then tell me."

"What makes you think I know anything?" Meredith grinned. Maybe she should tell Izzie. It couldn't hurt. Izzie had a right to know Alex loved her.

"I don't know. I wasn't sure you did know anything. Until now, when you got that shit eating grin on her face." Izzie crossed her arms, resting them on her softly rounding belly. She had started to show more and more each day. It made sense though, seeing how she was roughly five months along. It was strange, seeing how they had only found out she was pregnant a month and a half ago. So much had changed in that time. Some for the better, and some not.

"You need to talk to Alex," Meredith said at last. Izzie demanded to know more. She shook her head, once again telling her to talk to Alex.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Olivia hesitated before tapping George on the shoulder. She had felt horrible after the incident in the nursing lounge and had made it her business to keep track of Mr. Richards, George's patient. She had let her attention slip for a moment when Dr. Montgomery had asked her to help discharge a patient who had come in with false labor. In that short time Mr. Richards had gone missing. Again.

"We have a problem," she said softly in his ear. He jumped, letting out a gasp. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you."

"You didn't," George lied.

"Right. Well, Mr. Richards is missing again." She winced when he groaned. "I tried to keep an eye one him, but there were other patients and when I went back he was gone."

"I don't get it," George groaned "How can one old guy be so tricky?"

"Lot's of practice?" Olivia suggested. George grunted, muttering something about the man being a magician in his younger days then something about never having an east time of it when he had to work a double. "We'll find him."

"Find who?"

They both turned to find Debbie standing there. Olivia debated on whether or not they should lie. Debbie wasn't as horrible as everyone made her out to be. In fact, she had always been a great help to her. She took a deep breath, then let the situation rip. "What does he look like?"

Olivia looked at George, then back at Debbie. "He's old," she said weakly. She hadn't paid attention to distinguishing features. She just knew she would know him when she seen him.

"And he smells odd. Like moldy ass," George added. She nodded. The man did have that particular odor about him. She had offered him a bath earlier, and he had refused, said it wasn't time yet.

"That describes half the patients in this hospital." Debbie snapped. "What was he wearing?"

"A hospital gown," George winced.

"A green paisley one," Olivia remembered. She could tell Debbie was disgusted with them. They would be hearing lecture after lecture while they hunted. She was sure of it.

"You two are just so observant," Debbie said sarcastically. "Which room is he missing from?"

"3215," George said quickly.

"Learn to read. He's out for tests," Debbie shook her head, disgust apparent on her face. Olivia felt her cheeks flame. She hadn't thought to read his chart. She had seen him gone and jumped the gun.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Izzie jumped slightly when she heard the bathroom door slam shut. She had heard the heavy foot steps coming up the stairs and known it was Alex. She slid off her bed, stuck her head out into the hallway, then snuck down stairs. She didn't mean to, but she headed straight for the kitchen.

"Talk to Alex," Meredith said when she seen her. The smaller blonde was washing a bowl. Slowly she rubbed the soapy rag over the cream colored ceramic.

"Not until you tell me what you know," Izzie insisted. Meredith knew something big. She could feel it. And she needed to know. She needed to know before she talked to Alex. Right now she was too up in the air. Her emotions were on a rollercoaster that refused to stop going upside down.

"Talk to Alex," Meredith repeated. Izzie shook head, heading for the refrigerator. She pulled out the carton of orange juice and emptied the last of it into a glass. The baby seemed to crave anything orange. Orange juice. Orange popsicles. Orange soda. Orange was a favorite. "Besides, did I say that I knew anything?"

"Kind of." Izzie took a long drink, savoring the tangy taste. It was like liquid heaven, and the small life in her stomach moved in appreciation. "You do though, I can tell."

"How?" Meredith rinsed the dish, then laid it in the drainer.

"Hmm. Maybe it's because you have this 'I know something you don't know' grin on your face. And I have to know. I need to know." Izzie took another drink.

"What? This grin?" Meredith smiled bigger. "This is from all the sex I'm getting. The all night, full of screaming orgasms sex. With my almost fiancé."

Izzie scowled. "Sure. Rub it in that you're getting some."

"You could be getting some. I am sure that Alex would be more than happy to…" Meredith coughed, then cleared her throat. "Hey Alex."

Izzie looked away, hating the thoughts that were running through her mind. "Where's the orange juice," he demanded.

"Sorry," Izzie held up the glass. He blinked, then grabbed a soda instead. He didn't give them, or rather her a second look, before heading back upstairs. To the shower no doubt, as she had heard it start up on her way down. "He isn't going to talk to me," she sighed.

"You don't know that," Meredith pointed out. "Go. Now. Talk to him."

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The man had escaped from the interns who had taken him for his tests. George couldn't believe it. Yet, Debbie and Olivia had no reason to lie to him. "They lost him?"

"Try not to sound so judgmental, as you thought you lost him earlier," Debbie reminded him. Olivia told her about before. He was thankful for that. Let her think there was only the one incident.

"Think, George. Did he ever talk about wanting to go some place?" Olivia implored him, her large eyes begging. She was invested in finding the man too. So was Debbie it seemed.

George wrinkled his brow, trying to recall if Mr. Richards had mentioned anyplace special. Nothing came to mind. Except the mother ship. It was coming back to him now. The man thought he was an alien and that the mother ship was looking for him. "He's waiting for his mother ship," he said excitedly.

"His mother ship?" Debbie gapped at him. "As in 'E.T. phone home' type mother ship?" He nodded. "Wonderful. We have a crazy person wandering around."

"Will you keep it down? I don't want Dr. Bailey to find out."

"Find out what O'Malley?" Bailey's voice tensed all three of them up. She stood there, arms crossed, foot tapping, waiting. She wanted explanations.

"We lost Mr. Richards," Debbie said matter of factly.

"You lost him?" Bailey stared at them as though they had grown three heads. "Where did you lose him?"

"Well, technically these other interns lost him," Olivia said defensively. "They took him for tests and when they went to get him he was gone."

"Anyone check his room?" Bailey asked. They all nodded. Of course. It had been the first place they looked. "Which room? His old one or new one?"

"He has a new one?" George asked weakly. The look on Bailey's face said it all. He wanted to crawl into a corner and hide.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meredith propped her chin in the palm of her hand. It had taken some convincing to get Izzie to go upstairs. She had done it though. There had been a few moments when she was tempted to let Alex's declaration of love slip. She had been strong though, she had kept the information to herself.

She smiled dreamily, holding her hand out. She reached for the ringing phone with her other one. "Hey you," she said softly when she heard Derek's voice on the other line. How she had missed him. They hadn't had any real time together in a couple days. She giggled when he made some off handed remark about their long distance relationship. "Want me to come over?" she asked. Ten minutes later she was sitting behind the wheel of her Jeep and pulling out of the drive. Izzie and Alex were on their own. She had another 'Shagged' by McDreamy grin to earn.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meredith had asked her to pretend nothing had happened between Alex and she. It wasn't that easy though, Izzie thought as she mounted the stairs. So much had happened. She couldn't pretend Denny had never existed and that she hadn't killed him. She couldn't pretend Alex had accidentally proposed to her. She couldn't pretend this baby wasn't unplanned.

She paused at the top of the stairs. The shower was no longer running. She chewed her lip, uncertain as to whether or not she should check the bathroom or his room. She had to do this before she lost her nerve. "Alex," she called softly. "I think we should talk." There she had done it. She had told him they needed to talk. She had no idea if heard her or not. Most likely he hadn't.

"You're right. We do need to talk."

Izzie couldn't stop the scream that hurled out of her lips. She hadn't expected him to just appear. She clapped a hand to her pounding heart. "Oh. My. God. You scared the crap out of me."

A small grin lifted the corners of his lips. "Sorry."

He sounded anything but, Izzie thought sourly. She started to rip into him, to make him feel awful for scaring her the way he had, unintentional or not. She couldn't do it though, not with him standing there wearing nothing but a towel. "Uh, yeah. Sure." She gulped, unable to really think. Not with him standing there. In a towel. Water dripping down his body. His almost naked body. His naked under the towel body. "Alex…" she started, then stopped. What was she suppose to do? Ask him to have sex with her? No. that wouldn't do. They had important things to talk about. Sex would only muddy the waters more. "We should…" She stopped again. The waters were already muddy, she reasoned. Taking a deep breath, she went for it. She grabbed his face and kissed him.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

George wasn't a drinker. On occasion he would have a couple beers or a shot of tequila. Tonight, though, he fully planned on getting ripped. He had signed the forms releasing Mr. Richards to the psych floor. He was the reason they had been hunting the man off and on all day. He was an idiot. And he needed a drink so he could forget that, just for a bit.

"What's the matter Bambi, did you see the big, bad hunter shoot mama? Or did you hear about me scrubbing in on the Humpty Dumpty?" Cristina taunted when she seen him enter the bar. He ignored her. He wasn't in the mood to let her run his already low self esteem even further into the ground.

"George!"

He turned in the direction his name had been called from. A grin split across his face.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

They stumbled into her room. Alex wasn't sure why they chose her room, maybe because it was closer and the door was already open. It didn't matter. Only one thing mattered. Izzie wanted him. It wasn't a declaration of love or a yes to his marriage proposal, but at this point he figured he couldn't be picky.

He sat her on the side of the bed, his fingers curling into the hem of her shirt. She lifted her arms, letting him tug it over her head. He sucked in his breath when her upper body was exposed to him. Her breasts were fuller, almost twice the size they had been. He lowers his gaze. She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny, her arms wrapping over the small bulge that was their baby.

"Don't," Alex said softly. He had thought the baby would curb his interest, that the swollen stomach would turn him off. It did the opposite. It reminded him of how the child had come to be there, of all the times they had made love. He bent his head, pressing a kiss just above her belly button. He moved his mouth up, his hands splaying on her outer thighs. He felt her dig her nails into his shoulders when he took one lace covered nipple into his mouth. The soft moan that escaped her lips spurred him on. "Lift up a bit," he murmured, tugging her Hello Kitty panties off when she did. She smiled, then loosened the knot that held the towel around his waist.

Her hair spread across the maroon sheet, a golden mess of curls. He stared down at her face, memorizing every detail. The soft curve of her cheek, the full pout of her lower lip, the emotion in her dark eyes. It was the emotion that mesmerized him. He had never seen her look that way, at least not at him. He caressed her cheek, then lowered his mouth to her's. She accepted the kiss eagerly, her arms twining up and around his neck.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_So, this person we thought was out of our life, isn't. They come back in, uninvited, and stir up all these old feelings._

"Okay to sit here?" George asked tentatively, placing his hand on the empty stool next to Olivia. She had called him over, so asking was more from habit.

"Of course, silly," Olivia laughed, her eyes dancing. She had changed from her scrubs into a pretty light yellow sun dress that left her shoulders and a fair amount of her cleavage bare. "I can't believe the day we had. All thanks to that Mr. Richards!"

Silently he agreed. It had been quite a day. All thanks to Mr. Richards. "Buy you a drink?" She nodded, smiling brightly.

_Feelings we are not sure we want to admit we still have._

Izzie moaned as Alex thrust into her body. She trailed her fingers down his spine. She hadn't realized how much she had missed this. It wasn't just the physical aspect, although that was pretty amazing as well. No, it was more, because making love to Alex was like having someone touch her soul. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him. To put into words what he made her feel. She wasn't ready though. She needed more time. Time to figure out how to love a man who didn't love her back.

_Except we don't really have a choice do we? Because those feelings, they're not going to go away. They're there for a reason. They're there, because that person is who we are meant to be with._

_Meredith held her hand up, smiling as the moonlight caught in the facets of the diamond. She couldn't help staring at the ring, couldn't help smiling like some idiot. _

"_I have to wonder," Derek murmured, pressing a kiss to her neck, "which one of us you like more. Me, or the ring." _

_She couldn't stop the giggling. "That's a tough one. But, if I had to pick, I would…" she turned onto her side, facing him, "I would pick you." _


	8. Reflections in the Mirror

_When I was younger, my mother told me to never do anything that I didn't want to have to face in the morning. I never really got that. Until the morning after my first drunken, one night stand. It wasn't so much the fact that I had had sex, while intoxicated, with a man I cared nothing about. It was the fact that I cared about the woman he was engaged to. My supposed best friend. Needless to say, I had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. It seemed like, even though it was me, the reflection in the mirror was scolding me. It was saying How could you screw your best friend's fiance the night before her wedding?_

George tip toped around the dark bedroom, wearing nothing more than a pair of light blue boxers. Gradually, he gathered up the rest of his clothing, pulling them on quickly. He paused in the doorway, then looked back over his shoulder to the rumpled bed behind him. Olivia mumbled something in her sleep, then rolled over.

_Don't get me wrong. I have had good mornings too. Mornings where I look in the mirror and know the person smiling back is all me because, well, life is just that wonderful…_

Cutting a small piece of pancake with the side of her fork, Meredith watched as Derek flipped through the newspaper. She couldn't help but smile. It was cozy, in a domesticated sort of way. Surprisingly enough, she liked it. It was something she could get use to. Her smile grew into a full fledge grin as she slid the pancake off the fork and into her mouth.

…_or I know something wonderful is about to happen. _

Laying on her back, Izzie resisted the urge to pinch herself. It had to be a dream. Life couldn't really be this happy. At least not her life. The bed shifted, and she turned her head. Her dark eyes meet Alex's hazel ones. He returned her smile, then leaned down to kiss her belly.

She couldn't stop herself from squeezing a small amount of skin between her forefinger and thumb. The instant burn of pain told her what she needed to know. She wasn't dreaming. Life was starting to look up for her.

_Still, there are those times when it is the voice of reason. The one that says "You just made a huge mistake!_

The shoe in the middle of the floor was a large male one, the sort a guy would wear running. It wasn't her's. Addison didn't jog. And, even if she did, her foot was no where near that size. No, the shoe belonged to Mark. Just like the rest of the mess littering her floor belonged to him. A white Persian cat meowed at her amongst the mess. "I know, Princess, I know," Addison groaned. She never should have caved and let him move in. Never.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sneaking wasn't something George was good at. He had little practice, and the few times he had attempted to becoming accustomed to the habit it hadn't sat right with him. He liked to think it was because he was a good guy. A good guy who sometimes did bad things he shouldn't.

It was the confusion, he reasoned. He was confused about how he felt about Callie. She was pressing him, needing him to admit to feelings he didn't know he had. He need to talk to her, to figure out why she wanted so much so quickly and whether or not he could give it to her. He also needed to talk to Olivia.

Olivia. He hadn't planned on anything happening with her. He had bought her a drink, they had started talking, and one thing had led to another. He wasn't proud of it, but what was done was done. And now he was sneaking around. Avoiding talking to both women.

Taking a deep breath, he stuck his head out of the locker room door. For the most part nobody noticed him. He scanned around for an attending. His gaze landed on Addison. Perfect. Neither Olivia or Callie worked with her. "Dr. Montgomery!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

An odd expression crossed Derek's face as he lay the newspaper he had been reading down. "Well, that was interesting."

Meredith lifted one brow, her mouth working in a semi-circular motion as she chewed the last bite of pancake. "What?" she asked after she swallowed.

"Do you remember Weiss? My friend from New York?" Derek lift his coffee mug, taking a sip of the strong, dark liquid. He waited patiently as Meredith muddled through her thoughts, trying to remember a man she had only met in passing.

"Vaguely," Meredith answered, rising to take her sticky plate to the sink. "I was still the dirty ex-mistress back then."

Derek ignored the last, not wanting to go down that path again. "He sends me the Times."

Meredith's brows shot up again. "Hmm. That is nice," she murmured, reaching for the glass of juice Derek had poured for her minutes ago. She didn't care about The New York Times, that much was clear.

"I do have a point, you know," Derek laughed. She responded with another non committed noise. He shook his head. "I like to keep up with the Market. Nobody does it better than the Times." She made another noise, the glazed look in her green eyes telling him that he was losing her interest. He had to act quickly. "Today, I read the society page."

"That's nice," Meredith murmured, spinning her cup of juice in a lazy circle.

"Ask me what I saw," Derek teased. She sighed, then played along, asking him what he had seen. He doesn't answer her, instead he slid the paper across the table. She gasped when her gaze landed on the photograph beneath the headline "Prominent Plastic Surgeon to Wed Local Politicians Daughter." It was none other than Mark Sloan, his arm around the waist of a young blonde who looked barely out of high school.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The last intern Addison had ever expected to ask for her service was George O'Malley. Yet, there he was, right before her, attempting to do just that. "Dr. O'Malley, would you get to your point?" She asked after listening to the young man stutter his way around.

He smiled, a red tint creeping into his cheeks. "I know that we uh, well um…"

"Yes?" She was losing her patience. Today was a full day. She didn't have time for whatever it was that George was going. Either he was interested in Neo or he wasn't.

"Babies like me," he said finally. "I am great with babies. Ask anyone. They'll tell you."

"Are you saying you want to work Neo.?" Addison crossed her arms, her lips twitching as she attempted not to smile. George nodded. "Today or on a regular basis?"

He seemed torn. "Can we just play it by ear?" He asked weakly. She sighed, then consented. There was something more to him wanting to be on her service. Something more than him being good with babies. She would find out. She always found out. It was her gift. Or curse.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Meredith couldn't look away. She wanted to, but her gaze seemed glued to the image of Mark and the young blonde. "That rotten little snake," she hissed. She wasn't Addison's biggest fan, but nor did she hate her. No woman deserved what Mark was doing. Not Addison. Not the young woman in the photograph.

"Whose a snake," Izzie asked as she walked into the kitchen. Alex was close behind. It seemed as though the two were inseparable lately. Where Izzie was, Alex was close behind.

"Mark Sloan, that's who." She tapped the newspaper. "I wonder if she knows." 'She' being Addison. Regardless of their past, Meredith felt a bit sorry for the woman. The other woman seemed to genuinely care for Mark. To learn he was engaged to be married would be a slap in the face.

"Man, I don't envy him," Alex whistled as he peered at the picture. Meredith didn't either. Addison would rip him to shreds when she found out.

"Seriously, I mean I knew he was low, but this? This is a new low. Poor Addison," Izzie clucked her tongue, shaking her tongue. Meredith had to agree. What Mark had done was low.

Alex stared at them, a sheepish look on his face. "I was talking about the girl in the photo. Daddy must have a lot of money if he's willing to tie himself to a dog like that." The gasp that echoed in the kitchen could have come from Meredith or Izzie. "Sorry. I meant poor Addison."

Derek cleared his throat. "Well, it was nice while it lasted." Meredith shook her head, confused. "Not talking to Addison about non-work related things," he explained.

"You can't tell her," Meredith cried. She might feel sorry for Addison but there was no way in hell she was letting Derek break the news of Mark's engagement.

"Some one has to," Derek said defensively.

"Not you," Izzie interjected. Alex nodded his agreement, adding in that Addison was going to flip and having her ex-husband be the one to break the news might be more than she could handle. When he suggested Derek just let it be, Izzie scowled. "He can't. She has a right…a need…to know."

"Yes, but does Derek have to be the one to tell her?" Meredith pushed her hair off her face. "It's like Alex said, he's her ex-husband. Nobody wants to hear news like this from their ex-husband."

"She would think he was being petty," Izzie agreed. Petty didn't begin to cover it. She would think he was gloating, or worse that he was tautning her with an 'I told you so.' "I say you cut the article out and stick it in her mail box at work."

Meredith nodded. Izzie was brilliant. It was a perfect plan. Addison would know and Derek could feel better.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Be glad I have three c sections. Otherwise you would have to find someone else to hide behind."

George went still. Addison hadn't said much to him all morning. She had given her orders, then sent him on his way with instructions to find her when he was done checking over the patients. "I'm not hiding," he said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly. He couldn't' be sure.

"Mhmm. Sure." Addison smiled at him knowingly. He hated when she did that, like she could see all. It was disturbing.

"I'm not hiding," George insisted. He ducked behind a potted plant as Callie walked down an intersecting hallway. Addison stared at him, that smug smiling saying she knew better.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

There was only one way Alex wanted to spend his day off. And that was in bed. Naked. With Izzie. His lips quirk up at the corners. Izzie eyed him suspiciously. "What?" He shrugged. Her dark eyes narrowed. "Alex…"

"What?" He slid his hands onto her hips. She shook her head, the ends of her ponytail whispering across his forearm. "We're all alone," he reminded her in a husky voice.

"Which makes it the perfect time to talk." She ducked out of his embrace, moving to stand near the sink.

"We don't need to talk." Alex argued. That wasn't entirely true. They did need to talk. He just wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Alex, we need to talk," Izzie insisted. "You proposed. Accidentally. And I want to know why. I think I deserve to know why." If she hadn't placed one hand on her slightly rounded stomach he would have been able to skirt around the issue.

"I wanted to distract you from my father," he admitted. He was stunned when she nodded. "You knew?" Another nod. "If you knew then why ask?"

"Maybe we both needed to hear you admit it," Izzie sighed. "I'm not holding you to it, you know."

Alex waited for relief. None came. "Maybe I want you to hold me to it." He moved closer to where she stood. "It's not a bad idea, if you think about it. My insurance would cover you. And, whether we like it or not, we can't live with Meredith for much longer. I seriously doubt her and Shepherd are going to want a newborn waking them up all hours of the night. Plus, the baby would have us both."

Izzie frowned. "He has us both now."

"It isn't the same. You know that. What about when he gets older? All his friends will have a mom and dad." Alex watched her face. She remained void of emotions, only her dark eyes showing that her mind was working over time.

"So will he," Izzie said defensively. "We don't have to be married to raise him together."

"I know that, but-"

Izzie cut him off. "But what? I appreciate what you're trying to do. It means a lot to me that you would even ask, no matter how accidentally. I just can't see myself getting married for those reason alone though. Especially not when I love-"

Anger coursed through him. Of course. It all made sense now. She wouldn't marry him because he wasn't Denny. He was good enough to play daddy to her baby. He was good enough to fuck. He just wasn't good enough to spend the rest of her life with. "Fine. I get it." He stormed from the kitchen, blocking out the rest of what Izzie was trying to say.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Curiosity had plagued Meredith most of the day. Now that her shift was a third of the way over, her need to know was almost unbearable. Catching sight of Derek alone, she half ran, half walked to him. "Did you do it?"

He looked up, startled. "Did I do what?"

Sighing, Meredith resisted the urge to grab his shoulders and shake him. He couldn't have forgotten. He just couldn't have. "The clipping. Did you…" She waved her hand, not wanting to voice the question allowed, lest someone be listening.

"Yes," Derek answered, sliding the image he had been studying back into the manila envelope that was below it.

Meredith started to ask when but stopped. Heading straight for them was a red faced Addison. The clipping was clutched in her hand. "Derek!" Her pace quickened. "Did you do this? Did you put this in my box?"

"Addison," Derek started. Addison shook her head, asking him to just answer the question. "Yes. Weiss sent it. I thought you should know."

"Right. More like you wanted to gloat. The adulterous bitch gets what is coming to her. Right?" Addison sobbed, her crystal blue eyes swimming. "I'm sure you love that. I'm miserable, and you're happy!"

Biting her lip, Meredith eased away. This wasn't her business. Her curiosity was no longer peaked. She didn't want to witness Addison's down fall. It was too painful, too much like the time when Derek had chosen Addison over her.

She blinked when she spotted George standing near the nurses station. "George," she called. He looked up, then narrowed his eyes. "Where have you been?"

"You left twenty messages Mer," George accused. She ignored him, once again asking where he had been. "You're not my mom."

"Are you feeling okay?" She had never known him to act so defensively. Not toward her at any rate. And she hadn't left twenty messages. More like twelve. He had been gone for two days. It hadn't been like him. She had been concerned. "You were gone, and nobody knew where you were."

"What do you mean nobody knew? Who all did you ask?" She winced, then admitted she had called his mom and then Callie. His face blanched. "You called Callie?"

"I was worried. I assumed you were with her," Meredith wrinkled her brow, confused as to why he was acting the way he was. It wasn't like him. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'd be even better if you would butt out of my life!"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The decision was made. It hadn't been an easy one. Izzie wasn't even sure it was the right one. At the moment though, it was the only one. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on Alex's door. "Can I come in?" She waited for his growl of approval before opening the door. "I'm sorry."

"For what? Telling the truth? That you're still in love with Denny?" There was no missing the accusation, as well as the hurt, in his voice.

"No. Yes." Izzie pushed her hair off her face. She had so many things running through her mind, the least of which was Denny. "Listen, a part of me is always going to love Denny. I'm not going to apologize for that. He was an important part of my life. That doesn't mean you're not important to me as well. Or that I don't have feelings for you. Because I do. I have feelings for you. Strong feelings. And if the only way I can prove that to you is by marrying you, then fine. I'll marry you.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The moment George threw the accusation at Meredith he regretted it. It wasn't he fault he had cheated on his girlfriend. She had been trying to be a good friend, had acted out of concern. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." Meredith twisted her hands together. "So, are you going to tell me?"

"Um, I don't know." George glanced down. Could he tell her? "You can't say anything, okay?" Meredith nodded. "I'm serious."

"I figured you were," Meredith assured him, her green eyes wide with concern. He inhaled deeply, then let it loose. He spilled out the whole story. Of meeting Olivia at the bar, of going home with her and spending the next 48 hours in bed.

"Wait. By in bed you mean…" He nodded. Yes. He did mean. Meredith's mouth formed a small Oh. "You slept with Olivia?" The disbelief in her voice echoed in the small office. Neither of them seen Callie standing on the other side of the glass, her face pale.

_So, we look in the mirror. We see our reflection. And it tells us the truths we just don't want to face..._


	9. Too Good To Last

_Too good to be last. How many times have we all heard that? Me, more than I would like!_

It took a moment for Derek's words to sink in. When they did, Meredith wasn't quite sure she understood them. "What do you mean, sell this house?"

"Just that. Sell the house. We can build one on the lake." The cheerful smile on Derek's face brought a scowl to her's. He made it sound so simple. Showed what he knew.

"And where would we live until then," Meredith demanded. She let out a shriek when he said the trailer.

_That is life though. Right? Having to face disappointment. Not getting our way._

Twisting the coiled phone cord around her index finger, Izzie nervously chewed her lips. It had been months since she had spoken to her mom. "Hey mom." She smiled weakly when her mother called her Cricket and asked how she had been. "Good. I'm getting married." She blinked when her mother asked if she was pregnant. "Well, yeah, but…" Her mouth dropped open. "Seriously? You're going to go there?" She pressed her lips into a thin white line, listening as her mother bemoaned the fact that the only reason this man, whoever he might be, was marrying her was out of obligation and did Izzie really want to be that desperate. "I'm not you," she said coldly. "And Alex isn't Dad." She didn't wait for her mother to say anything else, she slammed the phone down.

_And what about when you're the one who does the disappointing? How hard is that? Knowing you failed some one you were suppose to care about. _

Apologizing was getting him no where. Not that George had expected it to. He had to keep trying, though. He really was sorry. He was sorry Callie had found out. He was sorry she had been hurt. Most of all, he was sorry that he didn't regret it.

"I really, really am sorry," George said lowly. From the corner of his eye he spotted Olivia exiting the nurses lounge. He couldn't help but stare.

Callie laughed bitterly. "Right George. You're just so sorry. I have a hard time believing that. Especially when you keep staring at her that way!"

_Yep. That's life alright. We think everything is great, then we have to face the fact that it is too good to last. _

The smile that tipped the corners of Cristina's mouth was on the scary side. It seemed a bit too happy. Since Cristina was seldom happy, it was cause for concern. It had the nurses eying her wearily and the attending watching her carefully. If Cristina was happy, there had to be a reason; and that reason was most likely not good. "Isn't it a great day," she said as she breezed into the crowded locker room. She wasn't greeted with the warm welcome she had been half way expecting. Instead, she was bombarded with the various problems that had developed in her friends lives.

"He wants me to live in that trailer. That nasty, smell trailer. The one he shared with her," Meredith hissed. Her green eyes were two narrow slits. She slammed her locker shut, then wheeled around.

George slumped down on the bench before the row of lockers. "I'm a sorry ass. A complete and total ass."

Cristina blinked. She started to ask Meredith why Derek wanted her to move out to the trailer, then shifted her focus to George. She was so torn. The friend in her wanted to demand to know why Derek was pressuring her to move in; the twisted side of her wanted to torment George on what an ass he was. She was saved from making a choice when Alex dumped his load on their laps.

"I'm not good enough for trailer house Betty," Alex growled, yanking his locker open. His scowl disappeared as he pulled his dark green Henley over his head, and reappeared when he was free from the shirt.

"Who?" Cristina blinked, losing her smile for the first time since she had arrived. She felt like she was in a twilight zone. Usually it was one of her friends who were bright and shiny, and she was the dark, twisty one. Something was not right with this situation.

"Izzie's mom," Alex snarled, shoving his faded blue jeans down his hips. On another day Cristina would have enjoyed taunting him with the red lips that were all over his boxers.

"Why would I sell a perfectly good house and go live in a dumpy little trailer? Nobody in their right mind does that. He's crazy to even ask," Meredith cried, twisting her long, blonde-brown hair into a messy bun at the back of her head.

"What was I thinking?" George mourned. "You know what, I don't think I was. I think I might have lost my mind temporarily."

"Not only am I not good enough, Izzie's mom is refusing to come to the wedding." The sound of Alex's locker slamming shut echoed in the tiled room.

Cristina blinked when she realized he had already donned his scrubs. She watched as he looped his stethoscope around his neck, trying to recall if anyone she knew was getting married. "Whose wedding," she eventually asked.

"Alex's and Izzie's," Meredith answered.

George's head jerked up. "Wait. You're getting married? To Izzie" Cristina was relieved to know she wasn't the only person who had been in the dark on the upcoming nuptials.

"Maybe," Alex muttered. "Izzie's all worked up over what her mom said. She's talking a bit crazy."

OOOOOOOO

Izzie hesitated outside the chief's office door. She takes a deep breath, then knocked. She could have gone right in, his secretary had told her to. It was habit to knock, though, and it gave her another moment to gather herself together.

"Dr. Stevens," Richard Webber greeted her warmly when she finally stepped into the large office.

"Dr. Webber," Izzie breathed, lowering her body into the chair he had indicated.

He leaned his body forward, resting on his forearms. "Can I assume you are here about getting your job back?"

"Kind of," Izzie started, chewing her lip. She wasn't sure about her mission now. It had seemed like a good idea, but now, sitting before him, she wasn't sure. "I mean, that's one of the reasons I am here, but not the only one."

"Alright," Webber nodded, smiling at her warmly.

"I do want to come back. Not until February though." She had thought long and hard about when to return. At first she had thought to come back right away, then Alex pointed out she would have to take another break when the baby was born. They had both agreed, it would be best to wait until after the baby was born, then she would come back. She nodded when he asked if she realized how far behind that would put her. She was aware, all to aware. It was for the best though. He nodded, said he understood why she wanted to wait, assured her that she could come back, so long as there wasn't a repeat of before. "No, no repeats of that," she assured him.

OOOOOOOO

"Her dad is even worse. A total bum. I don't get how two people like that could produce someone like Izzie." Alex shrugged into his lab coat. "I guess I don't have any room to talk, though. My family isn't exactly the picture of domestic bliss either."

"Bliss," George sighed. "I kind of had that with Callie. Until I slept with Olivia."

Cristina quirked her brows up. "You slept with Olivia? Again? What are you? Syph happy?"

"It still wreaks of that horrible flower perfume Addison likes to wear. I am not going to bed smelling his like his ex-wife," Meredith snapped. She stepped over George's outstretched legs.

"It wasn't Olivia's fault. Alex-"

Alex cut him off. "Dude, leave me out of it." George snorted, saying it was only the truth. "Maybe. Maybe not. Olivia isn't exactly the virgin Mary." From the corner of his eye he spotted Izzie in the locker room doorway. She looked less tense than she had that morning. "I'm out," he called, walking out of the locker room.

"Great. Just great," George moaned. "I cheated on my girlfriend with the Naughty Nurse."

"Sucks to be you," Cristina snickered, pleased that she had finally been able to get a dig in. She had been waiting for it. And God it felt good. George scowled at her, then slunk out.

OOOOOOO

Stepping into the hall, Cristina tried to make heads or tails of what had just transpired in the locker room. It was as though she had stepped into a parallel universe. The people who had just bombarded her with their many issues were not the people she knew. The people she knew didn't care. They took their problems and shoved them.

"Yang." She jumped slightly, then let her body relax as Dr. Bailey approached. The resident eyed her for a moment, her dark eyes boring into her soul. It was eerie, the way Bailey could look at a person and just know things. "You look like a lost puppy. It's disturbing."

"This morning has been disturbing," Cristina muttered.

"Here," Bailey shoved an arm load of files into her unsuspecting, but more than eager, hands. "I've got more than I can handle. Mr. Jones in 2304 needs his catheter out. Mrs. Ramsey in 2978 needs her staples taken out, then released. Miss. Jameson in 1506 needs her bandages changed. And don't forget to go over the post op notes. They're messy. I don't like messy." Bailey narrowed her eyes. "You get all that Yang?"

"Of course," Cristina lied. She forced a smile.

OOOOOOO

A wave of sadness washed over Izzie as she watched Alex leave to make rounds. While she would miss him, her sadness was more from missing the job. She hadn't realized just how much she missed being a doctor until now. She let out a wistful sigh, then walked over to the nurses station, where Callie sat reading a file. "Long time no see," she greeted.

"I know. Might stay that way to," Callie scowled. Izzie blinked, taken aback by the distant sound in Callie's voice. They weren't the best of friends, but they had formed a friendship. Callie must have sense her confusion, because she asked "You don't know?"

Izzie shook her head. "Know what?"

Callie sighed, her dark eyes glazing over. "George and I broke up," she said woodenly.

"What!" Izzie gaped at her. How could she have missed that? She knew that she had been wrapped up in her own life, her own problems, but how had she missed her friends breaking up. "Why?"

"Because, she" Callie nodded in Olivia's direction, "does things for him that I can't."

Izzie felt her body go still. Olivia. It had been because of Olivia that things had ended with Alex the first time. It had been because of Olivia that her best friend had contracted syphilis, and apparently cheated on his girlfriend. She licked her lips, then walked closer to where the red haired nurse was standing. "You can't get a man of your own, can you? That's why you keep screwing with everyone else's."

OOOOOOOOO

Derek brushed a lock of Meredith's hair from cheek, then pressed a kiss to the soft skin. "Missed you," he whispered. She muttered some sort inaudible growl. "Burke is back today."

"No," Meredith said vehemently.

"Yes," Derek counter acted. He chuckled, leaning down for another kiss. She side stepped, repeating No again. "Meredith…"

"Not Burke. No, I will not sell my house. It's mine. It's my house. And you can't make me sell it!" Meredith's voice gradually raised. She lifted her chin, then, grabbing up a nearby stack of charts, she stormed off.

Derek looked over to Debbie, his lips twitching from the effort of trying not to smile. The older nurse shrugged. He couldn't resist calling after her. "Does this mean you don't want to move out to the trailer?" The nasty look she sent him said it all.

OOOOOOOO

Annoyance still coursed through Meredith's veins as she entered the first patient's room. There was something vaguely familiar about the man sitting in the chair by the window. She looked at the chart, then looked up again, a bit surprised. Two things struck her at once. First, he was the man who had been chasing Alex all last week. Second, his last name was Karev.

"Good morning Mr. Karev. How are you feeling this morning?" She tried to keep her shock out of her voice.

Daniel Karev smiled weakly. "About as well as a man dying can feel."

OOOOOOOOO

They were there. All of them. George felt like a trapped animal. And he had no choice but to go up to that nurses desk. The one he feared the most though, was Izzie. The look on her face said it all. She knew and she wouldn't be letting him off easily.

"George, I've just had the most interesting conversation. Callie is under the impression that you slept with Olivia. Now, I know that she must be confused, because you would never sink that low. Would you George? Would you sink love enough to risk another bout of syphilis?" He had been right. Izzie wasn't going to let him off. Worse, she was calling him out now. It was like she could smell his fear.

.

George gulped, his blue eyes darting around for some form of escape. He spotted Addison. Relief coursed through him. He ran after her." Dr. Montgomery!"

"You're a coward George and we're not done discussing this!" Izzie yelled after him.

OOOOOOOO

Meredith read over the chart, her stomach twisting in knots. She didn't know much about Alex's family, only that things were not what they should be. "Your chart says you have Cirrhosis of the liver." She didn't voice what the rest of the chart said. That he had been an alcoholic for over thirty years, and had used intravenous drugs.

"You would be correct," Daniel chuckled bitterly. "Kind of fitting don't you think?"

"Pardon?" Meredith couldn't keep the shock out of her voice this time.

"I clean up my life just in time to find out I'm dying, as the result of the very things I was trying to leave behind. Can't escape your past." He scrubbed a hand down his face. "My only son won't talk to me either. Won't give me the satisfaction of seeing that smug smirk when I tell him he won't have to worry about me butting into his life because pretty soon I'll be dead. He'd enjoy that, I'm sure."

Meredith opened her mouth to defend Alex. They clearly did not know the same man. She couldn't see Alex being so cold to his father, no matter what their past was, once he learned the man was dying.

"Don't talk like that, Daddy!" A dark haired girl with Alex's hazel eyes walked in. "You heard Dr. Hahn. They could still find you a donor."

Mandy, my girl, we both know-"

Mandy cut in, "We don't know anything. Maybe I could talk to Alex. Maybe he-"

"No," Daniel said sharply. "I did this to myself. I'll live, or rather die, with the consequences. You leave your brother out of this, you hear me Mandy?"

OOOOOOOO

"Dr. Burke," Alex greeted as he entered the O.R., already scrubbed and ready to go. It had seemed like forever since he had worked with Dr. Burke, he rather looked forward to it. Seeing Burke here explained Cristina's eerie happiness earlier. Despite his own issues, he had noticed.

Burke looked up from arranging his scalpels. "Karev. Am I to take it you're the intern scrubbing in?"

Burke: (looking up from arranging his scalpels) Karev. Am I to take it you're the intern scrubbing in?

"That would be me," Alex confirmed. He took his position across the table, eying a nurse until she moved out of his way. "Mind if I ask you something?"

"Ask away," Burke murmured as he made the first incision.

"You and Yang, you're from different backgrounds right? I mean, Yang's this spoiled rich girl, and you, well you're you. How'd you get past the family differences? Cause right now, running is looking really good."

Burke chuckled. "Met the parents have you?"

"Not exactly. They hate me sight unseen. Won't even come see us get married." Alex frowned. He supposed he could understand why they disliked him, but who were they to judge? Izzie's dad was a laid off mine worker who lived in a rented room and drank too much beer. Her mom was a truck stop waitress who believed in psychics. Apparently one of her "friends" had told her that her daughter should not marry the first man to ask her to marry him. He wanted to point out that he hadn't been the first, Denny had, but Izzie had stopped him, saying they were not going to feed into her mother's craziness.

"So you and Stevens are getting married are you?" Burke turned to a nurse, asking her for more suction.

"Maybe," Alex muttered.

"Stevens know it's only maybe?" Burked glanced at him from across the patient. There was no humor in the man's eyes. Alex had almost forgotten about how close Burke had become to Izzie during their care of Denny.

"She's having doubts to," Alex assured him. "I think we're both just confused. Love her, but I'm confused as hell. That's normal right?" Burke chuckled, then nodded.

OOOOOOOO

The very person Meredith wanted to see was walking down the hall toward her. Golden curls bouncing, a Styrofoam cup in one hand, Izzie seemed lost in her own little world. "Izzie," Meredith called. Her friend blinked, then smiled. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Sure. Is this about you selling the house?" Izzie pursed her lips around the straw, drawing in a long drink of something red. Some sort of juice no doubt.

"I'm not selling the house," Meredith snapped. Izzie stared at her, her face frozen in a mask of shock. "Sorry. I'm a little touchy about that subject right now. Listen, do you think you could do me a favor?"

"Yeah. So long as it doesn't involve my mother I'm good to go. And, if it involves doing something tonight, let me talk to Alex first, we have plans and…"

She is cut off by Mandy exiting Daniel's room. Meredith had hoped to talk to Izzie alone. "You know Alex?"

Izzie stared at the girl in confusion. "Yes," she answered slowly. Meredith didn't blame her for being reluctant. With Alex's past, there was no telling who the girl might be. "I'm sorry, do you know him?"

"Yes," Mandy said, her tone rather abrupt. She drummed her fingers impatiently on her thigh. "I really need to talk to him. It's important."

"Really? Important how?" Meredith could see the alarms going off in Izzie's head. She knew she had to step in, say something.

"Izzie, I would like to meet Alex's sister Mandy," Meredith stressed the sister. She turned to Mandy. "And this is Izzie. Alex's fiancée."

Mandy blinked, her mouth open and shutting like a fish. Her eyes were glued to Izzie's stomach. "So you're…"

"Pregnant," Izzie finished for her. "And I thought Alex's sister was named Jennifer."

"I'm his younger sister. Jen's the oldest." Mandy crossed her arms, turning to look at Meredith. "Do you think she could get him to listen? To help?"

OOOOOOOOO

The surgery had been a success. Not that there had been any doubt. Burke was amazing. And even though cardio wasn't something he was interested in, Alex never stopped admiring the other man. He soaped up his hands, washing the smell of latex and blood away. As he finished rinsing Dr. Hahn walked in.

"Burke," she nodded to the attending, then turned to Alex. "Dr. Karev, I need to speak with you.

"Uh, sure," Alex shot Burke a questioning look. Burke shrugged, then turned his attention back to scrubbing. "Now?"

"Yes, now," Dr. Hahn insisted. She led him out into the hall. "Are you Daniel Karev's son?"

"I try not to think of myself that way, but yeah, last I heard he donated the sperm." Alex wrinkled his brow. Why the hell was Dr. Hahn asking him about his father?

"Are you aware that he has Cirriohsis?"

Alex couldn't help the bitter laugh. "Go figure. All those years are finally catching up to him, huh?"

Dr. Hahn frowned. "I don't see anything funny about a man dying."

OOOOOOOO

Disbelief swirled around Izzie. She had kept quiet while Mandy told her tale. Confliction played tug of war with her emotions. She was so torn. She felt for Mandy, knew what it was like to lose someone close. Yet, despite that, she couldn't help but think about the hell Daniel Karev had put Alex through. "I see where you are coming form, I really do. Alex doesn't even want to talk to your father. I don't see him willingly offering to help him."

Mandy let out a frustrated shriek. God, he's so selfish. He always has been." Her young age was starting to show. She had seemed older than her nineteen years until now. Now, she seemed younger. "I swear, him and Jennifer both. They don't ever stop living in the past."

"Given the past, do you really blame them?" Izzie demanded. The hell Alex and his sisters had been through sent chills down her spine.

"I grew up in the same house. If I can forgive him, then so can they." Mandy paced to and fro. "He's changed though, Izzie. Our dad has changed. He's sorry for the things he's done."

"And that is suppose to make it all okay? Your dad says he is sorry and that makes it all hunky dory?" Izzie shook her head. "Because of your dad, Alex doesn't believe me when I say I love him. He doesn't think he deserves to be loved. He's afraid to even say the words."

"You can't blame that on our father," Mandy said defensively. "Alex is…look, you don't know what you are talking about. You don't know Alex very well."

"No, it's you that doesn't know Alex," Izzie said softly, before turning and walking away. She didn't have to listen to any more.

OOOOOOOO

This was one conversation Meredith wasn't looking forward to. She took a deep breath, then called Alex's name. The scowl he sent her almost deterred her from her mission. She had left Izzie talking to Mandy, deciding to speak with Alex herself. She was Daniel's doctor, it was her responsibility to talk to the family about options. "We need to talk."

"Not really in the mood, Grey." Alex scowled.

"It's about your dad," Meredith said carefully. The stony expression that came over her face answered her question before she even asked. He knew. She didn't know how he knew, but he did. "Some one told you, then?"

"Dr. Hahn. And no, I'm not going to be tested. For all I care the man can die. It's not anything he doesn't deserve," Alex snapped.

"You don't mean that," Meredith gasped. This wasn't her friend. This wasn't the man she felt a connection with. She didn't know this man. And that scared her, because for a split second she wondered if maybe, just maybe, Mandy was right. She shook her head. No. She didn't know all the facts and she was sure that Alex had a good reason for reacting this way.

"Actually, Meredith, I do. The man brought it on. He pickled his liver. Let him live with the results," Alex turned his face in the opposite direction. This was effecting him more than he was letting on. She could tell.

"Maybe he can. Maybe he knows everything just said. But what about you? Will you be able to live with yourself if he dies and come to find out you could have helped him?" She knew she was crossing a line, because when a patient or family member said no that was exactly what it meant. She wasn't a doctor right now, though, and Alex wasn't just a loved one. She was just Meredith, and Alex was her friend.

"Yeah, I will. Know why?" She shook her head. "I stopped fooling myself where he was concerned. He was always going to change. And he did. Until he got bored. Then hey, forget the wife and kids, time to go party it up with the boys. When that was no longer fun, time to come home and blame the family." His voiced held a coldness she had never heard before. She took a step back. "So, yeah, Grey, if he dies, I can live with myself. Why don't you ask him if he can live with what he's done?"

OOOOOOOOO

Setting down the finished charts, Cristina spotted Izzie sitting outside Addison's office. It was evident that she had been crying. "You have five seconds," Cristina said, sitting next to the other woman.

"What?" Izzie looked at her confused. Cristina sighed, then explained Izzie had five seconds of sympathy so she had best use it wisely. "I hate family. They ruin everything."

"Mine tends to do that," Cristina agreed. She shifted in her seat, impatiently waiting for Izzie to get to her point.

"I don't get it. Why does she want him to talk to that monster? All he did was make Alex feel worthless." Izzie's jaw tightened, her face turning the color of a tomato. "You heard right? That Alex's asshole father is here?"

"I heard," Cristina lied. She hadn't heard, but Izzie didn't need to know that. She didn't need or want an explanation. Especially if it was one that would make her feel sorry for Evil Spawn. She grimaced when she noticed Izzie's agitated state. "Don't you think you should calm down?" She looked pointedly at Izzie's stomach.

"Yes. No. Yes. Ugh." Izzie slumped in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. Her chest heaved up and down, her lips pressed into a thin line. She made no effort to calm down.

"Seriously, you need to just calm down." Cristina repeated. Izzie gave her a nasty look, then sat straight up, gasping. "What! Oh God, seriously I am not the person you need right now. I don't do babies." She started to stand, to yell for some one to page Dr. Montgomery.

"I'm fine. Or I would be if someone would stay out of my ribs!" Izzie glared down at her stomach. "I swear, every day this kid gets bigger and rougher. My ribs are going to be bruised by the time December gets here."

"Better you than me," Cristina snickered.

Izzie smirked. "Just wait. You're turn is coming."

"Take that back," Cristina gasped. Burke had hinted at a baby. She wasn't baby having material though. If he wanted kids he was looking to the wrong person to have them.

OOOOOOOO

For a split second, while he was standing outside his father's hospital room, Alex felt like a scared little boy. It had been years since he had felt this way. Years since the ball had formed in his stomach, and his throat had closed off. Silently he reminded himself that his father no longer had any control over him. With this in mind, he entered the room. Neither of them spoke. His father sat in the chair, a newspaper spread across his lap, while he stood just inside.

"I'm not going to take the test," Alex said at last. Daniel closed the newspaper, not looking up. "Did you hear me? I said I'm not taking the test. You could beg me and I wouldn't take it."

"I heard you," Daniel said gruffly. "Didn't figure you would."

"Why here? Why now?" Alex demanded. His father hadn't been living in Washington. He knew. He had checked. The man had chosen to come here, all the way from Los Angeles. There had to be a reason.

"Heard this place was the best," Daniel muttered. He looked up with bloodshot eyes. "This wasn't my idea. Mandy thought…well it doesn't really matter does it. You're not taking the test."

"I'm not taking the test," Alex repeated. The old man looked different, less scary some how. In fact, if Alex hadn't known who he was, he wouldn't have recognized him.

"So I've gathered," Daniel's mouth turned up at the corners. "Heard you're getting married."

Alex stilled. He had known word of Izzie and the baby they were expecting would reach his father, he had just hoped the old man would have enough respect for him to not bring them up. They were the only good in his life, and he didn't want them tarnished by the ugliness that was his father. "Who told you that?"

"Mandy. Said the woman was real nice. Pretty blonde with brown eyes." Daniel groaned as he stood. His body was no longer that of a younger man, but one of a sick, older one. "Heard she was pregnant too. That why you're marrying her? If so, that's no reason to get married."

"I don't need advice from you," Alex snapped. "I've gotten this far in my life without it."

"You did good for yourself. Heard you're a real good doctor. I'm proud."

At one time those words would have meant the world to him. Now, they did nothing but throw gasoline on an already burning fire of hate. "You don't get to be proud. You don't get to take any credit for where I am. I'm here because I got here. Me. Nobody else." He hadn't meant for his voice to raise, hadn't even realized it had until Bailey stepped into the room.

"Karev. Hallway. Now."

Alex hesitated in the doorway, looking back at his father one last time. "I'd say have a nice life but we both know that isn't possible."

"Go on, keep your hate." Daniel shook his head, a brief look of sadness washing over his face.

"Sorry to disappoint you old man, but I don't feel anything where you're concerned. I stopped feeling anything towards you a long time ago."

OOOOOOOOO

The tension in the kitchen was almost more than Derek could stand. Meredith hadn't been too welcoming when he invited himself over after work. He supposed it was his own fault, pressuring her the way he did about their living arrangements.

"We could rent out the house," he suggested after he grew tired of Meredith's silent treatment. He didn't see why this was such an issue. She often complained about the house, about the bad memories it held.

She narrowed her eyes. "Or, we could just sell the land."

He sighed. "Meredith…I'm tired, okay. I'm tired of fighting over this. I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want us to have a home that is our's. Is that to much to ask?"

She seemed to mull over what he said, her lips twisted to one side. "We'll build a house on the land," she said slowly, "but I'm not selling my house. I'm not ready to do that."

OOOOOOOOO

Izzie curled on her side against Alex. He had been so quiet since coming home. She stroked his jaw line with the tip of her finger, then tentatively asked him how he felt. She knew it was pushing things, that he needed space and time to deal with this, but she couldn't hold back. She was concerned. She couldn't help if she didn't know what he was thinking or feeling.

"Free," Alex said quietly. "I feel like I am finally free."

She didn't know what she had been expecting, but it wasn't that. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I finally got to say the things I needed to say to him." He didn't sound very convinced, but she didn't push for more. "Iz?" She lifted her head, staring down at him. "I love you."

"I know," she murmured, her lips lifting into a bright smile. "It's nice to finally hear you say it though."

_Too good too last. Who ever came up with that obviously never lived. The bad times, the fights, the mistakes...they just make the good times last that much longer..._


	10. Bad Day

[i]Bad days, we all have them. We wake up, can't find our favorite pair of jeans, or something equally silly, and the whole day is shot. [/i]

Panic coursed through Izzie's veins. This couldn't be happening. Not to her. Not on something this important. Not when she had been so specific. "I said I wanted lemon flavored, not lemon colored. Who has bright yellow frosting on a wedding cake?" She gritted her teeth, her hand tightening on the phone handset. "No, I'm not paying extra for you to make another cake. You made the mistake, not me!" She slid off the bar stool she had been sitting on and paced the length of the kitchen. She listened intently as the woman on the other line rambled off the various reasons why an extra charge would be applied. "Keep the cake. I'm not paying for something that I don't want!"

[i]Why is that? Why do we let little, insignificant things ruin what could be a wonderful day? [/i]

This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't be. Gulping Izzie fought the urge to cry. She turned on the ball of her foot and face Meredith and Alex, who were sitting at the breakfast table. "They messed up the cake. They messed up the cake and it's bright yellow." Alex shrugged. She blinked. He had shrugged. Her lips parted. This was their cake, she had just told him it was messed up, and all he did was shrug? "Alex our cake is bright yellow!"

He shrugged again. "It's just a cake, Iz." She let out a small, angry shriek. "What?"

The sun is out. The birds are cheeping. Life seems to be just peachy keen for everyone else. Yet, you have this dark cloud over your head that you can't get rid of.

Izzie turned her desperate gaze to Meredith. Meredith would understand. Meredith would be on her side. To her astonishment, Meredith shrugged as well. "He's right. It's just a cake.

"It's not just a cake. It's my wedding cake. And it has to be perfect." Her voice raised an octave, her fists curling into balls at her sides.

"Our," Alex corrected, "our wedding cake. And why is it such a big deal? It's cake. People eat it. As long as it tastes good, nobody cares what it looks like."

[i]Before we know it, the whole world seems angry with you.[/i]

With a mixture of apprehension and smidgeon of hope, George approached Callie. He missed her. He hadn't realized how important she was to him until it was too late. "Callie," he said carefully.

Her dark eyes were cold when she looked up from the chart she was reading. "Dr. Torres," she said coolly.

"Why?" George blinked.

"Read the name tag, Dr. O'Malley. It says Dr. Torres." She snapped. He blinked again, repeating her first name. He hadn't meant to. He was confused. Deeply, confused. "Dr. O'Malley, as a professional curtsy, and your superior, I would appreciate it if you wouldn't use my given name."

"Callie," he said again, mentally cursing himself for being so stupid as to say her first name again when clearly it was just making her angrier.

"Don't make this harder than it already is…George," she hoarsely.

There was no way around it. Alex would have to apologize. He didn't actually see the need, but he didn't like the idea of going to work with the cake issue hanging over his head. Not when it had Izzie so worked up. "I'm sorry," he said softly, placing his hands on her shoulders. Her body was so rigid, so tense. It couldn't be good, not for her or the baby.

"Fine. You're sorry. It doesn't fix the cake problem though," Izzie sniffed.

"You could make it," Alex suggested in an attempt to help. It was the wrong thing to say. He realized it the moment the words left his mouth. Meredith shaking her head violently should have also been a dead give away.

"You want me to make my own cake?" Izzie twisted in her seat, stared up at him in disbelief. "It's bad enough that I'm going to look like white blimp walking down the aisle, but now you want me to bake my own cake?"

"Should have just kept with the sorry," Meredith muttered.

"I just thought," Alex stopped. What was the use? Nothing he said was helping. If anything he was making matters worse.

"That's just it! You don't think. You say the first idiot thing that pops into your head!" Izzie yelled.

"Wow, look at the time," Meredith glanced down at her watch, then stood up. "I'll see you at work," she called to Alex before sailing from the room.

Callie drummed her fingers on the side of her leg. "Am I your resident?" She asked. He shot her another confused look. Great. "Do I look like Dr. Bailey? No. So unless you have been reassigned, we have nothing to say to each other."

"That isn't fair," George cried. "Will you at least listen to what I have to say?"

"Did you, or did you not sleep with Olivia?" Callie demanded. She hated asking him, hated that he would answer her with a yes. He hesitated, then nodded. "Then we have nothing to say to each other."

A smile stretched across Derek's lips when he spotted Meredith kicking a vending machine. She already wore the baby blue scrubs that marked her as an intern, and her long, dark blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail, half of it escaping around her face.

"Good morning," Derek called as he approached. She turned, falling back against the candy machine.

"Morning, yes. Good, not hardly." Meredith crouched down, reached her fingers into the slot that dispensed the candy and pulled out a bag of Skittles.

"My, aren't we in a fine mood this morning," Derek teased. Her deadpan face had the smile faltering on his lips.

"Oh, don't you start. I've had enough of the little comments already," Meredith snipped.

He gapped at her. What had gotten into her? When he had spoken to her earlier that morning she had been in a good mood. "What? What did I say? Did I do something to upset you?"

She vaulted away from the vending machine, her package of candy clasped in her fist. "Men, you're all the same. It's all about you. If we don't want yellow icing, you think we should just bake the cake ourselves. If we have a bad morning, then you take credit for that as well."

"Cake? Yellow icing?" Derek ran a hand through his hair. "Am I missing something?"

"Yes," Meredith cried. "Which you would know if you had bothered to come home last night!"

"I had an emergency surgery," Derek said, slightly baffled. He had called. He had told her. She had seemed alright with it. What had changed since then?

"I'll just bet you did," Meredith bit out before shoving past him.

"I did," Derek called after her weakly.

"Callie," George called after her. He started to follow, to make her hear him out, but Olivia stepped in front of him. "Not now," he said, trying to step around her. She wouldn't budge.

"You never said you had a girlfriend," Olivia accused. There was a mixture of anger and hurt brewing in her large eyes. "If I had known, I would never have…"

"Not now," George repeated, cutting her off.

"Oh, I get it. You can have sex with me, but you can't explain yourself?" Olivia shook her head, disappointment being added to the anger and hurt. "I never pegged you as one of those guys, George."

George watched as she stormed off in the opposite direction of Callie. He hadn't realized he was one of those guys either.

The price of cake was mind boggling. It was also high way robbery. "How much extra to get it done by Saturday?" Alex whispered. He should have been making rounds, but the cake seemed to be first priority where Izzie was concerned, which meant he had best at least make an effort. "$700?" His brow wrinkled as the man on the other end of the phone went in a long winded recitation of each charge. $200 extra for not giving him a three week notice, $100 for delivery and set up, and $400 just for the cake. "Are you insane?"

"Karev," Bailey barked from behind him. He waved her off, running a hand through his short hair. "Karev," she barked again, this time with more edge.

"Hold on," he said into the phone. He covered the mouth piece, then looked at Bailey. "What?"

"What? You want to ask what? I'll tell you what, Burke needs an intern. Which is what you are." Bailey shook her head, disgust clearly written on her features. Alex nodded, muttered okay, then started to uncover the mouth piece. "Go. Now."

"I am," Alex insisted. He frowned when the baker asked where the cake needed to be. "No. Wait. I didn't agree to that price. I'm not paying that for a cake."

"Karev, I don't know who you're talking to but when I say Burke needs an intern in O.R. 8 that means you, the intern, go to O.R. 8." Bailey snatched the phone from his hand.

"Please don't hang up on him," Alex begged. "Izzie pissed off the other baker, and nobody else in town has the time. I need this guy."

Bailey eyed him. "You're ordering a wedding cake four days before your wedding?" He nodded weakly. "Are you insane?"

"No, but I think Izzie might be. So, please, don't hang up on that guy. Get him to come off his price, maybe throw in free delivery, but don't hang up on him," Alex pleaded.

"How much are you wanting?" Bailey bit into the phone. Her eyes narrowed. "I know a bakery who'll not only make the cake by that day, but deliver and set up for less than $500."

She was bluffing. Alex could tell. She had the same look on her face that she wore when she told families that their loved one was holding their own. "Please," he whispered fervently. She shot him a look that told him he had best go. Now. Reluctantly, he did so, but not before he heard Bailey tell his last hope that they would not be using him. He was screwed.

Sitting with the interns, unless Meredith was around, wasn't something Derek usually did. Today, though, he needed to be around men, and the interns were the only available ones. "What is it with the women today," he asked as he took a seat across from George. Neither George nor Alex answered, choosing instead to stare at him as though he had grown two heads. "Meredith. She keeps ranting about yellow icing and how I am trying to take credit for her bad mood. And, let's not forget, that I lied about being in surgery most of the night."

"I blame raging hormones." Alex answered.

"Izzie, maybe, but what about the rest of them?" George asked around biting into a large Turkey and Swiss sandwich.

"I was randomly attacked over yellow frosting," Derek added. He wanted to feel as though he was part of the male bonding. They were bonding, he could feel it. The women's hate had brought them closer together. It was a scary, scary thing.

"Join the club," Alex snorted. "Now, thanks to Bailey, the only bakery in town even willing to consider doing a three tiered wedding cake by Saturday won't."

"Bailey?" Derek asked the same time as George.

"Yeah, I was on the phone with the guy right before Burke's surgery. Bailey stole my phone and told them she knew a baker who would be willing to do it for less and we weren't interested if he couldn't match or beat the price." Alex dropped his head into his hands. "How am I suppose to go home and tell Izzie we won't have a cake?"

"You could always go with the one that has yellow frosting," George suggested.

"Ah, okay. Now it makes sense. Your cake has yellow frosting?" Derek asked. Alex nodded. "And it isn't suppose to?" This time he shook his head. It was all coming together. Weddings and the need for perfection made women insane.

"It was suppose to have lemon flavored icing. Some sort of craving she had I guess, and they misunderstood. So, we have lemon colored frosting instead. They offered to fix it, but wanted to charge extra. Izzie through a fit and told them to keep the cake."

"She hates yellow," George interjected, again with his mouth full. Derek grimaced. Some one should have taught the kid that eating and talking at the same time was disgusting. "Especially bright yellow."

"So? It's just a cake," Derek shook his head. It was cake. It was eaten. It didn't have to look perfect in order to taste good. And taste was all that was important when it came to cake.

"That's what I said," Alex sighed. "That's when she went all crazy and Meredith bailed."

"Don't forget the part where you told her to bake the cake herself." George snickered.

Derek winced. No woman wanted to be told to bake her own cake. Throw in pregnancy hormones and he was fairly certain it had been an ugly scene. "You told her to bake the cake herself?"

"I thought I was helping. Throwing some ideas out there. Should have just kept my mouth shut," Alex grumbled. His scowl deepened when George suggested he ask for a double shift.

"So then, he tells her to bake it herself." Meredith leaned against the nurses station. She had stewed for hours, replaying Alex's blunder over and over again in her head.

Cristina sat there for a moment, the words sinking in. "He actually said that?" Meredith nodded. "I knew Karev was an idiot, but seriously."

"I know! Like she wants to bake her own cake. It's her wedding day. She has a million other things to worry about without having to bake a cake." Meredith shook her head, flicking the end of her ponytail over her shoulder.

"He told her to bake it herself?" Cristina asked again.

Meredith held her annoyance in check. It wasn't Cristina's fault that Alex had done something inexcusable. She sighed, then walked off. She wasn't in the mood to explain or carry on a conversation.

Izzie wouldn't panic. Not yet. There were any number of reasons why she would be in as much pain as she was in. She gasped, wrapping her arms around her stomach. "Is Dr. Shepherd in?"

The nurse didn't look up, just kept typing on her laptop. "Which one?"

"Hello!" Izzie stared at the woman in disbelief. "Which one do you think?" She sucked in her breath, her lips puckering as she tried not to let out a gasp of pain.

"If you would have a seat over there, I'll page her," the nurse instructed, pointing to a small group of chairs. Izzie bit out a fine, then started toward the chairs. Halfway there Addison appeared. "Dr. Shepherd!"

"It's Montgomery now," Addison corrected. Did it really matter? She would always be the She-Shepherd at Seattle Grace. The woman who had shown up and blown Meredith's world to smithereens. Not that it mattered anymore. Derek had chosen Meredith, and Addison had…well…Addison. "What seems to be the problem?"

Izzie opened her mouth, then let out a gasp. "I hurt," she managed to get out. "I hurt al really, really badly." She hated how she sounded like a small child. She was an adult, a doctor, she should have a better grasp on how to explain how she was feeling.

"Let's see what the problem is," Addison soothed, leading her into an exam room. Which was where Meredith happened upon her.

"You okay?" Meredith asked, stepping into the room. Her face was a mask of worry.

Izzie shook her head. "No. I'm not okay." She fought the urge to cry. What if something was wrong with the baby? What if, because she had been so focused on her own selfish needs, she had caused something to be wrong?

"Do you want me to get Alex?" Meredith asked. Izzie nodded. She needed Alex. He would make everything better. He always did.

Some how, the conversation from lunch had carried over into afternoon rounds. "I'm still trying to figure out why I was blamed for something I wasn't even around for," Derek sighed.

"Who knows. All I know is I deserve what I'm getting," George stated, his tone matter of fact, and just a tad bit resigned.

"And what is that O'Malley?" Alex snickered. "Another round of V.D.?"

George scowled. "Funny. Like you have room to talk."

"All in the past," Alex assured him. "Even, and I'm not saying I do, even if I wanted to cheat, I couldn't. Izzie wears me out."

"I could have lived without hearing that," George winced. Silently, Derek agreed. The sex lives of his girlfriend's friends wasn't something he wanted to hear about.

"Whatever," Alex muttered. He started to make another comment when Meredith rushed up. It took several seconds for her to spit out what she needed to say, and several more for her words to hit home with Alex. His face paled when he heard the words Izzie and baby. Not waiting to hear what the others were saying, he took off in the direction Meredith had come from.

Humiliation stained Izzie's pale cheeks the same scarlet as her shirt. She was a doctor. She should have known the difference. How was she going to face Meredith? And Alex? How was she going to explain to him what an idiot she was?

"Izzie!"

She looked up when she heard Alex panting her name. She forced a small smile. "Hey," she greeted him weakly. He strode over to where she sat on the edge of the exam table, pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Meredith said something was wrong with the baby?" Terrified hazel eyes searched her face. The red stained brightened even more.

"The baby is fine," she answered. To prove her point, the baby gave her a good jab in the ribs.

Alex smoothed his hand over her stomach, smiling when his hand was kicked. "And you?"

Here it came. The embarrassing part. She muttered that she was embarrassed. Alex shot her an odd look. "I had these bad cramps. I freaked out." His odd look grew concerned. "It was gas. Okay? I had really bad gas."

"What?" Alex's lips twitched at the corners. She could tell he was trying not to laugh. It wasn't funny, and she told him as much. "Come on, Iz. It's a little funny." She shook her head, still disagreeing, but a giggle escaping her lips none the less.

[i]Then the black cloud lifts, the laughter comes back, and life goes on. Yellow frosting and all...[/i]


	11. Imaginary Friends

_When I was a little girl I had this imaginary friend named Bob. He had this habit of doing things I knew would get him into trouble. Or rather me, since we all know that Bob wasn't real. Those were the days. We could get away with saying, it wasn't me! It was Bob. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that was as adults_.

It was right there. The answer was so simple it was alluding her. Cristina poured over the chart, knowing that at any second the answer would come to her. She frowned when a shadow spilled over the folder. She glanced up, found George standing there. Her gaze dropped back down to the chart.

"My life sucks.

Cristina looked back up, fighting to keep her annoyance off her face. "Are you talking to me?"

George frowned. "Yes, I'm talking to you."

She was afraid of that. "Please don't," she said quietly, looking back down at her chart. She didn't have time to pretend to be his friend. A woman's life was on the line, and the answers were right in front of her. She just had to find them.

"What?" George looked at her, stunned. "Why?"

Sighing, she closed the chart. "You mean other than the fact that I'm busy?" He nodded. "Because you're going to whine about how sucky your miserable life is. I'm going to say something mean. You're going to whine some more. Then, I'm going to tell you how pathetic I think you are. So, why not just save us the trouble. Your life sucks. Deal with it."

_As adults we not only get to make the mistakes, we have to own up to them._

Tapping her fingers against her thigh, Meredith paced back and forth across the small consultation room. It had taken almost an hour for her to get through to Derek. The one day she wanted to discuss the house he was across town hosting a lecture at Mercy West. "I was thinking maybe we shouldn't put hardwood floors in the kitchen." She frowned slightly as the connection broke up. "What?" She sighed when he started listing all the reasons he wanted hardwood floors. They were all good, valid reasons. She started to tell him her reasons for thinking it was a bad idea when he shifted topics. She giggled when he asked what sort of underwear she wearing. "Why? Do you want to torture yourself all day thinking about the fact that I'm wearing that little blue thong you love?" She giggled again when he told her he would make her pay later that night for instilling that image in his head. "I love you, too," she teased.

"Love sucks."

Meredith blinked. She hadn't even heard George come in. Heat blazed in her cheeks. She hoped he hadn't heard the comment about the blue thong. It would be too humiliating. "Hold on," she said into the phone. She lowered her cell and looked at George. "Hi."

"Hi," George returned, his voice sounding miserable. "My life sucks."

"Oh. I'm sorry." Meredith apologized, meaning it. George's life usually sucked. She kept that information to herself. "Listen, I'm sorry your life is sucking, but I'm kind of busy right now." She lifted the phone, giggling when Derek told her he loved her more than anyone could imagine. "No. I love you more than anyone could imagine."

"Meredith," George pleaded. He looked at her with large blue eyes that almost had her caving. Until Derek started talking about a whip cream bikini.

"Hold that thought," she breathed into the phone. "Look, George, can we talk about this later?"

_There are some adults, though, that don't quite get that concept. Sure, they've let 'Bob' go, only to replace him with a convenient replacement. Someone else to lay the blame on._

It didn't look good. Staring at those scans, knowing what they meant, made Alex hate his decision to become a doctor. Sick kids had always been hard for him, they were hard for most doctors, but now that he was going to be a father dealing with a child that was dying was even harder.

"I hate situations like this," Burke said. His grave tone spoke of how severe the situation was. Alex nodded, not sure he trusted himself to speak. His mind kept going back to the fact that he was going to be a father and he had to tell another man his son was dying. "So, how are we going to proceed?"

"First we need to inform the parents," Alex said lowly. He didn't relish doing it, didn't want to see the pain and resignation cross the parents faces.

"My life sucks," George interrupted, coming up from behind.

"Like that's anything new," Alex grumbled. He knew that there was no getting George out of his life since Izzie seemed attached to the guy, but that didn't mean he had to be nice.

"Very funny. I really screwed up this time," George insisted, not overly phased by Alex's lack of friendliness.

Burke cleared his throat, reminding Alex that now wasn't the time to get his kicks by torturing George. A small child's life was slowly dwindling. "Sorry. I would discuss the treatment options with the parents. In a case like this, surgery is the best course of action." Surgery wouldn't fix the problem, only prolong the child's life. Hopefully long enough for them to find a donor.

"How do I fix it?" George asked.

Alex scowled. He would have thought that the seriousness of the case Burke and he were working on wouldn't be lost on George. He had thought wrong. George was too wrapped up in his own problems. "Fix what? The kid that's dying? Because unless you're a three old little boy who has a hole the size of a freaking golf ball in his heart I don't have time to worry about fixing you."

_They just don't see able to understand that Bob is gone. That there is nobody else to blame. They don't see able to do anything other than wallow._

Cristina and Alex had been expected. George should have known better than to go to them with his problems. Meredith had been a bit of shock though. Of all his friends he had expected more from her. Sighing, he sank onto the edge of a gurney, pulling his cell phone out. He quietly dialed the number of the one person he knew he could count on. "Hey, Iz," he said when she answered.

"George?" Izzie sounded surprised to hear from him. He could the sound of a baby laughing in the back ground and a familiar woman's voice.

"Yeah. Hey, listen, I need to talk." He scooted around until he was comfortable. Izzie would listen. He could tell her how much his life sucked and she would help him fix it. She would help him figure out a way to get Callie and Olivia to forgive him.

"George, I'm really sorry, but can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something." Impatient rang in her voice. George blinked. Izzie was blowing him off? For what? It had to be important. She wouldn't blow him off if it wasn't. Shock radiated through his body after he asked her what she was doing. "I'm at Bailey's. We're going through some of William's old clothes." Bailey. That was why the woman had sound so familiar. Izzie laughed. "Bailey says to get your whining ass back to work!"

George scowled, and gasped. The phone line had gone dead in his hand.

_And, until they come to realize that, they're never going to be happy._

Satisfaction coursed through Meredith's body as she walked down the corridor, Cristina by her side. "I finally got through to him. I told him about what had happened to the floors in Burke's apartment. How the wood warped after the little pipe breaking incident." She hadn't mentioned to Derek that the pipes breaking had been Cristina's fault. He wouldn't understand why her friend had felt the need to fix the constant drip on her own instead of calling a professional in.

"Thank God," Cristina said. "Hardwood looks good, but it's a bitch to take care of. And not so forgiving." They shared a laugh, which faded as they seen George approaching them. The look they shared said neither were in the mood for hear his tale of woe. He had brought his misery on himself by cheating. It was hard to feel sorry for him.

"Hey," George greeted them.

"Hey George," Meredith said politely as they passed by. "I refuse to run a buffer," she said to Cristina.

Cristina nodded in George's direction, and then gave Meredith an odd look. "Have McDreamy hire a maid. He can afford it."

"Excellent idea!" Meredith exclaimed. They continued discussing the pro's and con's of flooring types and whether or not Meredith would be able to talk Derek into hiring a maid.

"That's fine," George yelled after them. "Be that way!"

Meredith glance over her shoulder, frowning. "What is with him?"

Cristina shrugged. "Who knows. He was all 'my life sucks' earlier. I told him to quit whining and deal with it." She chuckled softly at the memory of the shock on his face when she had done that. There was nothing better than sticking it to George.

"Yeah. I think I remember him saying something like that to me as well. I was on the phone with Derek, but we were talking about underwear…don't' ask…and I wasn't really paying attention to what George was saying." Meredith glanced back again. He was gone. Guilt assuaged her. Perhaps she should have taken the time to listen.

"Don't worry about him. He'll be fine. He's use to life sucking." Cristina blew a dark curl from her face. "Bailey get a hold of you?"

"About Izzie's shower? Yeah." Meredith couldn't stop the guilt. She should have listened to him. "Do you think he's okay?"

Cristina frowned. "Who? Bambi? Yeah. He'll be fine. Like I said, his life always sucks."

"I know, but," Meredith started, only to have Cristina cut her off by saying that George needed to grow up and now was as good of a time as anything.

OOOOOOOO

Taking a deep breath, George walked toward Callie. His supposed friends lack of interest in helping him had taught him one thing: he couldn't rely on anyone but himself. He would get through this on his own. He would fix things on his own. "Callie," he said cautiously.

"What?" Callie demanded, not bothering to look up from the paperwork she was writing on. He gulped. He had known this would be hard, but not this hard. "George, I'm busy, so if you're going to do your little stammering and beating around the bush thing, it's going to have to wait."

"Of course you're busy," George snapped. He had come to apologize, to tell her it hadn't been anything she had done. He had wanted her to understand that it hadn't been her. He owed her that much. Instead, she blew him off. Just like everyone else. He waved her off when she asked him what that was suppose to mean. Screw her. Screw them all. He was tired of not meaning anything to anyone. He had spent his whole day trying to figure his life out, trying to get his friends to help him. Not a single one of them would take five seconds to hear him out. Not that it would have mattered. Callie hadn't even been willing to talk to listen. Oh no. She had been busy. Well, fine. Now he would be busy. Busy figuring out why he bothered to even have friends!

OOOOOOOOO

Izzie dialed George's number for what had to be the tenth time. Again it went straight to voice mail. It wasn't like him to ignore her calls. "That's strange," she said slowly.

Looking up from the towels he was folding, Alex shrugged. He neatly placed a maroon colored towel onto of the growing stack on the table. "What's strange?"

"I can't get a hold of George. He called earlier and I kind of blew him off. He seemed really upset." Izzie pushed redial, impatiently tapping her foot against the leg of the chair she sat in.

"He wanted to talk to me too," Meredith said as she walked into the kitchen. She had changed into a nice short sleeved red blouse and black slacks. Derek had called to ask her to meet him at Mercy West for the dinner the board was hosting for him as a form of thanks. She didn't really want to go, but he had guilt tripped her into it by reminding her that he was giving up his hardwood floors for her. "I was on the phone with Derek and told him I would talk to him later. Only when he tried to talk to me again I was with Cristina. I sort of figured he was just being George."

"He seemed whinier than usual," Alex commented, stacking the last towel on the stack. Carefully, he moved the pile and started in on the wash clothes.

"I hope he's okay," Izzie fretted.

Alex chuckled. "I'm sure he's fine. He got his feelings hurt and how he's crawled off to lick his wounds." Izzie didn't look convinced. "Stop worrying about George. He's a big boy. He'll be fine."

"Alex is right," Meredith agreed. "He's probably at Joe's pouting in his beer because he pulled an Alex."

Picking up a towel, Alex threw it at Meredith, hitting her in the face. "Not funny, Grey."

OOOOOOOOO

George stared at the dart board. Any other Friday night and everyone else would have been there, playing darts, drinking beer, bad mouthing each other. Now though, Alex was Mr Domesticated, playing house with Izzie. Meredith was house obsessed, and Cristina...well, she was Cristina.

So, he sat alone.

"O'Malley, where's your cohorts?" Joe cried in his jovial voice, grinning from his position behind the bar.

"My what?" George frowned. He wasn't in the mood to make guesses on what words meant. Any other night he would have known or made an attempt to appear like he knew.

Joe looked at him, and then laughed. "You know. Your friends. Alex. Cristina. Meredith. Izzie."

Them. George's lip curled in disgust. "I have no friends," he sneered. Joe plunked a beer down in front of him. He scooped it up, gulping it down.

"Sure," Joe laughed, handing him another beer.

"I don't," George insisted. "Izzie is too busy worrying about baby stuff. Meredith is all gooey eyed over McDreamy again. And I was never friends with Cristina and Alex."

"If you say so," the bar tender mused. George assured him that he did say so, and he did mean it. "O'Malley, we've known each other for a while, right?" George nodded. "Hey, we've even spent a few holidays together. Which gives me the right to be honest with you. Now, don't go getting all puffed up, but dude you need to get a life."

"I have a life," George said defensively.

"Do you?" Joe didn't look convinced. "Cause all I ever hear from you is how Izzie is doing this, Meredith is doing that. You've got to get a life of your own. One that doesn't revolve around them." George scowled, heatedly reaffirming that he did indeed have a life of his own, or rather he had had one with Callie. "Sure. And you screwed up. It happens. You just have to jump back in the saddle. Meet some new people." He took the empty beer bottles away with a sigh and replaced them with a shot of tequila. He had a feeling George was going to need the stronger alcohol.

George sat there quietly, thinking on what Joe was saying. "You know what, " he said after a while, "you're right. I do need to meet new people. I need new friends." Joe protested, saying that isn't what he was talking about. "No. I do. Look at what Meredith did to me? She used me, that's what! Used me like…well I don't know what, but she did. And Izzie, she gives suck ass advice. I mean, she had to of known what would happen with Meredith, right? She had to of. And still, she said to go for it."

The door jingled as more people filed in. He didn't bother to look at who it was. Joe was though, and his face was tense. "George," he hissed.

"I'm not finished," George insisted. "They're users. The both of them. When Meredith gets all broken up because McDreamy left her, who has to listen to it? Me. I do. And Izzie! God, don't get me started on her. She's a mess. If I didn't hate Alex so much I'd almost feel sorry for him, having to be stuck with her for the rest of his life."

"George!" Joe snapped, nodding toward the door. George twisted n his seat. Staring back at him was an ashen faced Izzie, a stunned Meredith, and a pissed off Alex.

_So, as adults we should be able to take the blame for what we did wrong. Some of us, the one's who define ourselves by who we know, never seem to grasp that…_


	12. The Blame Game

Author's Note: Thanks for all the great reviews! I wrote this at the end of Season Two and it is kind of fun for me to reread this as I post it! I know a lot of you are anxious for my new story. Don't worry. It is going to be posted soon! Here is a small sneak peek though: 

"It's two o'clock in the morning Amber," he grumbled. The sniffling on the other end of the line shot guilt through his veins. It wasn't his sister's fault that their parents had been shitty or that they barely knew each other. He made a mental note to get to know his seventeen and a half year old sister a little better. She was the only family he had that hadn't gone nuts or forgotten he existed. 

"I'm sorry. I wouldn't have called except I…I don't know what to do!" The shuddering sob ricocheted across the phone lines, making Alex wish he were near enough to hug her. Whatever had prompted her to call in the middle of the night had to be big. Hell, the last time she had called it had been because Aaron had flipped his lid and tried choking her. "He's dead, Alex. Dad is dead. And mom, well she's not handling it at all. She's refusing to take her meds and won't stop screaming that her life is over. I'm scared. I think she's going to hurt herself." 

_The blame game. We all play it. Some of us better than others.._

Yanking her scrub top down, Meredith smoothed the pale blue cotton over her flat stomach. "A mess? Ha. Whatever."

From her seat on the bench, Izzie smiled sadly. "I'm the mess. You're the whore." They hadn't heard George call Meredith a whore, but knowing him the way they did they had known that was what he meant.

"You're not a mess," Alex said, dropping a kiss on Izzie's head before turning to look at Meredith. "And you're not a…well…you…you're very friendly Mer."

Meredith scowled, ignoring the back handed compliment. "I gave him a home. If it wasn't for me, he would still be at home letting his mom iron his underwear!"

"I cooked for him" Izzie added. She looked miserable. It wasn't just the situation with George that had her worn down. She was nearing the end of her pregnancy, only three and a half weeks to go. Addison had started scheduling her for weekly visits since she had gone into labor with Hannah early. The only good thing about being watched so closely was getting to come to the hospital and semi feel like she was still a doctor.

"Forget him. O'Malley wants to treat you guys like that, he doesn't deserve you." Alex said heatedly.

_What we fail to realize is that while we might like the game, we might like not having to own up to our mistakes, we don't' stop to think about how the game effects everyone around us…_

Kicking George out had crossed Meredith's mind more than once that day. It crossed it again as she stepped around him to get to the nurses station. She kept her focus on Debbie, willing herself to ignore the man she had though of as a friend. "Debbie, do you think you could page Dr. Bailey for me?

"Meredith," George said softly. He had come to stand next to her, standing so close that she could feel the heat off his body.

"Have her meet me in room 2204," Meredith said, continuing to ignore George. If he thought she was going to speak to him as though nothing had happened, he had better think again. "Oh, and could you please inform Dr. O'Malley that unless he has information that pertains to one of my patients, we have nothing to say to one another." She braced herself, and then looked at him. "A swell guy like him shouldn't have to converse with a whore."

A small amount of satisfaction curved her lips upward when he stared at her in shock. "I never said you were a whore," he choked.

Debbie quirked an eyebrow up but didn't ask. "Room 2204?" Meredith confirmed the room number before moving on to finish her rounds.

OOOOOOOO

George had to go. Meredith and Izzie didn't have it in them to evict the bastard, but Alex did. He just needed a plan; and he knew the perfect person to help him come up with one. He found her sitting alone in the locker room, munching on a candy bar. "Yang," Alex greeted, straddling the empty spot on the bench.

"What?" Cristina snarled around a mouthful of chocolate, peanuts, and caramel.

He took a deep breath, then asked "How'd you get O'Malley out?"

Cristina chewed some more, a thoughtful look on her face, and then swallowed. "Why? You evicting Bambi?" He hesitated before nodding. "Yeah. I would to."

"Heard?" She nodded. Figured. Most of the hospital had heard by now. People were either on O'Malley's side or they thought he was a complete bastard. There was no in between. It was Team Mer and Iz or Team George.

"If by heard, you're talking about how Izzie's a mess you deserve and how Meredith used him, then yeah, I heard." Cristina bit off another chunk of chocolate. "If you want to get rid of George you have to get back to basics." She sighed when Alex gave her a confused look. "I walked around naked."

"I'm not sure that would work. He's seen Izzie in her underwear, and he's definitely seen Meredith naked. And, I'm sorry, but no way in hell I'm going to parade around nude in front of him." Alex grimaced. So much for Yang helping him. The best she could come up with was walking around naked?

"Suit yourself." Cristina shrugged.

Alex wrinkled his brow. It had worked for Cristina. "So…naked?" She nodded. "And then he left?"

"Just like that," she said, snapping her fingers.

OOOOOOOO

George quickened his pace, following after Meredith. He needed to fix things. When he had said those things he had been upset, venting his frustrations more than anything. "Meredith. Come on. Please."

"Go away, George," Meredith snapped.

"No. When I was mad at you over the whole…thing…that happened between us you refused to give up on me. You kept telling me you were sorry until I listened." George reminded her. He had to quicken his pace to keep up with her.

"You're sorry? Really? You called me a whore!" Meredith hissed, narrowing her eyes into two narrow slits.

"I didn't call you a whore," George stammered. He could understand why she thought that he had. He had insinuated it when he called her a man user. He hadn't meant it though and he had to make her understand that.

"Fine. You didn't actually say that, but it's what you meant. Maybe I deserved it. Given our history, I can understand why you would think or say...whatever. I even get why you feel the way you do about Alex. But Izzie?" Meredith shook her head. "The only thing Izzie has ever done is try and be there for you. When the whole "thing" with us happened, she took your side. Without knowing the whole story, she took your's. That is what she does. She unconditionally takes your side. And how do you repay her? You say her life is nothing but a mess. She is nothing but a mess. Maybe that's true, to some extent, but are you really in a position to be saying that?"

OOOOOOOO

This was the appointment. Izzie could feel it. There had been discussions at the first couple appointments concerning her previous pregnancy, but Addison had kept them brief. It was as though she had known how much talking about that baby had upset Izzie. This appointment would be different. This appointment they would delve into how the labor had gone. Izzie could feel it.

"I know this subject is tough for you," Addison began, "and I've put it off for that reason, but we need to discuss how your first delivery went."

Izzie nodded. She had been correct. This appointment would be about digging into the past, about facing old wounds that never seemed to heal. "Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Does she have to do this?" Alex asked from her side. She curled her fingers into his, squeezing gently.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. I'll try to make this as easy as possible," Addison assured him. She looked toward Izzie her pen poised over the chart. "I know you were early by several weeks, but you never said why."

Izzie shrugged. "I don't know why. I don't think the doctor knew why. My water broke and it was like I instantly went into labor." Izzie frowned, remembering how embarrassing it had been. She had been at the truck stop, waiting for her mother to finish her shift so they could go to the doctor for an appointment much like this one. "It was all pretty much text book. I didn't have any unexpected complications and the pain wasn't out of the ordinary."

Addison nodded, and then closed the chart. "That is pretty much what your file says. So, in light of your tendency to go early, I think it best if you start taking it easy. And try to have someone around. I know you're a good doctor, but I don't think delivering your own baby is a skill you want to master. Any questions?"

Izzie looked at Alex. She didn't have any, but if he did now was the time for him to voice them. From the look on his face, she could tell he did. "Actually, I was wondering if you were planning on sharing Izzie's former pregnancy with anyone else?"

A gasp filled the room. Izzie wasn't sure if it was her own or Addison's.

OOOOOOOO

George stared at Meredith, uncertain of how he felt about what she had just said. He couldn't be entirely sure without asking, but it was like she had accused him of being a mess. "My life isn't a mess," he lied. Meredith snorted. "It's not."

"Whatever you say George. It doesn't matter. Until you apology, nothing you say really matter's." Meredith bit out.

He pursed his lips. "I'm not the only one who should apologize."

"Who do you want me to apologize to?" George demanded. He knew. He should apologize to them all, but damn it they owed him one as well.

"If you have to ask, then I'm not going to tell," Meredith snapped. Neither of them seen Miranda Bailey until she was upon them.

"I don't know, and I don't care, what is going on. O'Malley, I believe you are suppose to be in the clinic. Seeing how there is a virus going around I would suggest you get your ass back down there." Bailey snapped. She turned to Meredith. "What's this about Mr. Ashby?"

With a scowl fixed on his face, George left before Meredith could go into what was going on with her patient. He had a date with a clinic full of virus infected people. Oh happy day.

OOOOOOOO

Addison felt heat radiating in her cheeks. "I have never divulged information about a patient before. Never. And I don't plan to start now. My only concern is this baby, not any from the past."

"James," Alex interjected. Addison frowned. Who was James?

"We're naming him James," Izzie explained, rubbing her stomach with a smile on her face. "Alex thinks we should start calling him by his name, that way when he is born he knows who he is."

Addison stares at Alex in surprise. He scowled. "So I listened when you were talking about how babies can hear and pick up on things. Big deal." It was a big deal though, Addison mused. Alex just didn't realize it yet. The kid was gifted where babies were concerned, and hopefully one day he would see that.

OOOOOOO

The day was going to be long, Cristina thought with a sour look on her face. There were prime surgeries being discovered and performed while she was stuck in the clinic listening to George whine. He thought he was being punished. Cristina knew better. It was she who was being punished.

"Stop," she said when she was unable to take anymore. "Just…stop. The only person being punished, is me."

George looked at her, and then glared. "Why do you have to make everything about you?"

Deep, even breaths, she reminded herself. On a good day she had little patience. Today, when she was at her wits end, there was none. "Do you really want to piss off the only friend you have left?" She asked.

"We're not friends," George grumbled. Cristina stared at him. He was partially right. They weren't close, but that didn't mean they didn't have a friendship. After all she had let him stay with her when he had nobody else to turn to. She reminded him of that little fact, only to get it thrown back in her face. "Burke let me stay."

"Why do you think he did George? Out of some underlying respect and need to be your friend? Please. You're an intern. Just a pathetic little intern. You're not his friend. He invited you because he felt sorry for you and you were my friend. Were, being the operative word." Cristina spun on the ball of her foot, needing to be away from him before she said anything else she might regret.

OOOOOOOO

Meredith stood in the entry of Mr. Ashby's room, her fingers gripping the chart. She didn't know how to handle the man's problem. Hopefully Bailey would. "Afternoon, Mr. Ashby," Bailey greeted. "I hear we're having some problems."

The elderly man nodded, looking in Meredith's direction. She stepped into the room, crossing to the bed. Taking the frail hand in her own, she gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's alright, Mr. Ashby. She's here to help you."

He nodded, keeping a hold of her hand. "I don't want to go home. Not with her."

Bailey looked to Meredith, a confused frown on her face. "His wife," she explained.

"Woman won't let me be. All day. All night. She nags. I might be old, and half my mind might be gone, but I want to die in peace." Mr. Ashby sighed. Meredith looked at him again. "And, I think she might be trying to kill me."

OOOOOOOO

George couldn't believe it. He was Cristina's friend. It was a revelation he hadn't been expecting, but one he had desperately needed. "We're friends?" He asked, needing to hear it again.

"Were," Cristina affirmed. He couldn't resist. He had to hug her. He wasn't alone. He had one friend left. "Let go," she hissed.

"Sorry. I'm just…excited. I have a friend. One I haven't seen naked." He hugged her again, earning an elbow in the stomach for his trouble.

"Ugh, stop." Cristina cringed when he squeezed her again. "And you have seen me naked. Although, I am sure it is a memory we have both tried to block out."

It took a second for him to realize what she was talking about. His last five minutes of living with her and Burke. When she had walked out of the bedroom wearing nothing. It had taken him weeks to get the image from his mind. Her slender, milk white skin that seemed to glow. He gulped, reminding himself that thoughts of Cristina were forbidden. Forbidden and toxic.

OOOOOOOO

Draping his jacket over Izzie's shoulders, Alex walked her to the main entrance of the hospital. "Are you okay?" He asked, pulling her close. The pain on her face when she had talked about her last pregnancy had just about killed him. If he could have spared her talking about it, he would have. There had been no way to avoid the talk, though. The information had been important.

"I'm fine," Izzie snuggled close to him. "Why wouldn't I be?"

He hesitated. "Hannah. I figured, you know, talking about her was hard."

Izzie nodded, a solemn look on her face. "It was. I'm fine, though. She's part of my past, one I can't forget but I do have to let go of. I think I'm starting to do that. I think I am finally starting to let Hannah go."

"You don't have to," Alex said softly.

"I know. It's time though." Izzie pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'll see you when you get home. We'll discuss middle names."

"Matthew," Alex teased. Izzie wrinkled her nose up, shaking her head. She wanted his name to be part of the baby's. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, given his father's name was his middle name. It wasn't a tradition he wanted to start if it meant giving his father credit. "Call me when you get home, okay?" He asked when he noticed the steady fall of rain hitting the pavement.

"Will do," Izzie promised, kissing him one last time before hurrying out into the rain, his jacket pulled over her head.

OOOOOOOO

Meredith shifted from one foot to the other. They were still trying to make head or tail of Mr. Ashby's declaration that his wife wanted him dead. "You need to give us something specific," Bailey said.

"I can't. Just a feeling I have." The nervous old man kept looking toward the door, as though he expected his wife to come in at any moment. It was an all too real possibility. She often came to visit around this time. "Plus, she won't let me go to a home."

"Nursing home." Meredith whispered when Bailey looked at her. "They won't let him admit himself because his wife has them convinced he is senile."

"I'm not senile," Mr. Ashby argued. Meredith nodded her agreement. Psych had been done, proclaimed the man forgetful but not crazy.

OOOOOOOO

Alex flipped his phone over and over again in his palm. Only fifteen minutes had past, too soon for Izzie to call. He couldn't help the worry, or the need to hear her voice. There had been this odd feeling when she walked away, as though he would never see her again. A chill ran down his spine.

"Stop it," Cristina hissed. He frowned, not sure he understood what she was talking about. "The phone. Stop messing with the phone."

Guilitly, Alex slid it back into his pocket. After watching Izzie leave, he had gone back to the clinic. A round of some virus had the place full. "Sorry."

"Izzie's fine." George said as he walked out of a curtained off exam room. The sound of latex popping filled the area as he removed a pair of gloves. "She'll call when she gets home."

"Shut up," Alex growled. He didn't want to hear her named on George's lips. The little bastard had hurt her. For that, he couldn't forgive him. He started to rip into him. The beeping of pagers stopped him. He looked down. 9-1-1. He knew without asking that the others read the same thing. They ran toward the Pit, meeting Bailey.

"Pile up. Some one page Addison. They're bringing in two pregnant women."

_Blame, there's a lot to go around. But sometimes, there is no where to put it…_


	13. Fear

Author's Note: Just to clear the time frame up, it is three weeks before Izzie's due date. I don't want anyone worrying. I sped through time, I know. I can't remember why I did it except maybe I wanted to get to a certain point before Season Three started, lol. Also, my medical wasn't so hot back then.

_Fear. Most of us, the strong one's anyways, will say there is nothing that scares us. We sleep through the night after a horror film festival._

"Let me go," Alex yelled, yanking his arm. Tyler, as well as another male nurse, refused to release him. His heart pounded wildly. He had to know. He had to know if one of the pregnant women was Izzie.

_We ignore the scratching on our window, because we know that it is just a tree limb._

"You release him and I will have both your asses fired," Bailey threatened. She looked at Alex, catching his jaw in her hand. She squeezed it, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "You want them to let go, you calm down. We don't know anything. We don't know who these women are. All we know is there are two pregnant women. One of which is critically injured. That is all we know."

_Generally, we're proud of our fearless nature. Until a time comes when we're so scared, we drive ourselves over the edge_

_Being strong wasn't Meredith's greatest accomplishment. On occasion she was able to muster strength she didn't know she possessed. She was trying, now, to bring that strength to the surface. It would glimmer, almost there, and then she would start thinking about the pregnant women. _

"_Let him go," she pleaded, laying an arm on Dr. Bailey's shoulder. "Please. I'll be responsible for him" Reluctantly, Dr. Bailey nodded. Alex jerked free, a wild fear stamped on his face. Meredith caught him before he could storm toward the ambulance bay. If it was Izzie being brought in, he didn't need to see her. "Alex, if I let go will you promise to calm down?" _

_He nodded, his body visibly trembling. "She's all I have, Mer. Her and that baby, they're all I have." _

_It wasn't true. He had her. He had her, Cristina, and George. She wouldn't remind him of that right now. She understood. He was scared that he was going to lose the two most important people in his life. Meredith knew that fear. "We have to be calm. We don't know if it's Izzie, and, if it is, we need to be calm." _

_Alex reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers until they were numb. She squeezed back. A gush of relief and need swept through her when she seen Derek rushing toward her. His hair was wet, plastered to his head, and there was dark smudges on his slacks. "Derek, something bad has happened." She untangled her hand, rushing into his arms. "Izzie.." _

_Derek smoothed her hair back. "Izzie? She's fine." Tension fled Meredith's body. She didn't have to look at Alex to know he had visibly relaxed. "She's in my office." _

"_In your office?" Meredith frowned, pulling back. She looked up into Derek's face, questions forming in her eyes._

"_Her back tire was flat," Derek explained. "I told her to wait in my office while I changed it. I didn't get past getting it off when I was paged." _

_OOOOOOOO_

_The woman on the gurney had to be in her mid to late thirties. She had once been pretty, with a clear complexion and fiery red hair. Now, her beautiful face was a mask of cuts and terror. "My girl's," she sobbed, grasping for Cristina's arm. "Where are my girls?" _

_Cristina kept her face in a stoic mask. The moment the EMT had brought the woman in she had been busy, trying to keep the woman calm, trying to pick glass from the pretty face with a pair of tweezers. Sloan had been paged. She hadn't seen or heard about any little girls. _

"_Please! I need to know about my girls," the woman screamed, trying to rise from the gurney. _

_Placing firm but gentle hands on the woman, Cristina eased her back down. "You need to be calm and let me get this glass out." The woman shook her head, sobbing. "You need to calm down" she repeated._

"_My girls. They're only eight. Twins. Please. I have to know they're okay." Large blue eyes met Cristina's, fear begging her to find the girls. _

"_If I find out where they're at will let me get the glass out?" The woman nodded. Sighing, Cristina handed the tweezers to a nurse. "Keep pulling the glass out, page me if Sloan comes before I get back."_

_OOOOOOOO_

_Shivering and telling herself the pains radiating in her lower body were normal, Izzie almost collided with an agitated Cristina. Cristina stared at her as though seeing a ghost. "You okay?"_

"_I'm fine. Never better. Have a patient that won't let me do anything until I find out about her kids, but hey…" Cristina shrugged. "You get that we all thought something happened to you right," she blurted out a second later._

_Izzie blinked. She hadn't realized. "I had a flat tire." _

"_Better than being trapped in a smashed car." Cristina quipped, and then grimaced. "They're bringing in two pregnant women. Was a big pill up on one of the bridges." She hesitated, and then went on. "Alex went a little nuts when we heard. I think he thought one of them was you. Bailey had to have a couple of the male nurses restrain him. It's kind of funny, now that I know you're okay." _

_The blood drained from her face. She needed to find Alex. She started to ask where Bailey and the nurses were keeping him when she spotted a nurse struggling with a red haired woman whose face was cut up. "Uh, Cristina, I think you're patient is trying to go AWAL." _

_Cristina muttered a curse, turning to face the woman. "Ma'am, I'm going to find out about your girls, okay, but seriously you need to lay back down." _

_Izzie sighed. She loved Cristina, she really did, but the girl had no bed side manner. "Can you tell me what they look like? They're names?" Gently, she guided the woman back to the gurney. _

"_Nicole and Natalie," the woman gasped, coughing slightly into her fist. "They have red hair, like me. I…I think they had on pink. God, I can't believe I don't remember what they had on." _

"_It's okay. That's not important. I'm going to ask about them. You need to do me a favor though. You need to let Dr. Yang take care of you. Can you do that?" Reluctantly, the woman nodded. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_Calm. She needed to remain calm. The pain was nothing. Most likely it was false labor. At least that was what Izzie kept telling herself as she asked around about two little girls. Frustratingly enough nobody seemed to have any idea if there had been two little girls brought in. _

"_Izzie!" _

_Bracing one hand at the small of her back, she turned to face George. She had wanted to be angry with him, but couldn't. Deep down she knew he hadn't meant it. He had been hurt, angry, and he was entitled to vent. Getting Alex to see that was another matter. "I'm fine," she said before he could ask. _

"_I'm sorry," he said softly. She nodded, offering him a weak smile. The pain seemed to be lessening. She breathed a sigh of relief, confident that she had been correct in thinking it was false labor. "I shouldn't have said…"_

"_It's okay," she assured him. "I understand. Listen, have you seen two little girls? They're around eight. Red hair. Their names are Nicole and Natalie. Their mom is Cristina's patient and refusing treatment until she knows they are okay." _

"_I have a girl around that age. Red hair. Pink sweater. She said her name was Nicky, but I guess that could be short for Nicole." George said. She wanted to let out a triumphant shout, but a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, tugging her up against a firm chest. _

_Turning, she buried her face in Alex's neck, letting him hold her. The embrace wasn't for her, but for him. She let him hold tight, trying not to grimace when another pain started to form in her spine. "I'm okay," she whispered in his ear. He nodded, easing his hold on her. "Can't say the same for our back tire, though." Alex laughed. "You better go, they're still bringing people in." He nodded, kissing her again before hurrying back in the direction he had come from. _

"_Iz," George cut in after Alex was out of sight. Concern was written across his face. "The little girl, Nicky, she's not so good. Her injuries are internal." _

"_How bad?" Izzie felt her heart plummet. It was never easy when they dealt with a child who might die. Knowing she would have to take bad news back to a desperate mother didn't sit well. _

"_Looks like her heart was punctured by a broken rib." _

_OOOOOOOO_

_Damp blonde curls had never been a more welcomed sight. Meredith couldn't help but smile when she spotted Izzie talking to George. "Izzie," she greeted cheerfully. _

_Izzie looked at her, irritation on her face. "I'm fine. Baby is fine. We are both fine." Meredith was slightly taken aback by her tone. She had never heard Izzie sounding so irritated. It was almost like talking to a grouchy bear who had been woken up too soon. "George, do you think you could find out about the sister? I mean, the EMTs who brought your girl in have to know about the other one." _

"_I have her," Meredith said quietly. She didn't have to ask for details to know they talking about the broken little red haired girl Derek was with. "Natalie. I have Natalie. Or rather Derek has her." _

_Before her eyes, Izzie seemed to relax, as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "Tell me she's okay. Let me take at least some good news back to their mom." _

_Dejection hit Meredith full force. "I'm sorry," she shook her head. "The C.T.s are showing massive head trauma. It doesn't look like she's ever going to wake up." _

"_Oh God," Izzie hissed. Her face pinched, as though she was fighting through pain. _

"_Iz, I know it's hard when they're so little, but sometimes…" Meredith stopped when Izzie shook her head. "What?" _

"_Addison" Izzie gasped, "I need you to page Addison!" _

_OOOOOOOO_

_The child on the table looked like an angel. Or she would have if not for the caked blood in her red hair. Poor girl, Alex thought sadly. The scans were showing no activity. Nothing. Not even a tiny ray of hope. She was gone. _

"_Poor kid," he muttered, straightening a lock of her hair that had fallen across her pale cheek. "Any one told the parents?" _

_Derek shook his head. "Her sister is down stairs. Burke and O'Malley have her. The mother was driving the car. She's hurt, nothing substantial. Father is stationed in Iraq." _

_Great, Alex thought sourly. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_Damage. George hated that word. He knew it was coming though. He could see it written on Burke's face. Nicole was just too damaged. "There's nothing we can do?" _

_Burke shook his head. "Short of finding her a new heart, and fast? No. There's nothing we can do." _

_It was the answer he had been expecting, had known was coming, yet he still hated to hear it. "So what do we do? Stand by and watch her die?" _

"_No. We try to repair her the best we can. Then we stand by and wait." The 'for her to die' was left unspoken but George knew it was there. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_It was official. The back pains were not Braxton Hicks, but actual labor. When she suggested going home, Addison refused. "It's only phase one," Izzie pointed out. "Technically I have quite a ways to go before I need to be here." _

"_Izzie, when I examined you earlier you were at a one. Now, you're at a three. There is no way I am letting you leave. If you weren't going home alone, I wouldn't have a problem with letting you go, but I know for a fact that Alex, Meredith, and George are all scrubbing into major surgeries." Addison crossed her arms. _

"_Addison, I'll be fine. Like you said, it's only a three." Izzie tried to rise from her perch on end of the exam table. A contraction had her sucking her breath in. "On second thought…" she hissed out._

"_You're staying."_

_OOOOOOOO_

_A sick feeling grew in Meredith's stomach as she joined the small group gathered in the consultation room behind the nurses station. "She's brain dead?" _

"_No activity. I'm shocked her body is even functioning." Derek shook his head sadly. _

"_And the other one has a hole in her heart?" _

_George nodded. "Burke and I tried to repair it, but there was too much damage." He bit the last part out with a bitter snap. _

_Pushing her hair off her face, Meredith looked from Derek's face to Burke's. The graveness of the situation hit her full force. Both of these girls were going to die. She dealt with death daily, had looked it in the face more times than she cared to think about, and yet this case left her feeling hollow. "There's nothing we do? Nothing?" _

"_Find Nicole a new heart," George said sourly. The chances of finding the perfect match in time was impossible. _

"_These girls…they're twins right?" Alex asked slowly. Meredith looked at him. He had an idea. She could see it. _

"_Identical," Derek answered. _

_It hit them all at once. They were identical twins. In terms of matching, they were a genetic lottery. At least one of them might have a chance after all. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_The evening wasn't going to end any time soon, Addison realized. And Izzie Stevens Karev was not going to be a fun patient. It had been four hours since she had first checked Izzie, and in that time frame the younger woman had gone from a three to a seven. Only three centimeters to go. _

"_Remember when I said I wanted natural child birth?" Izzie panted, her dark eyes wide. Addison nodded. "I lied. I don't. I want the drugs." _

"_I'll call the anesthesiologist," Addison laughed. She had figured this would be coming. She picked up the phone, started to dial._

"_No. Wait. I said I was going to do this naturally, and I am. I am." Izzie moaned. She laid back on the bed, puling a pillow over her face as she let out a small shriek. _

"_Okay," Addison couldn't resist chuckling again as she hung up the phone. "You know, there is nothing wrong with needing the drugs." _

_Izzie shook her head. "I had them before. I want things different this time. I want things to be…different." _

_Understanding filled Addison. She understood better than Izzie would ever know._

_OOOOOOOO_

_Telling the mother had been harder than George ever imagined. He stood back, between Meredith and Alex, watching as Derek and Burke explained the situation. _

"_I don't understand," she sobbed. Melissa was her name. She was alone, raising the girls while her husband, an Army Sergeant, fought over seas. "You want to put Natty's heart in Nicky?" _

_George shared a look with Alex as Derek tried to explain the how's and why's. It was days like this he hated being a doctor almost as much as he loved it. He had come to terms with the can't save them all saying. _

_The room filled with tension as they waited for confirmation from the mother. A collective sigh went up when she gave a heart broken yes._

_OOOOOOOO_

_Almost a ten, Izzie thought with a grimace. Six hours of contractions had only earned her an almost ten. Her water hadn't broken, and it didn't look as though it would be breaking on its own. She didn't relish having Addison use the "hook" to break it either. In fact, the idea of having an over sized crochet hook inserted inside her wasn't sitting well with her. _

"_You know there is no way around this," Addison pointed out, pulling a pair of latex gloves on. From a medical stand point Izzie understood perfectly. As a patient, one who was trying really hard not to panic or act insane, she didn't quite grasp the why. In fact, as a patient waiting for her water to break naturally seemed like a good choice. _

"_I know," Izzie said quietly. She closed her eyes, her fists gripping the sheet beneath her. She wanted Alex, needed him. "Can you page Alex? Please?" _

_Addison nodded. "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to ask for him." _

"_I didn't see the point in him being here until it was necessary," Izzie whispered, her lower lip trembling as Addison inserted the hook. A moment later she felt a warm gush. It wouldn't be long. With her water broke she would reach ten in no time, and it hadn't taken many pushes to get Hannah out. No doubt it would take even less for James. She was ready, yet at the same time terrified. _

"_Dr. Montgomery?" _

_Izzie lifted her head, her dark eyes narrowing in on the petite red headed nurse standing in the door way. "Get her out of here!" She snapped. The last person she wanted around when she had her baby was Olivia. _

"_Dr. Stuart sent me to inform you that the 37 week accident victim just went into labor." Olivia continued, as though she hadn't heard Izzie. The red stain on her cheeks said that she had. _

"_Is there any sign of trouble?" Addison asked. Olivia shook her head. "Then tell her to proceed with the delivery. I'm a little busy at the moment." Olivia nodded again. "Oh, and Olivia could you please page Dr. Karev." _

_OOOOOOOO_

_The surgery was going as planned. Derek, Bailey, Cristina, and George had removed Natalie's viable organs, readying them for transport. It was George who carried the heart across the hallway to the operating room where Burke, Alex, and Meredith waited with Nicole. _

"_I can't imagine how she's going to feel when she finds out her sister died and that she has her heart," Meredith said quietly. Burke nodded, his sole focus on getting the damaged heart out. "It just seems unreal, you know. They started life together. They were the same egg, and now…" _

"_They're still together if you think about," Alex mused. He understood what she was saying though. The two girls had always been together, and now only a part of Natalie would be with Nicole. _

"_You're morbid," Meredith muttered. _

"_Not really," Alex said defensively. "Think about it. Natalie's heart is going to save Nicole. If it wasn't for her sister, she wouldn't be alive. I'd think she would be grateful." _

"_Grateful that she is alive and her sister, her twin sister, is dead?" Meredith shook her head. "Some how I don't think grateful is going to be what she feels." _

"_Dr. Burke?" Olivia called from the entry that led into the scrub room. "I need Dr. Karev." _

"_He's busy at the moment," Burke said smoothly. He had made the final cut to remove the heart. It was a shame, how torn and battered it looked. _

"_I understand that sir, but Izzie's in labor." Olivia explained. Burke looked at Alex, gave him a nod. _

_Alex slowly walked away from the table. Half way to the door it hit him. She had said Izzie was in labor. Panic started to over come him. His chest felt as though it was constricting. He was about to become a father, and it scared the crap out of him. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_The natural childbirth route was not for her. Drugs, that was what she wanted. Lot's and lot's of drugs. Pain killing drugs that numbed her. "I want the drugs," Izzie hissed, her face red from the exertion of not pushing. She didn't understand why Addison wouldn't let her push. It was only a half a centimeter. What did it matter?_

"_Izzie, you are past the point where drugs would work. If I gave them to you now they wouldn't kick in until after the baby was born." Addison shook her head, tendrils of red hair escaping her loose pony tail. "We've been over this, already." _

"_I don't care! I want them. I want them now!" The last word came out as a shriek. She was never having sex again. Never. Not if it led to this. Of course she had thought the same thing while having Hannah and look at how well she had kept to her word. This time would be different though. She would honor her no sex vow and never place herself in this position again. Never. The pain wasn't worth the pleasure. _

_The door flung open, a white faced Alex tumbling into the room. "You," Izzie shouted. "You did this to me! And if you think I'm ever going to let you touch me again you're wrong!" _

_OOOOOOOO_

_They had done a good thing. Meredith kept telling herself that as helped Burke transplant the healthy heart into Nicole's chest. She couldn't help but wonder how the little girl on the table would feel when she got older and could fully understand the situation. Part of her wanted to think Alex was right, that she would cling to the fact that a part of Natalie had lived on in her. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_George passed outside the room where Olivia had told him Izzie was. The last thing he had expected upon scrubbing out of surgery was to learn his best friend was in labor. _

"_Stop pacing," Cristina snapped. She was slouched in a chair just outside the door. He didn't know why she had accompanied him, other than there was really not much else to do now that their shifts were over. They had no lives. _

"_Do you think she's had him?" He asked anxiously. He jumped when he heard a muffled scream. _

"_Hear that screaming George?" Cristina asked. He nodded. He would have to be deaf to not hear the screaming. "If she had had him, then she wouldn't still be screaming now would she?" _

"_Maybe she's screaming at Alex." George suggested. He could always hope. He didn't understand why Izzie cared about Karev. The guy had hurt her more times than any person should have to be hurt._

"_Maybe she's screaming at Alex," Cristina mimicked. He scowled, and then resumed his pacing._

_OOOOOOOO_

"_You need to breath, Izzie," Addison ordered. Izzie glared at her, panting. "You're going to end up hyperventilating if you don't." _

"_I am breathing," Izzie gasped. She gripped Alex's forearm, her nails digging into the skin. He tried to yank away, she dug in deeper. If she had to feel pain, so did he. It was his fault she was in this position. _

"_Right. Try breathing more," Addison stated. _

"_I am," Izzie yelled. Alex untangled his arm from her grip. She grappled for any part of him she could, her fist closing around his scrubs. _

"_Let go," Alex sucked in his breath. "You've got skin." She relaxed her grip, forcing herself to concentrate on breathing. She was only half aware of Addison telling them she could see the head. _

"_I need you to push hard this time," Addison told her. Izzie nodded, grasping Alex's arm once more. Her scream mingled with his._

_OOOOOOOO_

"_Is that Alex screaming?"_

_George's anxiety was starting to grow old. Cristina rolled her eyes. "Does it sound like him?" The idiot nodded. He was just too easy of a target at times. "Then I think you can safely assume that it is him screaming." _

"_Why?" George stared at the door, his eyes narrowed. "Why do you think he's screaming?" _

"_Maybe Izzie's castrating him," Cristina suggested with a chuckle._

"_Stop talking down to me," George said with a scowl. She blinked. Since when did he have a back bone? "I'm not a little kid. I have valid reasons for my questions and I'm tired of you acting like their not. I'm tired of you making fun of me!" His blue eyes blazed. _

_Heat pooled in her stomach. There was nothing hotter than an angry, assertive man. It was sick, this awareness she suddenly had of George. She wanted it gone, yet it fascinated her. "Stop giving me a reason to make fun of you and I'll stop," she snickered. She knew it would rile him more, and she was right. He opened his mouth, ready to fire back, and suddenly stopped. "What?" _

"_Is that crying?" _

_Cristina stopped, listening. A tiny cry could be heard through the door. "Oh my God, it is!" She jumped to her feet, moving to stand next to George. "Wow. Kid has some lungs on him." _

"_Yeah," George said in amazement. He looked down at her. Something passed between them, something she couldn't explain. She grabbed his face in her hands and pressed her lips to his. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_Through tear filled Izzie's stared down at the small baby in her arms. A soft thatch of light brown hair stood out from his head. She smoothed it down with two of her fingers. "He's so perfect," she whispered in awe. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't believe she was a part of something so wonderful. Some of the old feelings of doubt crept in. Was she worthy? Did she deserve him?_

"_He has your nose," Alex chuckled softly. She shook her head. The nose was Alex's, there was no denying that. If he had wanted to deny their son he wouldn't have been able to, his genes were stamped all over the tiny little boy. He was Alex's son through and through. _

"_He has your nose. The chin is mine though." Izzie smiled, touching the only feature her son had inherited from her. Bending her face down, she pressed a kiss to the palm of one miniature hand. _

_OOOOOOOO_

_George stared up at the bunk, disbelief coursing through him. "That was…" He didn't finish the sentence, unsure of what he was going to say. _

"_Yeah," Cristina said in return. She climbed over him, one naked breast hitting him in the chin. He closed his eyes. Seeing Cristina Yang had never been on his list of things to do. Cristina had never been on his list of things to do, but had just made the top of the list of things done. "You tell anyone about this and I will castrate you." _

"_Oh, don't worry. My lips are sealed," George assured her. _


End file.
